Sunday, April 4, 2010
I wish I could make it better between us...
Have you ever had the relative that you just wish you had a better relationship with them? Now just to let you guys know that I'm an only child & I have a very small immediate family. Counting my mother & father's side there's only 13 of us. I know that's not a lot of people, so I desperately cling to the relationships I have with my 2 cousins. My boy cousin is 25 & my girl cousin is 21. I wish I had a better relationship tho with her.
On Easter Sunday today I got to see my lil girl cousin. I will never know anyone more weird. Im sorry but for someone who also has a small family she is just really odd. She never says "Hello" anytime I see her. She didn't hug anyone but our grandparents when she came in today. One time I actually went to hug her & she backed away from me & ridicolously said, "Oh I don't hug people." People??? People????? When did your first cousin become people??? She always tries to put herself above me in status & does the "Oh you have no idea what my college is like". I went to college for 6 years...I think I know a few things.
Basically I think I'm just really upset that the lil girl I remember going to her Baptism when I was 3 years old & would want to view her as my lil sister just doesn't seem to like me or want to have anything to do with me.
I just don't understand why she acts so distant. She talks like I don't know her & like her mom isn't my Aunt Mary. About 2 years ago I had fibroids removed from my right breast & the SAME day I had surgery she was in the SAME hospital getting her foot checked for something. Did she come up the ONE floor to see me or give me a hug or anything? Nope. She never even wished me well. She did when I had my gall bladder out but the other surgery...she was there & couldn't find the 2 minutes time for me. What the fuck is up with that?
Easter was good, I saw some family, but that pit of my stomach with my cousin just hurt a lil more. I hugged her with my initiation of it & said "Hey" & I got no response of even a "Hi" back. Ugh.
I want to try and be her friend but I just don't know how? I tried getting her to go to lunch or something in the past but she basically screamed my ear off about how bad college was. I didn't even get a word in.
For those of you with younger siblings or younger cousins...How do you connect with them?? It's not like she's 10 & I'm too old. She's 21 & I'm 24. Not much of an age difference but there is a Gap the size of an elephant. I'm really at a loss. Just a loss as to what to do.
I wish that she would be part of my wedding party one day but frankly it seems like it would be a chore to her, not a treat. Maybe when we get older, we'll be closer?? I dunno. One can always hope.