For those of you who don't know, I got my Bachelor's Degree in Mathematics this past spring. I'm very familiar with math. I've taken up to Calculus 5 in school.2+2=4, 5 * 4 = 20, the derivative of 2X is 2, Pi equals 3.14...etc. But I really wish in life things added up that simply.
You can save money, and eventually it will add up to a lil something so you can buy those pair of shoes or go on that trip you've been dying to go on. You can be there for your friends, and it adds up to a friendship that will last for years. You can do all your duties at work and maybe just maybe you will get that promotion or a bigger desk. But sometimes you can be there for someone, when no one else was, and it just doesn't add up to anything.
Yes, there is a certain person I'm talking about so I gotta ask something of everyone here.
I have a friend that he is one of those guys who is the, "Oh I don't need anybody or anything" type of people. However when he's upset he always needs somebody. Everyone gets upset sometimes. I've been there for this guy tons of times. He'll have a bad day at work, a relationship will fall apart, no one will show up to his birthday, he was upset that his doggie died, or days where he feels lonely. But I have to leave this guy. He is just a drain on my humanity. He brings me down, when I'm up. But if I'm not there to help him out...who would be? I thought being there would add up to something, something real, something I could feel in my gut...but I still got taken advantage of when I least expected it even just as a friend.
How can you walk away from a friend who you know needs someone to be there for them?
Out of all the math classes I've taken, I've never had such a logic problem or a calculation problem that was this deep & where I don't have enough paper or pens to sit and solve it.
I'm still emotionally up from the possibilities of my new group of friends but I got side-swiped by this detour and I unfortunately clicked the "Follow" box.
But the weirdest thing happened today that turned my frown upside down sorta speak... Where I live there is a lot of rainbows. Maybe because there's mountains or there's wide open spaces so you can see a large stretch of sky...but I've seen probably about 5 in my life. Well today makes 6. What was soooo weird was it was an Upside Down Rainbow!!!!!!! I don't know what to make of it. This is a real picture that I took earlier today. I SWEAR I did NOT flip this picture!!
So there you have it. The sky smiled at me. I've tried to not curse on this blog, (I do a lot in real life), but What the fuck?? I guess everything will somehow be okay if you look at the sky and it's smiling down at you. What do you think?
The gears in my mind are turning...turning ever so much. It will work out, it will add up...just this odd weird awkward time between things is just a lil hard to see past. If this ends in losing a friend, I wish I didn't have to say this, but so be it. I think I'm seeing the movie, "Precious" tomorrow with Erin so that will be fun. I'll write a non-spoiler review tomorrow. Til Tomorrow...
cuz I've seen the dark side too."
- I'll stand by you, The Pretenders