Thursday, January 28, 2010

And if I had the chance I'd never let you go...


So an interesting thing happened this weekend. I met a guy. I wish I could tell you get all exited but instead I am a bit confused. You can say I'm having this, "I guess he's just not that into me" gut feeling but this was a bit weird. Here me out in my adventure into an almost Sex & the City episode.

I met this guy on Friday night. He was the bartender at the brewery. I told him about the Bacon adventure & he thought it was really funny & said he could do it. Probably not. Well I found out his name but I left for the night & told him I'd go back to the brewery Saturday. I did. He showed up a lil after me & asked me very gentlemanly if he could sit beside me & buy me a drink. hehe. I smiled, a real genuine smile, maybe I'll make a new friend tonight....

We talked about nothing & everything. He told me about his niece, how he has a tattoo of her name on his arm, so she will always be in his arms. I thought that was one of the CUTEST things I've ever heard. He bought me 2 drinks, we talked all night, we met up with mutual friends, & he kinda stayed by me the whole night. GREAT SIGN huh? I was sobering up & he was hmmm I'm not sure what state he was in but he didn't seem drunk...then the typical thing that I wish for all the time happened. He asked for my number. I gave him my number & he said,

"Cool, I'll text you in a few with my number & I'll call you tomorrow for the Jets Game."

He didn't kiss me, but did that weird stare at the girl's mouth thing guys do. I thought whatever I only know him about 8 hours. I drove home all happy & was like Omg I met someone!!! AWESOME!!! But then 5 minutes went by. I didn't get a text of his number. I didn't think much of it cuz I was so tired. Maybe he'll call tomorrow like he said he would for the game.

Well the Jets game happend at 3pm my time. They had the kickoff. Half-time. Few touchdowns. Then there was the end of the game. I watched all of this at home, alone. He NEVER called, NEVER texted me his number, & yeah, that's that. Nothing. We talked all night, Oh yeah, my friend that he knows says that he thought I was, "Mad Cool". Um yeah. Nothing. I guess he just wasn't THAT into me.

I know this is an old question to ask but Why do men never call??

Why waste the time of the night spending All your time with one girl & say things like you know we could watch this or we could real person that you are behind the games?? Why let your smile go up to your eyes and just leave us hanging watching the rain from the window? It boggles my mind. Maybe I should have told him that I own a Lacie =P.

I'm not upset because I really don't know the guy but really, "Come on!". What is up with the people where i live? What's with the games?? Maybe it's the pressure of Valentine's Day on a single person that's getting to me, but why is it so hard to meet someone? I would love to know. Back to the ole drawing board...

So in the real world not the movie world...Why do you think men don't call when they say they will? I'd like some guys opinions too here pretty please. Why don't you call the girl when you say you will?

I wish I just had a chance. A real, fair, chance at having something carry over to the next day with someone....is that so hard??....I guess it is.

40 comments:

Steph said...

Girl, you've got me! LOL

Heather Rose said...

I have absolutely NO idea why they don't call, Melanie. I think it has something to do with fear of commitment. You're pretty, interesting and probably scare the heck out of them.

I've got ZERO dating experience, though, so I don't know. I dated one guy in high school, and he's my husband.

Aquiles Damiron-Alcantara said...

Melanie, not all guys are the same.

Why this guy in specific did not call you? I have been thinking and can't come up with anything logical. You see, he bought drinks, talked to you all night, asked you for your number, yet never called. Weird. Maybe he wanted to save it in his reservation collection, those numbers one has in case a date is needed asap.

When I ask for numbers I make sure to text or call back. At least out of courtesy. Simply saying something like "In case you did not notice belle, I stole your gorgeous eyes. Thanks for making tonight a lovely night."

But sometimes also, potential love fades away in a matter of one night.

Con amor,
Aquiles

angel6033 said...

you are so right this is a very old question, and I wish I had a response but honestly I think situations vary so much, that there is not one right or wonrg response. It could be anumber of things, he coudl have not liked you very much, or lost your number, or misplaced it or whatever. I mean you never know, either way his loss, totally :( lol

angel6033 said...

oh yeah, you have an award on my blog!! :)

dancinginchiffon said...

interesting post darling! Guys alway say we are complicated but they confused us most of the time aren't they? good luck!

Christopher said...

Can I plead the 5th? No?

Whenever I've asked for a girls number (unless I was totally faced) I did it because she seemed like a girl I could see myself at least having fun with and with every intention of calling. The two reasons I wouldn't call in that situation are either because I've just been in a relationship and I'm not really ready to move on even though my brain tells me to. Or, because I just wussed out. It happens, I'm not proud but sometimes, for me at least, it takes more nerve to make that call then to strike up the conversation and ask for the number. I know that probably sounds strange (I am strange for the record) but its happened to me more than once. If I don't call its never been because I didn't like the girl. My two cents.

Secretia said...

His state of drunkenness might have been much higher than you thought. Some men use the same lines all the time and they are never sincere.
The tattoo story sounds like a big lie too...
Good guys Do Call!
Your good guy is looking for you too, Melanie, you'll find each other and when it happens, it'll be the best thing ever!

Secretia

ambiguous_angel said...

you had been tagged!
and nice post.

911 and the Randomness.. said...

My DH (who doesn't have a blog of his own...) would like to say:
Guys get scared. If this guy forgot to text you that night he might not have called because he didn't keep his word. Men are not the brightest.
And there's some crazies out there with both sexes so be careful!

Sugar Whiting said...

Aww hunny..I'm sorry..maybe he got "dumb man can't pull his head out of his ass" syndrome..Idk.. I was waiting to see what happened, then BAM!!he didn't text..bah! Men suck.

tess said...

man, I HATE boys sometimes. this does sound a bit he's just not that into you. even if he did buy you a drink, the MIA calling/texting is not a good sign sadly. I'm glad you're not putting all of your hopes on this one guy, but I see how you find the pattern here annoying. I do too!

I only just really started the dating scene when I entered college. problem is, my college has a reputation for only hooking up and rarely coupling, oh well. So I'm still behind as always. Last year though I had a huge thing for a guy friend of mine. Most of my friends thought I went temporarily insane, always calling him and buying him cute gifts for Valentines day, but my obsession wasn't totally my fault. earlier in the new year, he definitely did call me for lunch and then proceeded to flirt with me...honestly, wrong move on his part b/c I totally fell for him then. And after that he kept dogding my texts and bringing friends along to our outings ugg. whatever, we're friends still, but yea same issue!

Brent said...

Man. Men. Guys. Dudes. We're pretty dumb sometimes. So if we were to exclude the slight possibility of him having lost your phone number somehow and didn't have the sense to get it through your mutual friends... I don't know what to say. And there lies the problem huh? There just wasn't enough to go on and I can see why you're left wondering. It sure seemed he liked you. I mean, personally if I didn't feel a connection or "like" a girl that much, I wouldn't have spent all that time with her like he did you. It also reminded me of how douche bags are out there too trying to collect numbers as trophies, but I doubt he falls under that category. D-bags usually get that sort of thing done quicker that he did with less commitment and effort. But to get to the point, and to be completely honest, guys don't call for many reasons. I fell under that category once. I'm not too proud of it either. A girl that I never even noticed (I'll be honest, for vain reasons) in a bar once complimented me randomly and started a conversation. I continued it to be nice and of course I was flattered by the attention. My friends were heading out and I had to cut our conversation short. She asked to exchange numbers, and -to be nice- I gave it to her. I didn't want to say... I guess I didn't want to tell her "No". She texted me a few times over the next week and I never responded. I felt bad because it was my fault she even got the false impression I was interested. Lesson learned. Not that this situation has anything to do with yours, I'm just saying I get it. And sometimes, even when we do get a girl's number, we somehow end up over thinking it and may lose confidence and don't bother calling. I know I sometimes over analyze things, such as how the girl reacted, etc. and try to figure if she really was interested, all for the sake of saving myself from possible rejection. Because in the same way, girls give out numbers -to be nice- at times. Maybe that's why we always shoot a text first. If we never get a response, there's no bother in calling and it being a disconnected number or something. Or maybe for some reason he got dumber by the millisecond and wasn't interested in you anymore, which is, you know -- ridiculous. You're awesome! But all in all, there are a ton of reasons for anybody not to call. I wouldn't sweat it though. Maybe drop in on that brewery randomly sometime and see what he says. Other than that, I seriously wouldn't sweat it though. If for whatever reason he chose not to call you, his loss. I woulda called :)

Slyde said...

honestly, the ONLY reason i can think of as to why he wouldnt call, is that he has a girlfriend.

When hes out with his friends, and alittle tipsy, it was fun to see if a pretty girl is into him, and to see how far he could push things, but as he sobered up, he realized he had no intention of leaving his girlfriend.

thats my 2 cents perspective, anyway, from someone who's seen it.

perfectionishuman said...

Because guys are..dim. That's the only explanation I can think of. That probably doesn't help, does it? Sometimes I think that guys don't even realise the games that they are playing and it all gets lost and messed up because of what is *expected* from the other person.

woodlandsblonde said...

I gave my number to a guy a couple months ago...he was a complete d-bag!! I gave it to him because I felt bad...he was buying me a shot and one of my friends jumped in on the deal. He got pissed off so I tried some quick fix-it and gave him the digits. Uh, mistake. Just gave him another way to be a jerk- via text!

I'm hoping that you get a call/text from this guy soon- he sounds like he was nice- bought you drinks, asked for your number, Like you siad, you don't know him- so you don't know if he's going through something in his life. I wouldn't wait around- but if this guy's worth his salt I think he'll get back to ya. If he doesn't, keep fishing :)

The Pocket Stylist said...

Oh this is so cute. I love your blog!! kiss::kiss

P said...

Oh wow.

You know I was so happy for you at the start of this post - like, that is a great story where you meet someone randomly and just connect.

And then he turned out to be a typical tit. Just like the rest of them.

Unless he lost your number and/or his phone.

THEN he's forgiven.

Kate said...

Honestly because sometimes guys are just stupid. I am sending you a cyber hug. Still if he has lost your number he could still track you down - if not you can do loads better

Kate xx
http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com/

Bathwater said...

Well it could be one of three reason, he lost your number, he isn't that interested or his girlfriend found the number and got rid of it. Next time you are at the Brewery and see him find out. Ask him. Say, "So which is it?".

Kris said...

Hmmm, that's a tough one. Something I think they also ask out of courtesy. Somehow that think by asking even if they know they would call is the nice thing to do after they've invested some time with you. Makes NO sense, I know. But do they ever?

Jodi said...

the right guy will call. all the wrong ones wont :)

Tracie said...

I have no idea. I suspect it's because they are asshats.

Sheri said...

Very weird. Yet not so much. Guys well... they suck. I do believe in many (not all) of the things from He's Just Not That Into You... this guy sounds like a jerk though not to follow through with what he said he would do. ::hugs::

P.S. - I have an award for you over on my blog if you wanted to pick it up. :)

The Style Mansion said...

The teddy looking out of the window is so cute and kinda sad too. I agree with Slyde, sometimes its just an personal ego trip. I often speak to my male cousin and his friends, who get up to all sorts.I usually have to tell them off for their behaviour towards women. Guys who are immature, can be very dishonest and selfish,but there are good guys too.

muchlove said...

I really wish I knew the answer to that! I hate that feeling of waiting around for a guy to call when he said he will. It makes me think about it way too much, and it's such a waste of time and energy.

StuddedLilly said...

well.. i think guys mind/head is just THAT much simpler than us girls.. we're mental, they're physical.. we pay so much more attention to the details but for guys, its almost 100X harder to see them. i would say give him a bit more time and see what happens, if he has the heart for it, he would know what to do. if not.. "next" lol

xo

Eternal Blast said...

Well I can't tell
That happened to me many times; however, there was this time when he called like two weeks later, I guess he was growing a pair, I do not know....
Now we're married ;-)

drollgirl said...

guys can be SO CONFOUNDING! but i guess when it is right, it is right? i guess?

i recently met one on line and was GIDDY for about a day. now he is bugging me and i think he might be a gigantic weirdo. UGH. wish the right guy would just fall out of the sky already!

Leah said...

I don't have any idea why men don't call especially if they showed interest. That's why I don't just give my number, I ask for their number too. Hahaha! (That was when I was still single and available.)

OceanDreams said...

Yeah that does sound like a SATC eppy for sure and you know what - that guy does not deserve you, simple as that. Though I wish guys wouldn't be so stupid and ask for a number if they didn't plan on following through.

Kristin said...

So not worth your time worrying about it. A worthwhile guy will call!

Constructive Attitude said...

hmmmm. maybe something happened????????

Audrey Allure said...

his loss!

but if you think of the positive options: he could've accidentally lost your number & was too embarrassed to ask again? he simply forgot? or he watched the game with some of his friends who he's embarrassed of?

Barry said...

Maybe he was a bit inebriated and lost some of that liquid courage later. Otherwise apart from some serious reason like he lost it or had a personal emergency, he should have either called you or shut the f^&$ up in the first place and not lead you on by asking for your number.

I don't know why guys do this. Both sexes play their games but speaking as a man, if you say you're going to call a girl/woman then do it. Doesn't matter if you're nervous, if you had the balls to walk up and talk to her in person then man-up and pick up the phone. Don't lead her on.

Honestly guys piss me off sometimes. And I are one. :)

Maybe he'll still call. Regardless, I know you'll find someone who finds you as amazing as we do Melanie. ♥

Tuesdai Noelle said...

...as they say, it's MORE "fish in the sea."

A Thought Is The Blossom said...

i dont think i have any brilliant advice to offer, but it sure is interesting reading all the mens responses!

Jennifer Fabulous said...

Ugh. I wish I had a good answer for you. Truth is, there could be a number of reasons. Maybe he decided he wasn't ready to dive right into the dating world just yet. Maybe he's getting over a horrible relationship. Maybe he lost your number.
...maybe he's a douchebag. :(

Guys really suck sometimes. I'm sorry you had to put up with that, honey. Hugs!!!!

Sadako said...

Hugs! And just wanted to say I love you for naming this blog post after a line from my fave song of all time (be my baby).

CAPow! said...

ugh, that sucks! but let me tell you a story of hope: M & I went out a few times when we first met, dinner one night, and movie the next weekend, a bike ride a week later. At the end of our bike ride, he asked what my schedule was for the week and I told him. HE TOLD ME HE WOULD CALL ME to hang out. And NEVER did! A MONTH later, I went with my roommate to see her ex's band play...they happened to be playing with M's band. We ran into each other, he bought me a drink, we hung out, and that weekend he called me and invied me out. We haven't been apart since! I asked him why he never called and his response "Why didn't YOU ever call?" I told him I didn't because he said he would and when he didn't I assumed he wasn't interested. I assumed wrong. So the moral of the story: if you're interested, give it some time, then go back tosee if he still is. He may have been wasted, it may have been a miscommunication, he may have THOUGHT he saved your number but accidentally didn't!

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