Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I just don't know what to think....

So. Hmmm. It's really hard to write a post when you have absolutely NO clue what your thinking. My brain is doing the "running like a hamster on crack" thing right now trying to figure out what just happened in an hour & a half time today. That hour & a half was the time I spent with the lil Drummer Boy. He called, I went. I need an extra day to write the post on him because yea, I'm spinning on the verge of numbness. All I can say right now is it was definitely a bad omen when I walked in and went up to a table, placed my hand on a man's shoulder, & it wasn't the Drummer Boy. He was across the bar, not in front of the bar. I went up to the wrong guy cuz he looked like him from behind. Even Drummer Boy said when we were leaving that the man did look like him from behind....anywho, the night was not what I was expecting & I'm upset, I think, or relieved or angry or...I just don't know my thoughts right now.

In the mean-time I thought I would try to make all of you laugh. I called one of my friends after my "Hang-out", "Date", "Get-together" oh whatever the hell it was, & she told me, "Whatever you do tonight make sure you laugh, so you don't cry." Ergo, that's what I'm going to do.

I work for a phone-book company type deal & I basically stare at a phonebook all day. Have any of you really looked at the phonebook? I know that sounds stupid with the internet and all now & google but I gotta say it is actually one hell of a funny read. There are headings in it that you look up what you are looking for. Plumbing contractors, attorneys, automobile people, & you name it. Well then there are the other headings....

TO be honest I don't even know what half of these things are but maybe this list of things in the phonebook will make you laugh & wonder what the hell is this!??!?!?!

1. Impregnating Plastic Metal Processes
2. Massages-Non-Therapeutic
3. Buses-Bodies
4. Livestock Waterers (I don't know what this is???)
5. Schools by Subject: Cheerleading
6. Avalanche Control (Do you call during one or after?? lol.)
7. War Games
8. Funeral Service Celebrants
9. Artificial Eyes- Human
10. Charm School
11. Funeral Escort Services (What is this???? Is this what I think it is???)
12. Junk Dealers
13. Escort Services - Motorized
14. Gumming Service
15. Peepholes - Door
16. Fan Mail Service
17. Lava Protection Gear
18. Shortening
19. Asbestos & Asbestos-Free Products

I dunno. I think these headings are funny. I would love to know what a Gumming Service is. lol. You never know what someone will find funny.

I will have a post tomorrow about the Drummer Boy. Right now I just can't think. So til tomorrow....


Hobo ........ ........ ........ said...

11. Funeral Escort Services
- The favorite.

Inspiration in Italy said...

That list is hilarious!! :)

Secretia said...

Melanie, it sounds like you are having some excitement now! Enjoy yourself.


Bathwater said...

Oh no you went out with him at HIS convenience! What is wrong with you. Weren't you reading! Melanie :(.

Brent said...

13. Escort Services - Motorized
19. Asbestos & Asbestos-Free Products


Melanie's Randomness said...

Oh Dear bathwater, I read every single comment, especially yours. I wanted to get it over with so I called him, & made sure I was late. I'll write about it today.

jayne said...

well you did go, that way it cannot be nagging on your all of time

that list is quite funny, non therapeutic massage hehe

Sheri said...

lol phone books can be funny when looking at weird last names too ehhe

Langley said...

War games? I'll have some of that :D

Heather Rose said...

First of all, I've used that same railroad/pinwheel pic on the Myspace account of the runaway and homeless youth outreach program I direct. Small, confused world.

Lava Protection Gear, hmm? Wow. I just really doubt anything could actually protect someone from hot molten magma. False Advertising? :P

Pixel Wild Child said...

Hello darling... happy new year to you!!! May all your wishes became true this year ;O)
I will confess looking at the phone book is one of my weird hobbies, together with reading all the names of places, mountains, rivers, etc in my Atlas! he he heeeeee

Katy Mary said...

Sorry your date or whatever it was didn't go well :( those captions though are TOO funny!

Barry said...

Wow, interesting yellow pages listings. Y'all got some interesting shit going on in NY!

Melanie, no matter how down you are or how bad the situation is you always want to make others smile. I absolutley love this about you!

Hope you feel better about that situation (I know blogging about these things helps you). And thank you SO much for posting my 'Bloggers over Borders' in your sidebar. You're the best!


Aquiles Damiron-Alcantara said...

I will keep in mind the escort service in case someone dies and I do not have a date to bring
with me lol.

Buenos deseos,

Pop Champagne said...

lol I want a peep hole, on teh bathroom door. haha jk jk. I used to read the phone book when I was working in retail and we were bored. I actually prefer to use the phone book when finding contractors etc because a lot of them don't haev websites yet and if they do they charge more!

drollgirl said...

hahaha! those are hilarious!

and is little drummer boy a new guy or an ex? i hope things went well! dating is so confusing! bleh. ay yi yi.

Tony said...

I didn't know you needed lava protection in New York. I usually suck at Geography, but I'm pretty sure there aren't too many volcanoes in the eastern part of North America...and I think #8 and #11 might be related ;)
BTW, good riddance to bad rubbish (Lil Scummy Boy), you don't need him.

Melissa Blake said...

Great list!! Can't wait for tomorrow's post!

Sophia said...

I guess I never really took the time to sort through all the phone book titles. They are hilarious!
1. Impregnating Plastic Metal Processes
What is this?!
9. Artificial Eyes- Human
Wouldn't you just be blind if you needed artificial eyes?

This made me laugh. Thanks!

Check out my blog!

PorkStar said...

Escort Services - Motorized <-- LMFAO

Well it seems many of us are going through the emotional rollercoaster now. I personally dont know what to think either. My brain is a deadbead hamster at the moment.

Must sleep.

Feel better

Kelley Anne said...

That is funny. It would be a great party game to make up funny explanations for these businesses/services.

bananas. said...

oh things didn't go well? i'm sorry least the phonebook was able to make you smile. buses-bodies? HA! WTF?!

Little Ms Blogger said...

This is my favorite:

Funeral Service Celebrants


Iva said...

oh no!!! i am so sorry things didn't go totally are HILARIOUS ;)

angel6033 said...

this was funny lol, funeral escort service I believe is when they escort your car or something I highly doubt its a date or a hooker type thing, but in the day and age, I suppose it would not be too far fetched..

The Style Mansion said...

Hee hee, I am laughing. There are some strange things on that list!

Jennifer Fabulous said...

I never in a million years imagined I would find the phone book hilarious...until today. Thank you for the laugh. :)

Nitin said...

"running like a hamster on crack" .. hahaha.. i loved that and im stealing it forever and ever.. hahhahahaa.. after going thru that list i just realised that im doing the wrong fucking thing.. if any one asks me, 'ok, what do you do?' . i'll have to put this smug look on my face and say 'im and embedded engineer' and half the time still i wind up explaning to people what the fuck it is that i do??? if i had a job like 'Funeral Escort Services ' no one would dare ask me the details.. and it sounds crazy too.. freelancing is out.. and Funeral Escort Services is soooo in.. ::D thank you genius!!!

OceanDreams said...

That is quite the list, and the phone book is so dang random sometimes!


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