Thursday, January 21, 2010

In a very unusual way I completely understand.


Somehow I figured it out. I figured out why I felt what I thought was "numbness". Nah, it's not being numb. What the issue with me yesterday after my date with the Drummer Boy was, that I'm over him. I guess from when he broke up with me 2 years ago I did get over him when he disappeared. I really am & I have to say I'm completely okay with that.

I called him on Tuesday to pick a time. He then called Wednesday to ask me to drinks. I went. I took off from work 10 minutes early, & told him I got off of work later then I actually do so I'd have more time to get ready. I even had a moment to sit & relax before. I was trying to remember him in my head. What I use to feel with him....

I walked into the bar & I immediately saw a guy with short blonde hair & a green shirt that reminded me of the last time I saw him. I approached the guy's back & put my hand on his shoulder & said, "Hey". As the man turned around for a split second I saw the Drummer Boy staring at me. Then I blinked & a stranger appeared before me. It wasn't him. lol. Drummer Boy was behind the bar not in front of the bar.

He looks the same. Exactly the same. But his eyes are different. He looked like he had the weight of the world on him. He said I looked great & when it came time to order I found out he had eaten right before he showed up. What the hell??? Who asks someone to dinner & eats before????? Well I ordered a drink & an appetizer. He just ordered a drink. I hate conversations where I just do all the talking because the other person isn't talking. We reminisced, talked about old times, our friends, & things we've gone and done in 2 years. It was weird. I felt like I was dragging information out of him.

7:30 came along & he had somewhere to go so we walked out towards the door. Drummer Boy then looked at the guy I had thought was him. He said to me,

"Yeah that guy does look me. 2 years ago."

That hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized why I was so nervous & freaking about this date. The first time I met Drummer Boy I had immediately picked him out of a crowded party bus & basically we hit it off right away. I don't remember the night much because frankly all we did was make-out. I think I was hoping for that Spark again. I was looking for the guy I met 2 years ago. He's not him, but I don't know if I ever really knew him. People in relationships sometimes only show a piece of themselves. That sucks, but it happens. I don't think he ever really showed me who he really was back then. What a shame.

Well the Drummer Boy chapter has closed for me. If he wants to be my friend, okay. I'll maybe hang out with him again but I'm just really over him. He'll be okay, he lands on his feet. If he needs a helping hand or ear I'll help him. But just as friends. I think its okay that I'm over it. Sometimes you need to move on.

So now what to do. I haven't talked to Mr. Platform but I think he too wants me to just be his friend. I'm actually feeling okay right now after all of this. The anticipation of meeting Drummer Boy kinda made me feel like I was being closed in a box. I don't have that feeling at all anymore. I'll just have to let this red balloon go wherever it may go.

I actually have programming homework from my job. Yes things have turned around alot with the job. I will do that post tomorrow. So until then sleep good. Nighty night.

This is the picture I THINK I'm going to put on the dating sites. Whatcha think? Should I get a pic with more of my body? Or more smile? Hmmmmm.

37 comments:

Girl Meets Gun said...

It's funny I've been reading a lot of posts about girls dating musicians. :) That used to be the only type I dated lol. My most serious one was the Bassist Boy though, haha. And I remember when I realized I was completely over him, and it was a year after we'd broken up. It is sad, but we all have to move on. I'm glad you're okay and moving forward.

BTW, the pic is very cute. :)

Jay Ferris said...

That's a good picture, but I'd go for a little more body and maybe one done with the timer on your camera. Whenever I see pics of a girl doing the "at arms length" shot, I immediately suspect she's trying to skew the camera angle in her favor. You know, MySpace-style.

Aquiles Damiron-Alcantara said...

This blog has become my guilty obsession this week lol. I wanted to hear this story, the whole deal about this boy, but he kept cancelling on you.

It is great that you are over him. He seems to be a little lost.

Oh well, I look forward to your new stories. I like the pic!

Con aprecio,
Aquiles

Hobo ........ ........ ........ said...

Sweet & Gorgeous with naughty eyes.
Anyways, Listen what heart says And follow. Cheers.

Denysia said...

That's good that you know what to do now! When I broke up with my ex boyfriend, which by the way is still a touchy subject to me, I just stopped talking to him, and I haven't looked back once.

Leah said...

I'm so glad the Drummer Boy chapter is over. But please don't lose hope with my fave bet... give him a chance. Remember, he was shy to approach you in the platform even if you've been chatting for years. He is just shy I guess.

Now for the dating site pic... I guess it would be better to just show this pic... leave some mystery. Your pic shows a very gorgeous and beautiful lady. If they want to see more, then they have to ask you out right?

The Owl's Closet said...

i'm so glad that u got closure over drummer boy, melanie:) u will meet someone who truly deserves u:) u look great in this pic!

TheOwlsCloset.blogspot.com

angel6033 said...

I love that pic, you are so beautiful!! :)

Brent said...

Cool. I'm glad you found some closure. Seems like you know what's up! Yeah, I really didn't want to read later on how you gave him chance #3203420, etc. That picture is great. If I were on that dating site, I'd send a "Howdy" for sure. Hmm. I guess including your body in the picture is always a preferable thing for anybody searching through those dating sites, but this one's fine in my opinion. You're super cute and I like your hair in that pic too. Good luck!

Secretia said...

You look just great in that picture. I feel that you have matured in the last 2 years, it must have felt excellent to realize that you are over the guy too!

Secretia

Sandy said...

Good for you Melanie ... realizing you're over him. I had a guy in and out of my life for 14 years ... it was such a relief to get him out of my system ... even though I wonder from time to time what's he's doing with his life. Not that I want to be a part of it anymore ... I just hope he's happy.
And good for you deciding to do the internet dating thing ... just be careful. Meet in public places. But I know you know that. I'm just protective of the people I care about.
The picture's good ... more smile and maybe a little more colour would make a beautiful girl gorgeous.
Have a great weekend hunny.

Manju said...

i think this picture is good. you look beautiful. and just 'you'. that's the image you want to project

ChinkyGirLMeL said...

Hey sweetie. You are right about how in some relationships we never really get the chance to know someone soooo well because they only share bits and pieces. I had an ex who was like that. I felt how you felt too. I was a bit excited to see him but then when we hung out it was blah.... there was no spark and i realized I am soooooooooo over him.

Suzanne said...

i think that picture if perfect. you look GORGEOUS :)

Bathwater said...

I just read a bunch of stuff about pics for dating sites and they say a pic like that works well.

Did drummer boy pay for your drinks and food? If not THAT is why he ate first! I am glad you are over him he sounds like a bad choice.

jayne said...

I think you're in a good place right now. The fact that the boy you believe was DB was someone he claimed look exactly like him 2 years ago is so telling, its almost like something about of book, real life metaphor haha! I think he's a little stuck in the past, as you said, his eyes made him seem so burdened, maybe he was calling hoping to reignite something from the past? But good for you for not falling into that trap and doing what you need before his needs. because clearly nothing will ever go anywhere if you cannot even get a conversation going (I loathe those moments. I've have a few with college friends from freshman year who I didn't get around to seeing until November, and then we disagreed on everything haha). best of luck! and that is one hot photo, go with it!

Amber said...

It's good that you're able to admit that this chapter in your life is over. I always had a habit of clinging to things that I should've let go of. So I agree with Jayne. I think you're in a really good place right now.

What Would a Nerd Wear said...

firstly, i love that sweet picture of the heart at the top of the post!
i like your photo, but would echo some other commenters in having something taken by self-timer or by someone else, which makes a photo look more natural. but this one is definitely super pretty!

Langley said...

Love the photo. What you should do it put a few more up in your next blog and get people to choose which one is the better one.

Yeah, relationships can be the worst and best things in the world but you never really do show the real you. You're always a different person when we assume roles as we're not the same person when we're a girl/boyfriend, a daughter, a friend etcetc. We're a bunch of personalities all pushed into one body.

It's just sometimes when there is nobody around where we show the real us.

Couture Carrie said...

Congrats on closing the Drummer Boy chapter, darling! Cute pic!

xoxox,
CC

Katy Mary said...

I think it's good you are over it, moving on is very healthy and I'm sure more adventures will come your way!

Amanda said...

It must be a relief to realize you're over him! And yes, I think that's a really good picture :)

The Style Mansion said...

It's good to have closure. I like that photo!

Jaime said...

I like that story- it's good you finally feel over him. Sometimes it takes more time than you'd like but it happens.

:)

Elise said...

you've written a great post here ! thank you

HISdaughter said...

SOOO glad to hear it, girl:) You deserve the very best, and you will get it. :)

theacousticlover said...

It's SO good to be over someone. Loved the blog :) Trying to find myself too..i know just what you mean**

Artistic Logic said...

aww im glad you got to do that, at least it led you to this conclusion...best to face the phantoms of our life?

and post this picture!! its cute =)

p.s. programming?? you're an engineer!! me too (but not your kind-- i know nothing about programming)

Brunch at Saks said...

Love the pic- you look gorgeous! So glad to hear that you had a chance to have some closure and that you realize what you wanted/didn't want. Hope you have a great weekend love XOXO

nando.gino said...

What should I say then ? I bet a congratulation will be the right word for you. I believe you made a good decision and right decision, well, at least for you. Just like people always say 'there's a bright in tomorrow to be catch'. You must keep go on with your life.

About the picture. Its a nice, but I think you should put a little bit more smile.

AudreyAllure said...

that's great on getting over drummer boy!
and that's a beautiful picture of you :)

Erika said...

First, I think that is an amazing picture for dating sites - absolutely perfect. It shows enough but not too much.

Second, I'm sorry about Drummer Boy. I think that we all want that "spark" to be there even after years have passed; but so very rarely it is. Look on the bright side...you may have found a new friend. And who knows; maybe you'll be able to rediscover that spark!! :)

Lise said...

That pic is awesome, you look stunning! Maybe put up another that is full body just in the other section?

As a newcomer to your blog I'm not up with the whole drummer boy story (gonna go back and have a look now...) but you sound really together about it, and mature, so hope you're feeling good about things!

Jennifer Fabulous said...

I truly believe you needed to have this "date" with Drummer Boy to officially close this chapter of your life. I don't think things were really resolved between you two and now you know. You will never spend the rest of your life wondering "what if...". That's a nice feeling, isn't it?

Personally, I am completely dumbfounded as to why you need a dating service at all. You are gorgeous. That photo looks like a modeling pic. I'm not sure where you live, but it seems you have a sparse male population? Or perhaps every guy in town is gay?? It's a mystery to me, dear. I have a feeling though you are going to receive a ton of responses on any dating site you join. :)

Nitin said...

you are a relationship-phillic person.. and i can't blame you.. lot of people are.. all the best.. and its a pretty pic.. you look sweet in it.. im feeling bad you couldn't kick him in the balls. i was actually looking forward to it. anyways, i'll move on to commenting on the next post. the anticipation was killing me, and the result has let me down.. :P.

OceanDreams said...

I am glad that you found some closure - the same thing happened to me when I met my ex after a year of breaking up and now I think it wouldn't be the same if we saw each other again 2 years late. Brovo for you for seeing how it would be and catching up with him.

Heather Rose said...

Only jerks eat before going to dinner with someone, in my opinion. Maybe he didn't have the money to eat, but I'm not giving him that excuse.

I love that picture. I love in your face shots. It's like the portraits I paint. ^_^

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