How do I get out of this Labyrinth??

That is exactly how my brain feels right now. Just a maze of thoughts & I keep hitting dead ends. My ADD is also on complete an utter Overdrive.

So today I'll ANSWER  ANY QUESTION you want!

 May it be G-rated or R-rated, pick your poison. I'm all ears & will answer all.

For now I'll be dancing in a dream world in my head awaiting all the answers in my life I need desperately to recieve.

Every time I visit A Cup of Jo & she talks about her sweet baby Toby it makes me want to watch Labyrinth. It's my favorite movie. =) I'm probably going to watch it tonight!



So THIS is what it’s like to be a Grown Up…Ohhhhhhhhhh....

When I was younger I loved to put on my mother’s shoes, her make-up, perfume & play in my grandmother’s closet. Becoming an adult was something so far fetched to me that I never thought it would happen. Of course I got older & now I’m in that tricky age where I’m seen as an adult but I still feel like a big teenager still struggling to find my way. However there are moments that make me feel like I’m on the right path, made the right choices, & actually might feel like a grown up.

It might have been cool to get sprinkled with pixie dust & stay young forever but I have a feeling it would get old. This holiday season I’ve done so many things that have made me walk a lil taller, feel less lost, & happy where my life is turning. One being driving up to my grandmother’s with CJ for Thanksgiving. It’s usually my parents & me driving up alone. It’s been that way for 24 years. This year it was different. I got to bring a guy up & drive up myself with him. It might seem so simple to you guys but it’s sort of like a rite of passage to me. I can’t help but smile.

I asked CJ who is 4 years older than me if he still had those, “Wow I feel like an adult now” moments. Oh yes he does. Over the end of last week he got a promotion at his job & he is ever so ecstatic. When I went over to his place to congratulate him he told me that he’s starting to feel like he’s finally where he’s supposed to be & that he feels like he’s becoming a successful adult. I'm SOOO proud of him! =)

Turning 21 was awesome, graduating college ruled, and now I’m faced with a lot more serious things. Mortgage payments, needing an increase in salary so I’m going to HAVE to look for a new job, watching my cholesterol, and making sure my back doesn’t go out again are more things but it feels right. Having a man in my life not an asshole boy is another. Having a dinner date with a couple that isn’t at a pizza place but a restaurant where your napkin is folded over your lap is making me feel like I’m EXACTLY where I’m supposed to be.

Call me strange but I like paying my bills. I enjoy having my credit card to use & getting in my car & driving wherever the wheel takes me. It’s a joy. I think I might have to change my blog description a bit because I might just NOT be lost anymore. I might be found & I might actually be a grown up. That’s fucking awesome. =)

Do you still have those, “I Feel all Grown-Up moments”?

I’d love to hear. =)

If I had a Dream Wish List...

Hi Everyone! How many people keep getting asked, "What do you want for Christmas or Hannukah this year?" over & over. Probably all of you! Well if I fell down the rabbit hole & had tons of money this would be my Dream gift list.

Tiffany Keys Blossom Key Pendant w/ chain $400

A pair of Louboutins $595

This New Years Tweed Dress from Anthropologie $268

Bows & Whistles Red Purse from Betsy Johnson $368

KitchenAid Mixer $299

Xbox 360 w/ Kinnex $299

Sex & the City Complete Series: $100

Maybe one day. This year money has been a lil tight for me because of the Condo fiasco & saving up money for a future trip I'm taking in 2011 so I've been hitting the sales hard. One item I did find that was an absolute PERFECT gift for some of friends who have just bought their first homes or loves to entertain is a Fondue Set. It's something that is really simple to do & is alot of fun! The really cool part is that it only cost $19.99. Here is the one I've been buying:

My Perfect Kitchen Stainless Steel Lazy Susan Fondue Set 17 Pc

Ohh what a week. I should know more information about the condo today!! I'm so excited! =) I hopefully too will be having a giveaway some point next week! Stay Tuned! I hope everyone has a great weekend!

I've been finding it easier to follow people on Bloglovin lately. The reader is so much easy to use & keep track of everyone. Give it a try!

There's children throwing snowballs instead of throwing heads they're busy building toys and absolutely no one's dead!

Apparently we’ve all arrived in Christmas Town here on Blogger & the world like Jack Skellington up there. However my favorite part of Christmas is driving around and seeing all the lights. Some people go all out like the Griswolds & the sides of my mouth can’t help but curl up in a smile. I enjoy getting the gifts, not necessarily the shopping madness, but the look of “OMG YOU GOT THIS FOR ME??!! I WANTED THIS!!” makes it worth it. I can’t wait to wear my black & red Santa hat this season & get my tree up early this year not 3 days before. Soo much to do, literally…Where is the time going?

I can’t believe its December. It baffles me how much my life has changed since last December. I was so depressed last year for so many reasons. I was lost in the sea of my decisions & getting over the consequences. I’m shaking my head as I write this because it was a very hard time for me. But the difference a year will make. I think that’s why I’m so enamored by the movie & story behind, “Eat Pray Love”. She grew into a new healthy more beautiful & true to herself person. I think I did some of the same.

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Since last December I’ve found someone I might want to spend the rest of my life with. I have a new love for cupcakes & all the decorations. I don’t have any better patience, BUT I speak my mind more. I’m not settling for the least, I’m striving for the best. I might get into my first place next week…last December that was a pipe dream in my head that I never thought it could be a reality. I got to see my favorite band in concert and EVEN after 3 years they still remember me from being in their music video. I’ve lost 10 pounds, gained 20 pounds, lost 5…but I now know the value of the gym. Sometimes you need a lil help, I think I’ve learned that it’s okay to ask for help. I’ve been to States I’ve never been to & widen my lil life more than ever.

I think what I find coolest is what I’ve done that was NOT on my New Year’s resolutions. Hehe.

Well I got one month left to finish those odds & ends of the year. I gotta find my New Year’s Resolution list so I can see what maybe I squeeze into the last month. Oooo my zombie novel. It’s been in the back of my mind for months that I haven’t worked on it. Maybe I’ll go hardcore on that….hmm it’s a plan. Okay off to sleep to dream of zombies. 

What’s your resolution from 2010 you’re going to try to get done in December? I’d love to hear! 

 

 

I need a lil bit of luck here...The Condo Ordeal will soon come to an End...I HOPE!

For the past 5 months there has been a thorn in my side because early July I decided to buy my own condo. From DAY 1 it has been a complete and utter disaster. In the last minute of my first attempt to get a mortgage they denied me the loan in the last minute because they couldn't find a home sale in my area of 10% down to compare my place to. THEN the mortgage people decided they weren't going to answer their phones for me for a week or 3. Or answer an email. I got a new mortgage & then the man that was supposed to say "Your Approved" would not answer his phone or email for a week so my future plans sat on a desk for a while...then some more time went by. I've had enough.

After calling the President of Bank of America, yes my mortgage problem is because Bank of America mortgage department in NY is run by complete idiots, we finally got everybody on the phone & this all gotstraightened out. There was no excuse for this taking 5 months to clear when I have a great credit score & have given them EVERY bit of information they needed either that day or the next.

By the end of this week I will get the "Approval" statement & I can finally yes FINALLY get a closing date & move into my new place. I have sooo much stuff that I can't wait to put in my new place. I want to hang up my pale yellow shower curtain, finally have a queen size bed, use my crock pot I stood in line on Black Friday for, & actually be living in my own place.

Now...I need a lil bit of luck that this time when they say it will be resolved by the end of this week that its the TRUTH. *knock on wood* I want to decorate my place for Christmas. I want to finally be able to be happy about this life choice. I want to take that next step in adulthood.

I'll find out more info this week but I'm keeping my fingers crossed, wishing on stars, waiting for 11:11 to get an extra wish in there, & hoping...hoping for it all...Wish Me Luck!!!

Because your mine...I walked the line...

{Hey Everybody I’m back. I made it to everything this holiday & still have a bit of my sanity. I’m going to be posting about my holiday tomorrow. I have another post for today.}

 

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A few days before Thanksgiving a familiar tightness in my heart returned to me. Stress sometimes will give me this uneasy feeling but it was something more, but WHAT was it?? What was giving me this dread in the back of my mind? What was bothering me so greatly?

This Black Friday was the 6 Month anniversary of CJ & mine’s First date. Six months ago…I arrived at the restaurant after circling it for 15 minutes lost.  A cute man stood with a single beautiful red rose by side of the parking lot looking nervous as hell. I walked up to him with a smile from ear to ear. He was the first guy to ever truly ask me out on a date. We tried to pack my 24 years & his 28 years of stories into one night. We didn’t even scratch the surface so I knew I had to see him again. It was so new & fresh that I had to see him again…

That day was something so special to me I told CJ I wanted to do something this past Friday to celebrate. I’ll admit I haven’t many successful relationships so 6 months is HUGE to me. BUT somehow my hints didn’t get through. He told me Happy Anniversary after a reminder & that was it. The weekend got packed with stuff to do every second & none of it included him & I spending any alone time together to celebrate our relationship. I kept hoping he would say ohhh we’ll celebrate tomorrow or the next day or after this will do something ourselves or I love you we should have a date night or ANYTHING that was just the two of us…it never came, he never said a word after. 

I thought I'd maybe get Sunday but he made plans with his friends & was rushing us to watch a movie because of it & I lost it. He made a comment how we don’t fight & I laid the cards on the table. I was upset that he didn’t think our anniversary was important enough to do anything for it. I told him how I was giving him hints, reminded him how I told him repeatedly that I wanted to do something & just because on the day we were busy it didn’t mean I wanted us to forget about it….I know men sometimes just don’t get the picture but I had enough.

The look of “OH SHIT I fucked up” scarred his face for what seemed an hour. A minute went by & he just looked at me & said, “I missed this. I really fucking missed this. I'm sorry Melanie, Ohh shit I'm sorry.” Apparently no one he’s ever dated made a fuss about their anniversary & wanted to celebrate his relationship with them so he forgot how another person could see it as important. I told him how much I loved him & how special he was to me & he apologized for ignoring my hints & me. It wasn’t a fight but an eye-opener. He told me he could be alone but ever since he met me he never wants to be alone again.  

Today I realized the pain stopped in my chest. I decided to write about this to Remember that communication is KEY in a relationship & if you love someone tell them. Let them know that they are important to you & that you want them in your life. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind because the result could be a better more honest relationship. 

Johnny & June Cash

We spent this morning together just the two of us. That’s all I wanted & I’m so happy & relieved I said something. *Letting out the breath I was totally holding*…Whew.

 

 

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone & Good Luck on Black Friday!!!!

Oh boy oh boy the next few days is going to be insane. I got my plans all set to see everyone & I’ll be making my pies tonight! I love when the whole house smells of turkey too. Hehe. My mom makes a goooood turkey. I hope this is a good Thanksgiving. =) I’m going to be signing off until Friday. Yes I will be in the hustle & bustle of the Friday AM sales. I don’t need much so it should be too too bad I crazy! I hope! Lol. I love blogging so much & I’m so thankful for all of you so I’ll be thinking of some random things to post when I get back and a giveaway (Shhh!!) =)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!

Here are some of older posts in case you missed them to hold you over until I get back! Be back Soon!

Pumpkin Cheesecake Post

Christmas Tree Cupcakes

Does One Size Fit All? The Lacie Thong Review

Girl You Can Take Home To Mom Debate

Apparently You CAN'T Eat 44 Strips a Bacon??

I’ve actually recently found that using BLOGLOVIN is so much easier than the Google Dashboard reader. If your on Bloglovin, you can follow me there too!



Here, There, Everywhere this Holiday Season!! But First Year with a lil something special...

I love the holidays but the stress is starting to get to me. The holidays are never a relaxation time for me. Never has been. I’ve gotten used to living in a car basically on Thanksgiving & Christmas but this year it’s going to be very different indeed. I will have another person with me to join in on the madness & add another set of family members that need to be seen on these chosen days. CJ…my dear. The only saving grace is that my family & his family are all in the same vicinity. Sort of.

I’m lucky enough to have both sets of grandparents & they happen to all be in their 80’s so there is no NOT seeing them on the holidays. I have to. One grandpa in Connecticut is 88. There is no ifs, ands, or buts on making an appearance there. Then there is CJ’s family to see for dessert which will be about an hour from my grandparents but it’s back in NY so that’s cool. After that I will have to go see my other set of grandparents. Hopefully I’ll only have to eat 2 settings of Thankgiving dinners. I know I’m going to be turkeyed out tho soon after the first set. But the big thing is to see as many people as we can before it gets too late.

Okay so just writing this is making my head spin & my back hurt more. I think I threw out my back again. Ever since I turned 25 to the day even I’ve had back problems. It’s probably the changing weather or the stress is building up on me. I don’t know but I just took a vicodin so it might calm down.

Anyone else Stressed yet over the Holiday Madness?

I’m finding myself constantly clicking websites for the Black Friday Sales, making lists for gifts, checking travel plans & times for what part of meals, & trying to find an outfit appropriate to see both my family & CJ’s & I think I’m forgetting to enjoy it. This is the FIRST YEAR EVER I’m actually going to have somebody that wants to be with me on the holidays & I’m running around like a chicken without a head. I’ll never forget the Drummer Boy being mad at me when I bought him a X-mas present after we had dated a month. How sad. CJ is nothing like all the others & I want to spend Thanksgiving & Christmas with him without the extra hassels.

So much to do….2 more days of work too, thankfully. I just gotta breathe & take it slow. Remember to enjoy this time…I’m going to try. =)

Where are you going for your Holiday on Thursday? DO you have a whole bunch of people to see on Thanksgiving?



It's the lil moments that count...

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This weekend was full of moments that if I could I would want to relive them over  & over again. That’s what makes life so precious. Those lil things that tug at your heart & make it smile…

 ~Taking a West Coast Swing class with your boyfriend & actually completing the steps. Seeing the determination on CJ’s face to learn the new moves was awesome! I was so impressed. I’ll admit the thought creeped into my head of maybe just maybe I might dance with him like this on our maybe future wedding day...

~Being all snuggled up with CJ in bed & then in the middle of the night feeling a lil sleepy kiss on my shoulder that went straight to my toes.

~Early Christmas shopping in the mall NOT by yourself, but with someone who is there merely because 

you’re there & wanted to spend the day with you.

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~A lil kitty snuggling between CJ & me in the morning just to be petted by both of us.

~Shopping for all the ingredients for Shrimp Tacos & then cooking them all together. It was so yummy we sorta sat in silence just enjoying it.

~Cleaning behind the oven & finding a sea of cat toys & a penny from 1938. Hehe. I hope it hadn’t been there THAT long.

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~Sitting at TGIF’s watching the end of the NJ Jets game together & CJ turning to me saying, “I just love you so much.”

~And realizing that for the first time ever that I have everything I ever wanted all wrapped up in a 6ft man with dragon tattoos. It took me years to find him & I’m don't think I can ever let him go. =)

What was your Favorite Lil Moment of the weekend?

This week is going to be a whirlwind for everyone. Baking, shopping, eating, traveling, and rushing around. Hopefully we’ll have lil moments of happiness to enjoy & tell. I hope so very much. Can’t wait!

I Throw My Hands Up in the Air Sometimes Singing Ay-Oh…Gotta Let go…

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Ever feel like you had a successful blogging week? I don’t know but this week I feel like I learned something from all your wonderful comments. I’ve gone all over the place with the subject category so I’m happy the response was good. Thank you very much! Sometimes I honestly feel like I’m in a “Pin the tail on the Donkey” game with the blindfold stuck on my eyes. It’s hard to see a situation for what it truly is when your knee deep in it. So you’ll need a lil help. Thank you for giving me that lil push.

Also my happy lil Christmas trees Cupckes! Christmas Tree Cupcake Post It was soo much fun making those cupcake wonders! I’m going to miss that class. My mom was an excellent teacher. Hopefully when I move into my new place I will be able to make something new like that every week!

This week has also brought a few things to my attention I have never done that I have to do before this year is up!

1.) Have a Macaroon! I’ve never had one before. I drool over almost every post that features these because I’ve never had the delight of eating one. There is a bakery shop by Cj’s house that makes them. I must make a stop there soon!



2.)Watch “The Notebook”. Somehow I missed this movie every single time it’s been on TV or when it was in the theaters. I have to sit down and watch it. I know the story but I have to see it nonetheless.

3.)Pick up my Zombie Novel again. I began writing one last year & have almost forgotten about it. I need to dust off the cover of my lil cherry notebook & begin to write again. I miss it.

I'll got on those things ASAP! Along with them this weekend I’m also going to a Ballroom Dancing Class with CJ & some of his friends! It should be so much fun. I also have a Christening to go to this Sunday. It should be an interesting weekend! Cheers Everyone!

“Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels.”