The tight rope walker...

I'm definitely going to have to do a video blog soon because Thank You to me in words just isn't doing enough. Thank you everyone for your comments, they've helped so much. I've been trying my hardest to keep myself busy and of course when your walking on a tight rope time goes at a snail's pace. Seriously yesterday was a million years long!!!! I even tried to meet someone new...but that was a disaster. Thankfully I didn't even introduce myself to the guy yet before I saw the "kiss" so I quickly shucked it off...yeah let me explain.

A guy had messaged me a while back about the town I live in, that his band was playing at a local bar. The night he was supposed to play got canceled due to the weather so the re-schedule date was this Saturday. I put on my new shoes, a nice tastefully low shirt, make-up, & had my new french manicure to show off. I spotted him quickly but he was with his whole band so I watched him for a bit. I was invited to this event on facebook so he knew I might have been there. Well...he seemed cute, a lil short, but he was the lead singer so of course he was dressed nice. I was trying to figure out my game plan to approach him when a girl came in. She went up to him & then he kissed her, hugged her, and his eyes lit up after this. I don't know who she was or whatever but yeahhhh I choose to leave the bar. It was easy because his back was to the door. I forgot for a split second that he was a musician & wouldn't have fan-girls all over him...I was quickly reminded. Oh well. I'm happy I hesitated in saying hi. Next...

That was a downer but I went to the local brewery & met some chill people there, one of which was a magician so he made me smile. He's got a girlfriend but he did tricks all night for me. It helped. But, I really feel lost lately. My mind is just running a marathon of the past & it's bugging me out. I think what my mind is trying to do is search for that good station like on a radio...search for those times when I was genuinely happy. But I will have to wait and see like everything else.

I'm one of those people that when I have to be serious I can be serious in an instant & when I can just sit back & have fun I will rock this town. I can't wait for tomorrow be over so I will know things & can actually think straight. I feel okay & I'm not scared for tomorrow but my mind is just floating everywhere. It'll be okay. I'm going to head to bed so tomorrow will come faster.