Monday, October 5, 2009

"How can I trust you...with my heart?"

My title is the a lyric from the above band, "Dommin." Here is there website link for them. Dommin They are one of my current obsessions. I really love underground non-mainstream bands. Hmmmmm. How to describe their sound? Well they are kinda like a gothic industrial rock lounge singer band. Yeah I wouldn't think those 4 things could go together but when you throw in amazing lyrics it just works. The singer's voice is so melodious. Oh did I mention they're really hot guys and soo soo nice??? I have a guilty pleasure of liking brown eyed guys who wear a lot of black. I met them when I went to see The Birthday Massacre last April.

This is me and the band, Dommin:

I'm a tad bit short, don't ya think?

Well the reason for this post is that I bought tickets today for their upcoming concert in NYC on October 20th. I can't wait!!! I like the sound of the singers voice. The catch is I didn't buy just one ticket. The other ticket is for the Mess(my brown-eyed Mr.Big). The awesome girl at the blog, Carpe Diem, gave me an idea from her last comment to do "The Mess Files". This will be the first post. See I right now am completely in the dark as to what is going on with him because I've tried to hang out with him twice(which in 2 weeks I don't think that's nagging) and have texted I miss you after 12 days of not seeing him or any real contact. He will answer but when I say hey lets chill I won't get an answer or a follow-up. This is unfortunately standard with him. I'm nauseatingly used to it by now but I swear I have a few grey hairs I didn't have yesterday.

Today was no exception. Haven't heard from him since last Wednesday when he didn't respond to "hey lets do something tonight" and today I get a text of, "Did you get the Dommin tickets yet? I can't wait to go with u." Ummm....hmmmm...this is where I draw a blank. My mind starts racing and I'm like Oh Oh maybe he'll appreciate me??? Maybe he will see that he likes going to concerts and things with me?? Maybe if I left him completely he would ask me to stay??? Maybe it'll be one of those good days where I feel like him and I are the only two people in the world and he'll give me one of those mind erasing kisses I love so much???... But I dunno. I texted him, "I bought the tickets! Can't wait to go with you too! Miss ya!". But no response.. It's almost like he's one of those drawing boards that you can draw on but there's a lil lever on the bottom that erases the drawing so you can start again. Nothing seems to add up.

I wish those hearts would stay together, but it really appears that he just erases the drawing the second I leave his sight. That is the perfect analogy. Also Dommin's hit song, "My Heart Your hands". The chorus reads, "How can I trust you with my heart?" How could I ever trust him from the stunts he's pulled? Ack. I could go on for hours about this. I'll stop here.

Regardless of the Mess, I'm gunna enjoy myself at this concert regardless of him being with me there or not. Maybe one of the band members would ask me to dance? Omg I'd be in heaven. *Dreaming*

Here are the lyrics to that song if your interested:

Dommin - "My Heart Your Hands"

I can feel the knife carving your love in my heart

You promised you wouldn't harm a hair on this fragile body, no that's not fair

But how can I trust you?

How can I trust you with My Heart, in Your Hands closing your grip!

I'm so afraid that you'll leave me cold with my heart in your hands closing....

Try to sit here with closed eyes

It's not possible

Cause how do I know that you'll be good doing the things that you know you should

Yeah, how can I trust you?

Also here is their music video for this song. Check them out. It's been on repeat for days on my computer. =)

"Til Tomorrow."


Melanie's Randomness said...

I write so lil of what actually goes on. Just tidbits, so maybe I'm getting lost in translation. It's the chemistry & the shared history and every good day we've had. He's also one of my best friends and he switches from friend, boyfriendish, to nothing then back through the list again. I really wish I could watch everything that's going on from outside because I could see how ridicolous it really is. Maybe I'm a creature of habit. Or maybe my refusal to see the bigger picture is my still lingering insecurities and immaturities. It does seem hopeless. I'll think about what you said Zek.

Barry said...

Hi Melanie,

How old is this guy? It seems pretty obvious to me he's stringing you along; it doesn't show much consideration to you when he won't acknowledge your messages.

Have you two ever sat down just to talk things out so you could tell him how you feel? I know we don't always have to have all the answers but maybe the relationship you both have needs to be defined. This sounds like an emotional rollercoaster for you. Maybe I'm wrong.

It seems you're trying pretty hard to make him appreciate you. It would be interesting to see what would happen if you broke contact or showed interest in someone else, but I wouldn't expect that to happen. I know how hard relationships can be, I've been through a lot.

You said, "I really wish I could watch everything that's going on from outside because I could see how ridiculous it really is." Well, first of all I wouldn't necessarily call it ridiculous; things can get complicated between two people and our emotions will keep us from making rational decisions sometimes. I know. But to me the fact you made that statement shows you realize you're spinning your wheels.

I haven't read your whole blog yet but if you really want to get a better picture of this situation I'd suggest going over your history, and re-reading any posts you've made about him to see if you notice any pattern.

Ideally, what would you like out of this relationship? Do you think someone you refer to as 'The Mess' would make a good long-term partner?

Ice Queen said...

The Mess sounds like a douche. I would tell you to get rid of him, but I know that if I were in your place I would totally stick around too. I guess all I can say is that eventually something will happen one way or the other.

Melanie's Randomness said...

Ya know your all right. It's really complicated this whole thing and I wish I could write out all 3 years of stuff that has gone on. I've actually dated other people while he was dating other girls but I guess it's the oh we eventually seem to be coming back to each other in our lives one way or another that I'm trying to see if it means more. He is a douche, he is stringing me along, and I really think I need to just leave. The thing is I know he'd just let me go if I left. So I'm trying to hold out to see what happens next kinda stupidly I now think. But yeah, I think I need to slap myself back into reality.

Simply Colette said...

Glad you get to see a band you really enjoy! Sounds fun. :) Have a great day hun!

Jennifer Fabulous said...

I'm the worst person to be giving relationship advice. My boyfriend and I have been on and off before, so I know what it's like waiting around for someone, hoping it will work out or amount to something...sigh.
In any case, I hope he eventually responds and you have fun at the concert, with or without him. You deserve it. Don't let him ruin your week/month/life. You're a pretty girl, so I have a feeling soon you will meet a hot awesome guy and Mess will wake up and realize what a douche he was for ignoring you. But then it will be too late for him...muwhahaha!

Melanie's Randomness said...

Oh no??? Hmm..Okay why are comments being deleted?? Is anyone else having this problem?? Because 2 of them aren't showing?? =( Im sorry guys, I'm really confused here. I've had problems with my followers not showing either?? I'm gunna post on blogger help.

In response to this blog I wrote. THank you all for your words. He is a brat. I know. And when all of you are giving me the motivation I need to leave. I think sometimes you need to hear and read how awful it seems so you like "Get the Picture" sorta speak. So thank you. Very much. I really don't even know what I want out this boy anymore. I have to sit down and really figure this stuff out. Thanks again

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

My first instinct? He's using you. Or like someone else said, stringing you along.

You deserve better. But like Ice Queen said, if I were in your position, I'd probably be doing exactly the same thing you are.

Bottom line - you gotta follow your heart. Trust your instincts. If you have any doubts at all, cut him loose - take a girlfriend or just a friend-friend with you instead so you can truly enjoy the concert without the wondering. :)

OceanDreams said...

Hey love, I agree with what the other ladies said. You deserve better and never believe that you don't, not for one moment. I love your new header because I love Nightmare Before Christmas, such a good movie to watch during Halloween time!


Related Posts with Thumbnails