Sunday, May 22, 2011

"We Thought She was Pregnant Last Month..." Wait...What? "WE" Did??


I have to put "Sunday Stolen Moments" on pause because tonight have to write about something deeper. In one night, a birthday was celebrated, a pregnany was revealed, and an apparent false alarm pregnancy was announced...I was aware of the first 2 events, however the false alarm was breaking news to me AND it CJ was talking about me. Here let me backtrack a lil bit to explain...

Last month my family and CJ all got sick from something we all ate at our Palm Sunday meal. Violently sick with vomiting and other. I think a total of 6 people were unable to move away from a bathroom for an entire day.  It was awful. What was worse was I got sick before CJ did. We were at one his friend's house for Passover and everything was fine up until about 7pm. I'm not as familar with the tradtional Jewish foods and after eating the brisket I got suddenly very warm and felt the meal wanting to burst throw my stomach. Eventually I couldn't fight the urge and threw up. Needless to say CJ caught on that I was vomitting and then when I opened the door to the bathroom he stood perfectly still and said,

"I've never seen you throw up so suddenly. Are you pregnant?"

Immediately I said No, I'm not. I threw up again and again for the next hour and honestly I think I got sicker because I thought about what he asked. Was I? BUT then I got a call later that night that he was sick with vomitting too and my mother and my uncle and....etc.  I knew I wasn't then...CJ and I have never mentioned that brief moment again...til this Saturday...

Fast Forward to this past Saturday: A married couple was at one of my friend's bday parties and made the happy announcement that Christy was pregnant. Everyone was clapping and it was a nice moment AND then CJ says, 

"Well we thought she was pregnant last month. Thankfully we alll got sick so we realized she wasn't. It was a false alarm." 

The table went silent, all eyes on me, and all I could do was turn to CJ and blurt out, "We Thought???". I can't remember who changed the subject or what happened next because my brain just stopped for a moment. I might have laughed it off or I don't know because the next thing I remember now is hearing Christy talk about the guilt of her eating meat while was she was pregnant because she's a vegetarian. I might have said I knew I wasn't but for Cj to say it at a table of people while people are celebrating a real pregnancy I am just flabbergasted. Completely and utterly.


Now in our relationship we try to talk about everything and lately I've just been letting the important topics like moving in together, jobs, engagements and others just come naturally. We hadn't discussed that sickness moment before and for him to bring it up in front of all those people is bothering the hell out of me. I'll admit I'm struggling with the knowing when to talk about things, when to argue, when to just agree, and when not to blurt things out because I value this relationship and I guess I still have fear of losing it all because this is still all new to me. Having a year long relationship is awesome and I don't want to fuck it up but I wonder if he's going through this awkwardness too?? Perhaps he was trying to find a time to bring it all up and it boiled inside of him so bad that he said it at the worst possible moment.....Maybe.....

CJ and I have to talk about the things more...In our openness about things maybe we are actually more closed off than we thought? We're both still mysteries to one another and that's a total good thing but I think we have to crack open the door a lil bit more...??? I don't know...this is big...real big. What a weekend...Seriously....


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9 comments:

Leeann @ Join the Gossip said...

I'm sure he worries about the same stuff as you :)

And talk about an awkward situation! Lol poor thing! I bet he didn't blurt that out on purpose hehe.

The Blonde Duck said...

Oh, the we versus I. People think I'm pregnant after I eat lunch!

Shannon said...

Wow. I wouldn't know how to react either. Let us all know how the talk goes...

Canny-Cole said...

I'm sorry that you feel that way, really. I'm sure it is definitely something that is bothering him...and maybe it did come out at the wrong time. Maybe you should talk to him, in a calm manner...and explain that it really hurt your feelings. I know that it's best to let the moment pass, and really think...before you act. When you approach him, you'll be a little more calm, and you'll know exactly what to say.

just call me jo said...

Well now! That was tense. I hope you figure out the ratio of openness to privateness. I'm sure that you'll figure it out if you talk. It's the not talking that'll destroy relationships. (Like I know anything! sheesh) Good luck, sweet friend.

Jennifer Fabulous said...

Eek! I can understand how you are upset. I totally would be as well. But thinking about it from his perspective, he probably didn't mean to be so blunt. Sometimes stuff just comes out at the wrong moment, or sometimes things don't seem like that big a deal to say, but then you realize "oh shit, I probably shouldn't have said it like that or even said it at all."

Good luck with the talk. Let us know how it goes! xoxo

drollgirl said...

eeeeeeeeeeeek. he shouldn't have done/said that in that particular setting. this is a topic that should be discussed in private amongst the two of you. ack.

relationships are so tricky. sadly i think most of us learn through trial and error, but communication is key to everything. eek. but it will be ok. but you guys have to talk about this!

Barry said...

I don't want to sound like I'm blowing this off Mel because I don't have the emotional investment in this that you do. But I think you shouldn't let this bother you too much. Try not to overthink it.

Yes I think it's something he blurted out without thinking. The timing sucked, especially with everyone around. But I think in striving so hard to make a relationship work sometimes it's easy to see a speedbump as a mountain.

I'm not trying to diminish how you feel so please don't take it this way.

You and CJ have been together for a long time but in many ways your relationship is quite new. Knowing some of the shit you went through before him I understand why you're eager to make it work, I think you two are made for each other.

Sandy and I have been together for nineteen years and in this time we've had some minor and major problems. Just keep talking it out, see his side but also make sure he understands why you feel as you do and why it bothers you.

You guys will be fine. :)

Lady Grey said...

Definitely just talk to him about it... sometimes guys are really oblivious! But it's those little things that eat away at a relationship if they're not dealt with. Of course you have to pick your battles, but if something feels "big" to you - it's definitely worth discussing.
xo

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