Have you ever been in a dressing room or a really really bright store & happened to take a look in a mirror and say to yourself, "What the hell?? I look like hell??". Well that happened to me today. I got a lil upset because I thought to myself, "Oh great, I've been pushing it too hard & the past few days have taken a real physical toll on me." BUT then I went into another store looked again in the mirror(I swear I'm really not vain it's just that there were mirrors in Home Goods everywhere) and I didn't look as bad I thought I had in Kohl's. So what's up with that??????
The lighting...But isn't it always the way when you see something in bright sunlight that it's truly clear?? Or fluorescent lighting? You can see past the shadows of darkness that people try to hide behind. People say, "Ignorance is bliss". I'll admit it, I used to crave it. But that is no way to live. I'll take the truth please & a second helping of honesty.
In truth, I need a new job. In truth, I'm scared to write my resume because it means leaving my comfy cushy lil job where I get paid well but I can't listen to the sports 24/7. Also honestly I need a job where it's a professional atmosphere where I can't get away with wearing jeans, whatever shirt I want, old sneakers & a sweatshirt.
There are no mirrors or fancy lighting to show me that I look like that college student who just crawled out of bed in the morning when I go to work...I just know it.
In truth, I got told by my Mr.Brown-eyed Big...aka Mess that he doesn't want to settle down with anyone, that he, I think, has a new girlfriend & told me that I can bring guys around because it wouldn't phase him at all. So, in truth, he tried to keep our friendship because he is my best friend but honestly I don't know how...how can I?? So this is a chapter that is closed. I've been here too many times. I counted...about 7. I think that's more than Carrie & Big. I'm done. He can hate me if he wants, but he dumped me indirectly so I'm not at fault, and it's my place to leave.....Honestly I could care less at this moment. I hope he is happy, Honestly no sarcasm placed, I want him to be happy. Goodbye.
In truth, I heard Metallica today on the Classic Rock radio station my job plays. Mind you I was honestly weirded out when they played Green Day but Metallica?!?!?!? I feel old, but I guess those songs came out 20 somewhat years ago. They even play Sugar Ray sometimes. I know...I can't believe it either.
In truth, I have to go to a nutritionist on Saturday because after having my gall bladder removed I realized I can't eat certain things anymore. For example meat & diary. So I honestly have to stick to whatever diet they put me on, no more Fun-size M&M treats that I <3 so much. But I do look like hell because I haven't been eating right, so I honestly have to do something.
Isn't it better when you turn the lights on and see things clearly???? I think it is. It might hurt like a train hitting you, then reversing...Can a train reverse??? Well it has found a way. But honestly, it's better to know. Ya know?
So. There you have it. I turned on the lights in my New Start & let my shadows see the light. What a sigh of relief...
Okay now for some fun. I'm obsessed with Lady Gaga's new song, Bad Romance. Many people have posted her new video so I'm not trying to cramp on anyone's style, but I'm in love with this song & I have to give her soooo much credit. She is so original & that is amazing. I'm a Huge fan.
Here's the video in case you missed it. I've had it on repeat all day.
Last but not least. Today is the major 11:11. It's November 11th & it's 11:11pm. Make sure you make a wish as you finish reading this post.
"You and me could write a bad romance..."
- Lady Gaga, "Bad Romance"