Wednesday, July 13, 2011

So Darling...Save the Last Dance for Me...


 
During the winter, CJ and I used to go take dance lessons with another couple in a lil studio in New Jersey.  Our friend Kate had brought up this idea to break up the winter blues and it used to be so much fun! I remember being shocked at the knowledge that CJ would actually go to something like this and enjoy it. We learned the foxtrot, salsa, some tango, and I think west-coast swing… He used to twirl me around and we’d bump into a few walls, but it all seemed so magical to me that I used to get drunk with the excitement of it. Disney movies used to always show the princess waltzing with their princes and Oooo I wanted that even for just a quick lil hour once a month. 

I guess it was around February-ish or March we stopped going. The other couple’s relationship took a rocking turn and they stopped going, which evidently caused CJ and I to stop. The other day at lunch I drove past the studio and I hit with this wave of sadness because I miss those nights so much. To add an extra stab of it I keep getting emails for Groupons of dancing places, each a lil too far away, and there is a commercial for Living Social.com where a couple is dancing around on a rotating device and I see it every morning. That other couple is long from doing dancing lessons again because of their hectic schedules and CJ seems to want to do more “Guy’s night” stuff on the weekends to wind down from the week so then there is left just me. Cinderella in her dancing shoes without anywhere to go…

The amount of couple friends CJ and I have is dwindling fast too. All his friends are single these days, a couple we used to chill with is moving away, and the one other couple we try to do things with usually the girl has other plans so I’m left with the CJ and his best friend. It sucks. I…I’m not sure how to feel lately but I’m really starting to feel left out of things because I’m a girl. I know CJ doesn’t want me to forget who I am and just be someone “In a relationship” but my friends now are all with their boyfriends leaving me out too. Perhaps I need to just march some time until CJ’s friends find girlfriends or my friends’ relationships become more serious where they do things with other people??? Maybe??

  
I miss going to dance classes, I miss going apple picking, I miss going to festivals with a group of people, I…I’m missing something that I can’t quite put my finger on. It's so classic that one area of your life will get good aka my job when the other parts are in limbo. I hope things get ironed out. I don’t like this feeling of being left out of my life…not at all. 

What did you do in your relationship when the Couple's Ratio is lil to none...?
I'd love to hear...

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14 comments:

TheGirlAtFirstAvenue said...

I know what you mean... Its so nice to have a couple to hang out with, but right now all my girlfriends are single and so are my boyfriend's friends!! So its mostly just the two of us... Our single friends do hang out with us but sometimes even i feel kinda left out around his friends.. But luckily he knows this and makes sure to give me extra attention ;)

Jennifer said...

Honestly, we are okay with just spending time together even if he was playing video games and I was on the computer.

We don't need all of that.

Not to mention, he's a home-body and I tend to be sometimes, too.

Jennifer Fabulous said...

I'm sorry your relationship seems to be in a bit of a lull right now. :S

Ya know, I've never had the whole couples date experience. Rian and I simply have never had any friends who are a couple! All his friends are married with young kids and simply do not have time for hanging out. My friends are single career women! We used to hang out with his sister and her boyfriend, but now those two are broken up...sigh.

I hope things pick up for you soon. I hate to see you so down...

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Meghan said...

My husband and I were in a similar situation, in that all of our friends in the city (where we live) were single at one time, and all of our couple/married friends were in the suburbs. So we started doing things like meeting our neighbors and going to church with younger congregations to try and meet other couples. It worked! Maybe you and CJ should continue to dance? You might meet some fantastic new people!

Shannon said...

Boooooo! Sorry things are up to snuff. I really hope it gets better for you. :)

Cafe Fashionista said...

I've never really experienced this situation because all of my past BF's and I never really hng out with other couples - it was always group things, solo things with each other, or solo things with our own friends. :/

woodlandsblonde said...

Mel!

Hiatus.Over.!

I was so happy to pop over here and ses "CJ" :) I think that even though you all are progressing in your relationship, and trust me, things get too comfortable sometimes....he still has to treat you like he did in the beginning to keep ya!

I hope he figures out that he needs to spend some time with just.you.! Would he be opposed to going dancing with you? Maybe ya'll could just go out - instead of going to a class.

Sorry the couple ratio is dwindling : / that happens...part of life! Maybe have a party, happy hour, or girls night to reconnect with some of your friends!

:)

Jill said...

Live music is always a fun thing to do. There are always a bunch of great people to chat with.

Erika @ ~TiptoeButterfly~ said...

it totally doesn't bother me being the only one without a date out - or neing the only one with a date .. all my friends are just chill - so everything is always carefree and cool and whatever is clever ....

the BIGGEST difference is my friends with kids - they TOTALLY are now in a different circle - parents to non-parents are TOTALLY different!

Ally said...

Awww. I know what you mean but in our case, we moved just as we had established several very nice couple friendships. We were finally going to dinner parties and whatnot, invited to brunches etc. We've been living down here in FL for six months and haven't a friend in the world down here. It's such a weird feeling let alone couple friends.

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

When D and I first got together we were one of the only couples in his social circle but in mine we were one of the last. I don't know, we always found stuff to do ourselves our else we just hung out with the singles. It can be sad but sometimes you do what you have to do.

Krystal said...

ok miss, it's time for you to make things happen! sign up for a class! maybe you'll meet other people there? (ok sorry if my positiveness makes you want to vomit :))

Wendy said...

I totally agree with Krystal (not vomiting, either, lol). I bet you'll be back to doing the things that you love in a happy social circle sooner than you think.

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