Honestly last night I found my New Years resolutions & frankly I'm disappointed at them. I'm not happy with them because I didn't do any of them. lol. It was the standard drop 15 pounds, drop the Mess boy, if I'm upset tell people don't hold it all in, find a nice guy to be with, & Be true to myself. In the past few months with certain things I seem to have lost this mindset & just crawled back to the past hoping it will change.
Unfortunately one of the definitions of insanity is repeating the same thing over & over expecting a different result. No matter how times I add 2 + 2 it's going to equal 4...not 5. But as I've said before, reconizing the need for change is the first step of the battle & the battle has more than begun with me.
Oh yes my battle has begun. I'm on the horse & jousting through the remainder of 2009 with some power. I do gotta say tho that I am proud of myself for finally finshing college. It took me 6 years, 4 colleges, & *cough* a ridicolous amount of money & time & crap. That's probably one thing I've thankful of 2009 for...
Anywho, the point of this post is the future. In part of my straightening out process in the beginning of this blog I put alot of my little momentos into boxes. Those pictures I never want to lose, movie tickets, train tickets, receipts of nights out I want to rememeber, matchbooks from diners I've been to, I.D.s from conventions, concert tickets, birthday cards...you name it I keep it. I'm a qualified pack rat, remember? Well the other day I bought another box & I'm not going to put the past inside it...I'm going to leave this box for 2010.
I can't wait to see what I'll go do. I wonder what concerts I'll go to, what conventions, what random things I'll see, who I'll meet, where I'll go, Ooooo I'm excited!!! I compiled a list of things I want to do in 2010. It's a small list of actually do-able things. I will try to do them over the course of the new year.
1. This will be the year that I move out of my parents' house.
2. Get a new reliable salary-based job with benefits.
3. Get over the Mess, my Brown-Eyed Mr. Big...I'm trying.
4. Drop those 15 pounds.
5. Buy the Victoria Secret "Lacie" thong & see if "One Size fits all".
6. Meet Mr. Platform...gotta find out when the rescheduled party is.
7. Try doing small goals.
8. Find friends that I can trust...that was a big problem I had in 2009. (I lost 2 best friends due to drama)
9. Go on an actual vacation...Being home from a surgery does not count as a vacation.
10. Save some actual money each month.
11. Get Respect in my life. "R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me." - Aretha
12. Go on an open call for modeling. I mentioned the Keen Agency. I will go to a meeting.
13. Go to New York City as much as I can, especially the "Tim Burton" exhibit at the MoMu.
14. Learn Italian or French...I know Latin so it wouldn't be that hard.
15. Return to my scrapbooking & collage making I used to do.
16. Continue to get my certified C.A.D. (Computer-Assisted-Drawing) license.
17. Try to have 365 days of smiles. Find 1 thing each day to make smile.
18. Have someone to kiss on New Years for 2011.
19. Get back some of the friends I've lost in 2009...Maybe they've grown up enough.
20. Write my zombie novel. I have to sit & write it & I'm giving myself a year deadline. I will do it with my Writer's Groups help.
It seems like a long list, but in a year I will definitely try to do most of them. Well I'm going to be crossing my fingers & hoping for the best!!! The thought of new always makes me happy. I can hardly wait!! *Crossing my fingers* Wish me Luck!!