Ever feel like your in a daze? A simple daze that clouds everything. My life is taking me all over and this last weekend I regret my decisions. You’re supposed to live life without regrets but this weekend was nothing that was promised. I put trust in a friend that I’ve had problems with before because she can be a selfish bitch and the worse part of it all is that she knows it. She constantly reminds me that “Yeah I’ve been a horrible person to you” etc. She is perhaps one of my oldest friends because I’ve known her about 15 years but that time means nothing to her. This weekend solidified that fact…but I knew better which is why I think I’m so angry and irritated.
Three strikes and your out in baseball. I should have left and remained gone from that friendship after those 3 strikes. Now it’s a countless amount. I’m really not sure why I stayed friends with her…probably the time we’ve been friends is what keeps me and some common bonds. She will act perfectly normal when it’s just her and me. Near other people…that is a different story. I feel more like her babysitter than her friend and she is actually a year older than me. She just wants her fun and that’s about it. She could care less who gets hurt in the crossfire. Seriously.
I was promised a weekend up in Rhode Island of clams, tubing, beach time, a birthday bash party, a bar on the beach etc…It all got destroyed by her bringing a certain drug that basically turned the people into zombies and when you give children candy they will eat it all in one sitting. The 21 years old took to it like a fly to a zapper. I don’t do these certain activities so literally over the course of the weekend I just collected dust on the sidelines. She thought they would have the drug fun for a little while and then return to the so-called party. Nope. The WORST part of it all was that a second drug was brought by one of these kids and my friend lied about doing it as well. When I asked if she had taken it she said, “No we’re going to do it later”. LIE. I guess she’s embarrassed by this bad habit but I don’t really give a damn. She ruined my weekend, my mini vacation that was one of my only set of 4 days off til April of next year.
I told her how infuriated I was with her and she just sat in silence and was like “I’m sorry there is no excuse.” If it was the first time I had heard this from her I might have let it slide and said yeah you’re a drug addict you need help. But this is the icing on a long list. People just suck sometimes. I would have much rather stayed home and spent the time with CJ but no. He even persuaded me to go because he thought I’d have a lot of fun. I would have with the advertised weekend. Not the shit show it turned into.
Now I’m not sure if they are solvable between her and I and then Cj…I think he’s sick of me having bad days. Everyone has bad days but I’m having a marathon. He wants to have fun and be happy yet I seem to be stuck in the mud. I really didn’t need to have this stupidity happen with this idiot friend of mine. I won’t return her texts. Maybe she’ll really get the picture. Maybe. I hope Cj and I get over this rough patch of time. I don't want to lose him either. I hope.