Okay...Here it goes....
My birthday was 5 days ago, and honestly all I have done is sleep. I didn't even dream...It was too deep of a sleep. How boring. I wonder if thats how Sleeping Beauty felt when she woke up? I've actually had a dream once where I was arranging clothes by size in small, medium, and large...and thought Omg please let me wake up!! What is this??? lol. hmmm.....
I'm at work, listening to the rain fall, and all I can think about it is the carousel I saw last Saturday. My mother took me to see Julie & Julia (very good movie btw), and then I noticed that in the Palisades Mall in West Nyack, NY they're taking down the carousel in the Food Court. It looked so sad in it's dismembered state. Only a few horses and the lovers' chair remained. How apropiate though for this time in my life. I imagine that's what it's like to be 24. I'm an adult who needs to grow up, take down the unicorn posters, but there is still a few notes of childhood playing and dreams of a perfect love left. I will post pictures in the next blog.
Well now that it was my birthday I promised myself I would straighten my life out. While driving around at lunch the thought came that if my life was a movie this would be the beginning where you see a frousy girl doing her everyday tasks and some moving emotional song would be playing in the background. Perhaps something by Jewel, Alanis Morissette or Natasha Beddingfield. The potential is limitless for where this story could go. ( I don't even know where it's going...)
I always feel as though I'm waiting for something but for some odd reason I'm on the wrong platform or walked into the wrong store or walked the wrong different path. Maybe I'll find what I'm looking for or it'll find it's way to me. If GPS locating systems were free and had emotional detectors and everyone had one would people be able to find each other better? For example it could tell that I'm supposed to be at that street corner because a future best friend would be lingering there....or that Im supposed to sit at that stool in that bar to share an intimate conversation with the dreamy guy whose plans fell through and needed some company? But I guess the not knowing is all part of the fun of life. But maybe I'm on the right path and it merely just has cloudy reception today.
This age is hitting me hard. It doesn't seem it, but I'm actually excited to be older. I still live with my parents but it was ideal when I was still in college. I want to find an apartment and I absolutely cant wait to decorate. Every time I walk into Home Goods (Its like Pier 1 Imports) I just drool at the possibilites. Having a little china tea set, a mini cupcake holder (reminder learn how to bake!), those throw pillows that add the spice of color to the room, the decorative mirror, and all those fancy little server plates with the designs that Ohhhhh tease me so in the stores. I've been buying those little photo storage boxes and trying to organize. I have one with these little designer shoes painted on it that I keep my hair stuff in. I cant wait to have wall space to put up paintings. I love Van Goh and Degas and impressionist paintings. Like I said I seem to always be waiting....and waiting for an apartment is driving me nuts.
Ooo speaking of hair stuff...this is a nice way to end this today... I bought a little cheap checkered white and black headband in Forever21 the other day and I added it to my outfit today and it just made me feel like I had a little piece of flare. A little touch of feminity that made me smile. It's really hard sometimes to make yourself smile at yourself. Oh yeah..Need to work on straightening out my self-esteem too.
Tonight I'm going to wake up and try to get back in the groove of cleaning and straightening out so I can maybe sit and make a collage with my mom sometime soon. I make collages. My mother is in an Altered Art Group that meets and they gossip and make such beautiful creations. They were nice enough to invite me to a few meetings and one of my mini boxes I have there is all stuff to make something.
So here's a good starting point. Clean the room...so I can begin this story.
Quick end thought: Shakira's new song, "She Wolf" is amazing and motivotional. Give it a listen.