Monday, April 19, 2010

I got a mind for business...and a bod for sin.


The title is actually my favorite quote from the movie, "Working Girl" staring Melanie Griffith. Now I wish I had her beautiful office that's got a lot of employees, a secretary, a window to look out of if I chose so, & can wear suit dresses to work. But alas I have an okay paying job with 5 men who are sports nuts & can actually be quite rude sometimes when it comes to the "TOPICS" of conversation. They can't mention Marisa Tomei without some sexual comment that frankly I don't need to hear or know that when they are standing at the urinal the wallpaper looks like racing horses.

Anywho today was an interesting day in this office where if I had 2 more men working there I'd literally be Snow White. The bosses were out & the older gentleman who works there was also out so it was just me & the 2 guys who are also my age. We were talking & they asked me a question that has frankly been bugging me for all day. They asked me,

"So Mel, don't take offense of this, but are you girly outside the office? Ya know when your chilling with guys you like or are you like this?"

I don't know if I'm hurt by this comment or just dumbfounded that they really don't notice me at all. Now I go to work at 9am, I wake up at 8am, I always have eye-liner on, I have eye-shadow, sometimes lipstick, I get manicures, I do wear my hair up alot in a messy bun, I wear earrings, I sometimes wear boots, um...i wear colored shirts & jeans & sneakers because there isn't a dress code( meanwhile they wear sweat pants, I know, it drive me nuts), & I usually have a lil bit of cleavage to my shirts. Hey I'm a 36D how can you not notice them. I think I'm girly. I don't ya know talk about girly things like my period, my inability to get over the mess, the fact that my nails are chipped is bugging me, or that I think i forgot to shave my legs but I think I'm girly...but I guess not??

I seriously am just meeting the crappiest of people lately. What do they expect me to walk into work dressed as? This:


Or wear huge bows, chew gum all the time, or be like "Omg my hair is totally like frizzy out!!!" or sing a kesha song all day long or dress like Paris Hilton?? I guess I am upset about their comment. What do they expect from me when all they talk about is sports, movies, & the racing horses on the walls?? I'm going to give them generic answers & not flaunt my body in their faces because its a work place & I'm not really interested in either of them THAT way?

It's messed up. I told them that I try to be just myself & water down the girly stuff because they really can't relate to some things. They went "Oh okay". I guess I need to put more effort into how I look at work if the 2 guys my age are basically calling me not girly & there is a kinda cute guy upstairs...Oh no I wonder what he thinks of me??? But I never chill with my co-workers outside the office so they really don't see me on the weekends. I dress up, put more make-up on, I hope act girly? I guess this something else to put on my To-Do List. Be more girly.


For the ladies that read my blog: What do you do a lil extra to make yourself seem extra girly each day?

For the men that read my blog: What are some things you notice about girls that make you think of them as girly? (Apparently make-up isn't one them =( )

26 comments:

Kelly said...

I'm exactly the same! I work with all men and am treated like one of the boys! Sometimes I think I can be too 'capable' at home and in my last relationship ended up doing everything! I think I'm pretty balanced though as everything I like outside work is 'girly' Secretly I would love to be a housewife!!!

Alicia said...

oh lady don't let it bother you too much! i think something as simple as wearing a little perfume reminds them you're a lady!! simple and subtle!

Firebolt said...

Awwwww Mel ..

I don't think you should bother yourself about their definition of girly and try and alter your appearance just for that!

Just be you =)

Why should it have to matter what they think about your 'girly' quotient.. it's nothing to be proud of, anyways =P

Melissa Blake said...

Hmmm, right now, I'm really into vintage jewelry. LOVE it! :)

Inspiration in Italy said...

I used to work in an office mainly run by men...actually COMPLETELY with men for a while until I recruited a girlfriend of mine to come in for an interview. It was obviously unfair how they treated me. For example, my boss told me that he wants to install a phone in the bathroom so that I can answer every call because "only women should answer phones." The funny part was that I was not even a secretary, I was the leader of Purchasing so phones weren't even my job. He also told me that I have to wear a skirt every day, even though all of the men wore dirty jeans!

So this story reminded me of that....I adore dressing up and I'm pretty girly, but it sometimes depends on the place and time, ya know?? It's strange that they expect something different out of you, why does it matter to them? It's difficult but I would say try not to let it bother you too much what they think....

Well I hope you are having a better day today!

Rachel

Candid Phobic said...

I looove Working Girl! I never get tired of watching it :-)

Candid Phobic said...

P.S. a lip gloss always make me feel a little extra girly! hehe.

Cee said...

I love working girl!

I also work with all guys...I think wearing dresses and tights makes me feel girly at work.

Bathwater said...

Guys notice make-up they just don't know it. But guys never realize what goes on behind the scenes either with some girls.

I'd would have told the guys at work they weren't worth impressing ;)

Couture Carrie said...

I want to try to be more girly as well!
Fun post, darling! Loooove the title quote :)

xoxox,
CC

HISdaughter said...

I think you should just be yourself and be content with that. It's work, and if you change the way you dress after this conversation with these douches, I mean dudes, they will think their opinion matters to you ;)You are gorgeous no matter what you put on, sweetie!

nycgirl0501 said...

There are always those guys at work. Ugh! Like the one who told me I like it how your hair changes colors because I got highlights a few years back. I wanted to slap him, so now I never answer his call and if he needs something he goes to the bottom of my to do list.

I'd say keep being yourself. Don't be defined by others or their perception of what being girly means. A guy will like you for who you are...if you act like something that doesn't feel natural eventually you will get tired of the act.

Kristin said...

Maybe they weren't referring to how you look? Perhaps they were talking about how you chill so well with them...like one of the guys? I'm sure you look perfectly lovely when you go to work!

Tuesdai Noelle said...

Hey Mel,

First, I AGREE....they betta not touch Casblanca or Gone with the Wind. I think they did TOUCH "Carmen Jones"...which was the one that Beyonce played in, back in 2002...SAD. Anyho....

It's the gymies that's got them asking this- but whatever with them. That's not to say that a girl isn't girly (you're a pretty girl)- don't worry about it--it's TRUE, men are always trynna to BE noisy! Ignore them, and consider them BLESSED because they get to glimpse of your beautfiul face. That's how I think of it, when a men says something off-coloured to me. It works ha.

In all honesty, me personally I hate gymies (they make me look young - but I envy girls who can make it FASHION fiece) I think I confuse most men tho aha- I dress extremely "girly girl," almost to the point, it looks like I've been taken off of the screen from a scene in; "Clueless" (my colours match tho and don't look toooo Barbie) and will shun anyone who even stares. But little do they KNOW I adore video games, hate being around "girly girls" (not all but sommmeeee) don't eat prissy at all (im not a slob tho LOL) and will get my hands dirty..even with a dress on! They find ALL of this out, once they talk to me of course. I rarely wear dresses btw, but I still look wayyyyyy too prissy and "runway ready" when i leave the house ha. My look usually is; denim jeans, chopped jacket, plain fitted tee, and wacky coloured heels (any height) I just adore the look...I'm NOT Bougie...just real. I just see an image as just that an image....

Good post! have a fab day :)

tess said...

honestly, these coworkers sound like jerks all around, so I really wouldn't bother with their comments. I think you should just be yourself anyway, you don't need to play up to the girl stereotype. then again, I am the type to wear skirts and dress frequently, but when it comes to talk I tend to be more of the boys. well yea, I'm a bit more overnanalytical than a guy is, but I tend to like typically "male" books, music, and movies so, I guess its a balance. but I don't think much of it really

Heather Taylor said...

I am very, very girly. Skirts and heels and cute handbags and perfume at all times girly. I think it comes from having three brothers and needing to stand independently and be recognized as not just one of the boys. I have been told by my girlfriends on campus that when I come up in conversation with guys, I am described as "interesting" and "always wears red lipstick." Red lipstick is pretty much my go-to girly item no matter what. I feel very confident and pretty when I wear it.

woodlandsblonde said...

First of all, they're just judging you - like you said, they don't know you!

I wouldn't give a crap about their opinion- especially since you're not interested in them!

Things to be more girly.....I wear my hair down and curl it most of the time- it doesn't take too long in the morning.

Also - I look half asleep without eyeliner on....sometimes I bring it with me and put it on later in the day after I wake up :) It is a big difference I think tho- it really wakes up the eyes.

Also- I wear dresses a lot with flats and cardigans- my office is out at a golf course- so I switch between office attire and golf/office attire.

It sounds like you work in a bachelor pad and it would be dangerous to walk in there as how you go out on the weekends!!

Kris said...

Working Girl is my absolute FAVORITE movie! Oh man, so good!!!

Hmmm, how to I dress more girlie? I tend to wear black and grey a lot. So when I wear pinks and other light spring colors I feel girlie!

P said...

As I think I've mentioned before, I also work with five guys. I think I'm quite girly just in terms of my clothes, my make up and the accessories i wear, but I'd say I make the same amount of effort when getting ready for work as I would if I was going out for dinner with a friend. I like to look pretty, and it comes out as girly somehow.

You are TOTALLY girly by the way - don't listen to them! They wear SWEATPANTS, FFS!

Jaime @ La vie...J'aime said...

Paint my nails! :)

Sarah Von said...

Fantastic! I've never heard that quote before - will be using it constantly now ;)

I just wanted to pop over and thank you for entering the giveaway for my Karma Cards on the Oh, Mishka blog. We've got a few sets left if you're still keen (cough, shameless self-promotion, cough) ;D

Len♥reNeverM♥re said...

Working Girls is one of my fave, my friends & I used to memorize all the lines...scary huh?! I'm never a fan for 'too much of girlie-girl look', whatever that is...
xo

JUST ME said...

I used to work in an office with all dudes. It was DISGUSTING (and the porn was just the half of it). They never noticed me either. Too distracted by THE PORN.

I only own one pair of granny panties. For that one day of my period when I feel like I should be wearing a potato sack. Other than that...all cute stuff. It helps.

Lulu said...

i don't think you should try to change the way you look so you come across to men (or in this case completely oblivious boys) a certain way. if you FEEL girly and you FEEL good about yourself i think that's enough. it's not as if you're throwing on sweats and/or looking unpresentable. you're doing fine! =]

OceanDreams said...

Your co-workers sound a bit mean, so I wouldn't take their comments to heart. I hope you feel better though and just be you and don't try to change yourself for anyone. Try not to care what they think, you are beautiful! To feel girlie I like to wear lip gloss, be sweet, wear a cute dress, and just be me. Just be you too!

Heather Rose said...

I'm going to have to come to NY to kick your coworkers' butts AND hug you, cause they're jerks! You're gorgeous, and the guy that's right for you will find you irresistible no matter what you're wearing/not wearing. Seriously, what the heck?! Are they joking? I've seen a few pics of you, and you're a REALLY PRETTY GIRL. I have no idea what they're talking about. NONE. I don't care if you're wearing overalls and a utility belt, you're hot. Perhaps they're into slutty chicks, and you've got too much self respect for their taste...

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