Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Let's shed some light on the subject, pretty please???


Have you ever been in a dressing room or a really really bright store & happened to take a look in a mirror and say to yourself, "What the hell?? I look like hell??". Well that happened to me today. I got a lil upset because I thought to myself, "Oh great, I've been pushing it too hard & the past few days have taken a real physical toll on me." BUT then I went into another store looked again in the mirror(I swear I'm really not vain it's just that there were mirrors in Home Goods everywhere) and I didn't look as bad I thought I had in Kohl's. So what's up with that??????

The lighting...But isn't it always the way when you see something in bright sunlight that it's truly clear?? Or fluorescent lighting? You can see past the shadows of darkness that people try to hide behind. People say, "Ignorance is bliss". I'll admit it, I used to crave it. But that is no way to live. I'll take the truth please & a second helping of honesty.

In truth, I need a new job. In truth, I'm scared to write my resume because it means leaving my comfy cushy lil job where I get paid well but I can't listen to the sports 24/7. Also honestly I need a job where it's a professional atmosphere where I can't get away with wearing jeans, whatever shirt I want, old sneakers & a sweatshirt.

There are no mirrors or fancy lighting to show me that I look like that college student who just crawled out of bed in the morning when I go to work...I just know it.

In truth, I got told by my Mr.Brown-eyed Big...aka Mess that he doesn't want to settle down with anyone, that he, I think, has a new girlfriend & told me that I can bring guys around because it wouldn't phase him at all. So, in truth, he tried to keep our friendship because he is my best friend but honestly I don't know how...how can I?? So this is a chapter that is closed. I've been here too many times. I counted...about 7. I think that's more than Carrie & Big. I'm done. He can hate me if he wants, but he dumped me indirectly so I'm not at fault, and it's my place to leave.....Honestly I could care less at this moment. I hope he is happy, Honestly no sarcasm placed, I want him to be happy. Goodbye.

In truth, I heard Metallica today on the Classic Rock radio station my job plays. Mind you I was honestly weirded out when they played Green Day but Metallica?!?!?!? I feel old, but I guess those songs came out 20 somewhat years ago. They even play Sugar Ray sometimes. I know...I can't believe it either.

In truth, I have to go to a nutritionist on Saturday because after having my gall bladder removed I realized I can't eat certain things anymore. For example meat & diary. So I honestly have to stick to whatever diet they put me on, no more Fun-size M&M treats that I <3 so much. But I do look like hell because I haven't been eating right, so I honestly have to do something.

Isn't it better when you turn the lights on and see things clearly???? I think it is. It might hurt like a train hitting you, then reversing...Can a train reverse??? Well it has found a way. But honestly, it's better to know. Ya know?

So. There you have it. I turned on the lights in my New Start & let my shadows see the light. What a sigh of relief...

Make sure you turn on the lights today. Okay?


Okay now for some fun. I'm obsessed with Lady Gaga's new song, Bad Romance. Many people have posted her new video so I'm not trying to cramp on anyone's style, but I'm in love with this song & I have to give her soooo much credit. She is so original & that is amazing. I'm a Huge fan.

Here's the video in case you missed it. I've had it on repeat all day.



Last but not least. Today is the major 11:11. It's November 11th & it's 11:11pm. Make sure you make a wish as you finish reading this post.


I'm making my wish right now...

"You and me could write a bad romance..."
- Lady Gaga, "Bad Romance"

19 comments:

Susan R. Mills said...

Okay, I'm sorry, but the beginning of this post made me think of a Seinfeild episode when he's dating a girl and sometimes she looks hot and other times hideous. It all depends on the light. Anyway, hang in there. You are making great strides toward the new you.

Caroline Cakewise said...

Haha, love that song! And some lighting is just depressing. Particularly in our college bathrooms. It makes me think of Cher in Clueless: "What went wrong? Did I stumble into some bad lighting?" ^^ Thanks also for the money-saving tips. And for your questions about simplicity and friendship. As for the the things I do for someone, I wouldn't say anything specific. I think sometimes it is just being there. xx

Jennifer Fabulous said...

Ohmygosh. Those damn mirrors. Yes, I know exactly what you mean. There are times when I look at myself in the store and I am just in horror. I think to myself, gosh I've been so hideous this entire time and never knew it! Or, there are times in softing lighting at department stores where I just stare longingly at myself in the mirror and I can't believe why I'm not married to Prince William yet or something. LOL! :P I kid. But seriously, lighting really makes or breaks your appearance. Harsh lighting is the worst...yuck.
I'm sorry about all the crap you're going through with Mess. :( I just don't understand that guy. You're a very pretty girl and you're so sweet and so smart and so interesting and you're his best friend. Um, any NORMAL guy would have claimed you for his own IMMEDIATELY. I think there is something seriously wrong with him. :S
Oh, and that is the first time I have seen the Bad Romance video! Thanks for posting it. I absolutely love that song and Lady Gaga. She is so fabulous it kills me. I love all her music videos b/c she really has brought back the glamour and mystique that music videos used to have...LOVE HER. ;)

Badass Geek said...

The classic rock station I listen to plays Metallica, but only stuff from their Black Album.

Keith said...

It seems that mirrors and lights can definitely show us differently than we had envisioned ourselves. I do wish you the best with whatever you decide to do with your job, romantic life, etc. Take care. I love Lady Gaga. Her new song and video are so awesome. Very ultra cool. Cheers!

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...

Up until this song I hated lady gaga. but I do looove that song.

Junie Moon said...

I've never been what I call a "mirror person," heretofore ignoring them. But once in a while when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror, it seems as though I'm looking at a stranger. I think I'm one thing but see I'm another. Very odd and disconcerting.

You've said a few things that make me think of certain elements of my own life. It's good to gaze in the intellectual and emotional "mirrors" of ourselves and establish an honest reflection on who we are, what we want (and don't want/need), and move on. To be still is merely unproductive stagnation. You're very smart to be considering all these elements.

Tights Lover said...

Great post. I love your blog!

So true about lighting and mirrors, I was just commenting on that to someone a couple of days ago. In certain lights mirrors can really mess with you!!

Great song and video. Hadn't heard it yet and I'm glad you posted it. Hope you have a great day!

Andaje said...

About the diet thing - there are eventually going to be pitfalls which you have to crawl up from... And sometimes people around you will no be able to understand why you have changed diet...
I found out that I needed a died because of MS - via tests and professional guidance I realised that besides meat (pork, lamb, beef) I had to leave out some food considered to be healty - well not healthy according to my body...
Now... I have slowly lost the 30+ pounds that I gained after the MS attacked me... and the weirdest thing: I havent given up my daily coca cola (with sugar and all since I can drink the diet/zero version due to the artificial sugar) etc..
Hang in there - and eventually it will be a routine that you didnt know that you have missed out on...

scrapbook said...

this video of gaga is super in styling ... especially the exaggerated doll eyes, xx

drollgirl said...

OOF. flourescent lighting is pretty much NOBODY'S friend! ugh! direct sunlight can also be harsh. sometimes i think i look fine, then on the way to work i'll check out my face in the side mirror and the harsh sunlight is not always kind! ack!

and getting healthy does give a good glow. if i eat REALLY poorly (this happens often), my skin looks bad and i get all puffy and bloated. ugh!

p.s. metallica on a classic rock station?!?!? i am a dinosaur! i recently started watching "that metal show" on vh1 classic, and it makes me so HAPPY! but i also get to see tons of old rocker and metal dudes. age and the lifestyle HAVE NOT BEEN KIND TO THEM. the other day lita ford was on. ACK. metal chicks in their 50's don't usually carry it off so well.

Simply Colette said...

Hi Melanie!

I've missed you and tried to pull up your blog the past few days and blogger crashes on me. So annoying. I know what you mean about the flourescent lite, the only one I like is Anthropologie, but not the prices. Sorry about the mess :( I was going through the same thing with the job last week and even had an interview, but it stressed me so bad. Hope you are doing better. Sending hugs!

Love, nicolette

A Thought Is The Blossom said...

i love the lady gaga hello kitty eyes....soo hott!

i know what you mean about walking past mirrors. it's not vain at all! there's been plenty of times i walk past one and thought geezz i look bad today! that damn fluorescent lighting hides nothing, and don't even get me started on dressing rooms.

as far as a job, i wait tables and am required to wear a uniform. i really have no reason to get dressed in the morning before work at night, but i do because it makes me feel good. i used to lounge in my pajamas all day, but that really just made me have low self esteem. i read something written by a cali girl who visited the south commenting on how people in the south don't care about how they dress or how they look everyday (and it's true). that really made me start thinking about putting effort into my appearance for confidence reasons.

OceanDreams said...

Hey love, I hope you find a job soon and that everything works out with your man. Be sure to be true to yourself and don't let anyone treat you wrong, ok? Hang in there and I know sometimes turning on the lights and seeing truths hurt, I am going through that as well.

Scientific Housewife said...

I love Lady Gaga and her new video, so unique! I have something for you over at my blog :)

Secretia said...

I know how mad I get when I see black bags under my eyes suddenly appear.

Blondie said...

Those mirrors do suck! I used to work for Nordstrom, and they had the worst mirrors ever. I don't know how anyone bought anything lol! I love this post girlie. You made me laugh...thanks so much for your darling comments on my Dita Von Teese post honey. I really appreciate everything you said. Have a great night. Kori xoxo

Connie said...

I know exactly what susan was talking about- that episode of Seinfeld is classic. This post was great! Nice thoughts.

Good luck on my giveaway and nice to "meet" ya (:

Organic Meatbag said...

Best bathroom in the world? In the men's restroom at my workplace...makes me look like a million bucks...every other mirror makes me look like $2.75 in pesos...

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