Ever see the movie "Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark?" This above picture is a scene from the that movie where they hide the Ark in a secret government warehouse that holds all of the world's secret treasures. My mind feels a lot like this right now. A full warehouse that just isn't seeing the light of day. I'm keeping things in, not letting my true self out, & all my dreams are boxed up & sealed tightly. There is just so so much going on, that it's just piling & piling & that poor lil worker in that picture is so going to have to work Over-time this week to organize everything. The ark is me, and it's somewhere lost in that chaos of the room.
To get out of the house to try to feel better I went shopping with my cousin and through all the mirrors of the stores I saw...Well that "Oh I looked like a mess." Just a mess. My hair was in a very messy bun, I had my STAC college sweat shirt on that just looked messy, old sneakers, my shirt that I just love's color was a wee bit too faded, my eye make-up was a little off from rubbing my eyes a lil (I'm allergic to alot of spray scents), and I had bags under my eyes. I'm supposed to be out there attracting some random guy who might be shopping at the same store & I looked like I crawled out of the END of a zombie attack. Not a good thing.
Have you guys ever had those days where you just feel like a mess?
But then my cousin and I went to get a drink at this lil restaurant. We were sitting, chatting, trying to figure out what to get who for Christmas when this girl walked into the place & sat one stool down from me. I just happened to look towards her & was like Woa, her outfit looks amazing, her hair looks so nice, she had on thigh-high boots, her purse...well i liked my purse better than hers but it fit her outfit, she had on accessories, and I just thought, "I wish I looked like her." I don't mean that I wish I was a different person & did the whole blonde, thin, Omg I'm awesome watch me wave at the people look...I just wished I looked a little more "put together".
Yeah that's a good way to say it. "Put Together". When stress & just shit brings you down people sometimes forget how much it actually affects you. So...what do you do?
Well, I'm going to break out my lil pink Liz Clabourne flats I have that I actually have never worn, I straightened my hair for tomorrow morning(I have really long hair so it would take forever to do in the morning), I'm going to wear one of my nice new sweaters, put on some earrings & a necklace, have a nice butterfly clip in my hair, wear my new black hat I bought, remember to put on cover up & lip gloss and try to make an effort tomorrow to look like "I tried today." I guess I forgot to try to look nice in all the shuffle. I'll take a picture tomorrow.
These are the Liz Clabourne flats I bought a lil while ago. I'm not a big fan of pink, but these were just too cute pass up.
It's easy to forget things when your on auto-pilot. I'm putting so much effort into clearing my head of junk & get things done that it's making me forget the wrong things... I have to shed this college-student roll out of bed look. I need to start being a 24 year-old woman, I need to try to look my best, I need to not forget as well as forget, and I need to not look like I've been in a warehouse searching for the ark. lol. Also I need to wake up for real.
And if I fail...no one can say I didn't try. I'm trying, I'm trying so hard not to fall.