The past week has just been a blur really with all the health issues so I think its about time for some cleaning. I should just admit that my bedroom will never be clean any of the 365 days of the year...sometimes 366. It might be tidy for an hour or so but it never lasts. That's cool, I've come to terms with my "hoarding" tendencies. When I mean cleaning I mean getting rid of the junk that is my head. As I've said before I lack closure in some of my past relationships...well I'm going to say goodbye to them here so it's at least said somewhere.
Looking back I realized I've only dated one guy who wasn't a musician. I've heard of patterns but this is ridiculous. I think of myself as the Movie girl...the Movie girl + the Music guy is like oil & water. They will mix for a while...but eventually they will separate. Huh...yeah that's pretty much sums it up. Well its time for goodbyes. I'm done with musicians. Those boys have sang their songs & moved on...now its time for me to do the same.
#1: Chris: 2003': I'm not sorry I helped you all those times because you had no else to see how sick you became & sit with your mother & your the only one I'm really officially over cuz you dumped me face to face. For that thank you, but I will never be able to listen to bongo drums again without cringing. Oh yeah & I know you hid them in your microwave whenever I came to your dorm room. Bad hiding spot dude.
#2: Drummer Boy: 07' That night we met you were a different person then every other day I spent with you. You were a great kisser but you left, then tried to come back. You have confused the hell out of me with your sudden return after 2 years. But even after 2 years your still the same. I can't sit in silence in a car just listening to music. I like to talk, I like to switch things up, I like to laugh, I like different music...and your just too much like a light bulb that burnt itself out. Please don't call me again.
#3: Spanish Boy w/ the Gray Eyes 09': Bad nickname for him but it fits. Was as fast to start as quick to end. Your excuses were ridicolous. The fact that I had to tell you, "I don't know if your going to tell me your going to save a cat from a tree next" is sad. When you called me the wrong name at a very bad time I almost wished I knew what band you sang for so I could go to the concert and scream the wrong band name up at ya. You deserve it you creep.
#4: The Gone New Guy: 10' I needed you. I needed you more than you'll ever know. That night when you kissed me after all the chaos of the rain was perfect. When Tom Petty's "Refugee" played on the list you made me make on your computer I thought I was done running. But when I found out you returned to your bad habits & the nice guy act was a mask...I just can't stay. You can yell & be a prick to me all you want but I'm done. You were a waste of a perfectly good black garter belt.
Well those 4 musicians are soo done. I mentioned the other day that my mind has been tuning like a radio station through my memories to find the good ones. I found the good ones...those 4 above are not in any of those. I can't erase the memories but I can let it go. One step at a time. There it goes...like music notes in the wind....
You would be here with me...." - Evanescence, "Call me when your sober"