Wednesday, July 6, 2011

What a Marathon of Stupidity...


Ever feel like your in a daze? A simple daze that clouds everything. My life is taking me all over and this last weekend I regret my decisions. You’re supposed to live life without regrets but this weekend was nothing that was promised. I put trust in a friend that I’ve had problems with before because she can be a selfish bitch and the worse part of it all is that she knows it. She constantly reminds me that “Yeah I’ve been a horrible person to you” etc. She is perhaps one of my oldest friends because I’ve known her about 15 years but that time means nothing to her. This weekend solidified that fact…but I knew better which is why I think I’m so angry and irritated. 

Three strikes and your out in baseball. I should have left and remained gone from that friendship after those 3 strikes. Now it’s a countless amount. I’m really not sure why I stayed friends with her…probably the time we’ve been friends is what keeps me and some common bonds. She will act perfectly normal when it’s just her and me. Near other people…that is a different story. I feel more like her babysitter than her friend and she is actually a year older than me.  She just wants her fun and that’s about it. She could care less who gets hurt in the crossfire. Seriously.

I was promised a weekend up in Rhode Island of clams, tubing, beach time, a birthday bash party, a bar on the beach etc…It all got destroyed by her bringing a certain drug that basically turned the people into zombies and when you give children candy they will eat it all in one sitting. The 21 years old took to it like a fly to a zapper. I don’t do these certain activities so literally over the course of the weekend I just collected dust on the sidelines. She thought they would have the drug fun for a little while and then return to the so-called party. Nope. The WORST part of it all was that a second drug was brought by one of these kids and my friend lied about doing it as well. When I asked if she had taken it she said, “No we’re going to do it later”. LIE. I guess she’s embarrassed by this bad habit but I don’t really give a damn. She ruined my weekend, my mini vacation that was one of my only set of 4 days off til April of next year.

I told her how infuriated I was with her and she just sat in silence and was like “I’m sorry there is no excuse.” If it was the first time I had heard this from her I might have let it slide and said yeah you’re a drug addict you need help. But this is the icing on a long list.  People just suck sometimes. I would have much rather stayed home and spent the time with CJ but no. He even persuaded me to go because he thought I’d have a lot of fun. I would have with the advertised weekend. Not the shit show it turned into. 

Now I’m not sure if they are solvable between her and I and then Cj…I think he’s sick of me having bad days. Everyone has bad days but I’m having a marathon. He wants to have fun and be happy yet I seem to be stuck in the mud. I really didn’t need to have this stupidity happen with this idiot friend of mine. I won’t return her texts. Maybe she’ll really get the picture. Maybe. I hope Cj and I get over this rough patch of time. I don't want to lose him either. I hope.


⚏ Arlecchino Fluorescente ⚝ said...

I can relate to this.

just call me jo said...

I hope everything clears up for you soon. Dang drugs, dang bitches...

Jennifer said...

I won't worry too much about it. I'm sure, given time, CJ will just realize that life happens--if he is at all worried about your amount of bad days.

As to your friend, it's best to just let it be and let her go.

I tell people all the time, it's not the amount of time you've known someone, but how much you both put into the relationship that matters.

That goes for anything.

Jennifer Fabulous said...

Your friend sounds like she needs some serious help. Counseling of all kinds, drug and mental.

And I agree, I think it would be best if you erased this person out of your life completely. You do not need the additional stress right now. It's toxic, not only to you, but to your relationship as well. :S

Good luck. xo

P said...

I'm sorry your friend let you down again. I think that was her last chance, and she blew it. You need to cut her loose now, hon.

She knows she has hurt you in the past and it sounds to me like she almost takes pride in it. That is not the kind of friend to have around.

I'm sorry about CJ too, but I'm sure you will get through things with him. You have a strong relationship. Just get rid of that other deadwood relationship, okay???

Big hugs. xx

Kris said...

I can relate as well. I think it's time to move on from this person. Sucks...

Not to horribly switch gears like they do on The Today show but I have a giveaway. Come by to get away from the crap!

Krystal said...

i hope your rough patch is over soon. i'm sure it will be.

Wendy said...

Toxic people suck... When something is foul we toss it in the garbage and forget about it (ya know?). Walk away without looking back - no need to let this person zap anymore of your good energy.

woodlandsblonde said...

Hang in there girl...I've been going through a bit of a rough time too. Sounds like this girl needs some tough love (if she's enough of a friend) or just to be cut out of your life.

She's not doing anything good for you! Neither is she helping your mood at all! Get rid of the negativity!

I hear ya on not being positive patty all the time - things that boost endorphins = exercise....I just got back on the horse recently too and it's helped me out of my slump! Also, chocolate, wine, sex, all of the above help.

Try to stay positive, make a list of things you're appreciative of!


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