There is no easy way to come out and tell people serious news without a shock factor. So I have something serious to share, I don't know if there would even be an appropriate picture to post. Okay...here it goes.
I found out something that has my head in total knots. I found out today that I may have a cyst in my right breast. The initial doctor said its probabaly a cyst. Now I've had fibroids the size of golf balls removed from this breast a year & a half ago & had my gall bladder removed last October so I'm used to this. I don't want to write this like a robot, because I'm upset. I don't want to just state facts. I've cried all day. The "what ifs" are killing me right now. However the doctor said "Cancer doesn't hurt". When he pushed down on my boob I was in pain. Spasming pain. It might be another fibroid, I don't know. I'm freaking out a bit.
This post is a little choppy because I'm just in a very all over the place mood & it's been one of those days. I'm calling the doctor tomorrow to set up a sonogram & a biopsy. My doctor said "Don't Worry, you'll be fine". If he was thinking anything else he would tell me. He delivered me almost 24 years ago I really hope he wouldn't lie to me.
I've been through this before but its the not knowing. Cancer doesn't run in my family & I've had fibroids before...they might tell me they might just watch it that I won't need surgery or I might have to breast surgery again on the same breast. I dunno. It just. I don't know how to write this. I'm being paranoid & mulling over a thousand things in my head but I'm just upset. I'll find out when my doctor appointment is. Things just get real realistic sometimes & life hits you like a hurricane. Being in your twenties is hard. Sometimes physically hard & mentally crushing.
Okay I'm going to stop writing now because I need to clear my head. I'll be around to everyone's blogs as usual & I will update on how I'm doing & my usual randomness & I don't understand this & the crazy things I do. I tried to make this week a happy week, drama free, but this is part of my story. My rollercoaster story. It's always something like Gildna Radner said. okay...just breathe.