Tuesday, October 13, 2009

No Outlet.

It came to my realization that I'm actually at a few Dead Ends in my life, I think. However this maybe because I couldn't eat or drink today for 6 hours & your brain can get a lil fuzzy. You may think you can be like, "Oh it's not that bad, it's only 6 hours"...Um I was wrong. I have a really big headache. I had to go today for an ultrasound of my gall bladder. I might have aggravated it or might have gall stones or I'm not sure what yet. I couldn't eat or drink for the test. They unfortunately didn't even give me any info they just took pictures so I'll know eventually if I'll have to get it removed or just watch my diet. *Waiting* I've been eating so many veggies lately from all of this I'm starting to feel like a bunny. lol.

Which brings me back to the dead end. Have you ever sat at your desk at work and say to yourself, "What am I doing here?? This job is a dead end?" Or have you ever sat staring at a guy that some part of you loves but in that moment where he is being an asshole you say once again, "What am I doing here?? He will never change. This is such a dead end!" Or looked at your messy room & say "Woa I gotta get my own place."? I did all 3 of those yesterday.

I know I gotta wait to move out a lil while longer & I am totally okay with that fact. But the other 2...You have to change things to move on. Sometimes things need to happen to make you realize "Oh I have to do something different to change this." Like today, I Had to go get my gall bladder checked out so I can get better. It's not just going to miraculously get better. Like I didn't know olives & coffee (yes, coffee) & soda & fatty foods can upset your gall bladder. I, no matter what the verdict is, will have to change to my diet. Well if I don't go out & look for a new job, one is not going to fall into my lap. If I don't let it go or confront the Mess, nothing is ever going to change. Ironically he was mean to me, then called me the next day to see how the doctors went like he cared? The confusion of that boy alone is a dead end. lol. So, I'll be needing the motivation to push myself forward.

I'll admit I was the kid in college who always waited to the last minute to finish the term papers & essays. The deadline made me do it, sorta speak. I kept putting it off but I knew I'd do it eventually because I had to finish it. With my job, I've reached that point where I need to do something else. With the Mess I need to either have a fight, not be scared of it, or I need to just walk away. So perhaps if I set deadlines then I'll HAVE to sort things through.

Have any of you tried that? Setting deadlines to help you do something??

I'm going to take off tomorrow of work to sleep a bit & put my head back on straight. The stress of not knowing about my gall bladder is driving me a lil crazy. I had surgery to remove fibroids from my right breast a year ago so I've been through these hectic, "not knowing" days before. It still is stressful. All I can say with that is, if you feel pain anywhere in your body GO TO THE DOCTOR!! I can't tell people that enough.

To lighten this lil post I wanted to throw in some Halloween spirit. It's ridiculous that stores now have Christmas stuff up already!!!!! So here's a dash of Halloween. I collect "Nightmare before Christmas" stuff and I was lucky to find these two gems for $5 each. It's Jack Skellington with his figuring out Christmas table play-set & an Oogie Boogie Plush doll that is uber soft!!!! =)

Oh Don't Forget to Enter my Giveaway!! Here's the link to the post.

My Dirty Dancing Eye Make-up Compact Giveaway!!

It ends tomorrow night!!


Pixel Wild Child said...

Oh girl, I hope everything is fine with your gallbladder and the results are going to be good. The most important thing is our health...
About the dead-ends, it is funny beacause they seem to come all together isn't it? There are times of change that leave your life and routine upside down and a new start comes up... maybe you are close to one of those! well, they are most of the times very positive.. let's see! ;O)
Kisses hun, keep strong! ;O)

Scientific Housewife said...

I sometimes think of my job as a dead end but luckily I work at a place that always has doors opening in other departments. I actually like my job, I just get paid too little for having a bacherlor's degree but it pays the bills.

Ice Queen said...

I swear we're the same person. I ask myself all three of those questions everyday. It's hard when nothing is forcing you to move on. I guess this is growing up.

Jennifer Fabulous said...

Oh no! I'm sorry about your gall bladder. Waiting is always the hardest part and can literally drive you nuts. I remember when doctors found a lump in my mom's breast and it took a week to get the results, only to find out it was benign. It was such a relief, but that one week before had been hell. I was miserable with worry, as was my mom. What a nightmare.
I hope everything with you is okay. And your situation is kind of a wake-up call to me because my diet is so poor. I am addicted to Coke, eat lots of salty foods, and I love olives. I need to take better care of myself too...
There are delicious ways of eating veggies and eating healthy, we just have to find the recipes. Lol. Do you like hummus? That is one of my favorite foods that is healthy for you. Or, vegetable lasagna. I should do more research on this and get back to you. :) I think it might be kind of fun, finding dinners and snacks that are delicious but also really good for you. It will be like a treasure hunt!
Oh gosh, I can also relate to the "dead end" aspect as well. My newspaper is sliding downhill fast, so we are all sliding backwards with it, instead of forwards. There is no room for me to grow at this company, which really sucks. And then I'm living with the love of my life who has major health issues (but no money or health insurance) and is not anywhere near ready for marriage. So, so complicated.
But I think that we are at the stage where we are facing so many dead ends because we need to make a lot of turns. The twenties are really a time to re-evaluate life and find out who we are and make decisions that put us on the right path...at least that's how I feel. Sometimes I just feel so lost. :(
I'm glad that you're confronting those issues though! That is the first step...
Ooh and I love that Halloween photos. :) They are already playing Christmas songs at my nearby grocery store. I kind of feel like Halloween is over or something. Sigh.
Anyway, I have written you a book it seems. Lol. I hope you have a great day!!

Barry said...


Collectively these problems can be overwhelming, but separately they can be overcome. I hope you can look at your situation objectively and keep your chin up.

DesBisoux said...

mel. can i call you mel? cuz i feel i know you. or maybe you know me. so just call me mag.
can we please go out and have a drink one day?
seriously i ask myself the EXACT same questions all the time!!! isn't that EFFFing crazy???
all 3 of them the same day plus health issue though, i think you're pushing it love!
but you def right about dead line. i've always done essays and presentation the night before. even when i knew about it months ahead. and you're so right...i still do that in my life!
i'm gonna change flat soon and that should make a heck of a difference in my life.
the job...well i send cv, went to couple of interviews but don't be too hard with yourself, obviously just now isn't the best of time!
and for the mess... i SOOOOO know how you feel.
you know how i told you that i cut the by off? well yesterday he was talking to my bestie and asking her if she had spoken to me recently and if i was ok. she said yes that she spoke to me everyday. he saidoh ok...i'll write to her in couple of days.
he hasn't even noticed i cut him off girl!!!
oh men!... i am f***ing useless when it comes to them!
on a total differnet subject, go and check out it ain't easy to be cheesy. there's a link on the side of my blog. Alicia's posted a you tube video of a live artist...i know you're gonna LOVE it. it's amazing!
*huge hugs*
mag xxx

OceanDreams said...

With endings come new beginnings - why don't your journal what you want to change and bring it into effect? You can do it love!


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