Monday, May 2, 2011

I text a postcard sent to you...Did it go through?

Never in a million years that day a year ago when I wished at 11:11 for a guy to call my own that it would come true. I remember I wished for love...and it found me shortly after.  He found me and had to see me again. Cj... A year has gone by almost in a blink of an eye. We skipped a few of the formalities that come after time because our parents work together, but we didn't know it at the time we met. We were both only children with tons of stories to tell...It clicked and it worked. I still smile at the thought. =)

But it's been almost a year since we've met. A year brings new meaning in his book as well as mine. I don't know how to describe a mini pink elephant that is in the room I think with us lately. There is I think some unspoken thoughts that were mentioned briefly 2 weeks ago when we both were sick that I don't quite know how to bring up again...


We've never had a problem talking about issues, changes, & concerns or anything really but I'm a lil apprehensive about mentioning things now. This is my longest successful relationship and I think I'm still scared of fucking it up. The topics are the next steps...I fear my condo isn't big enough for the both of us but before we make any big decisions we should live together a lil bit. Cj admitted to me that he was scared of us moving in together and I think that's rooting my fear. We decided to talk about it later when we both weren't throwing up every half hour. Later hasn't come yet tho...How on earth do I start it off?

CJ comes and stays over alot at my place so it's not like it would be an abrupt change if we did move in together, but I don't know what he's scared about. He also recently told me that he's never had a girlfriend that was such a partner and a true girlfriend who wants to make him happy and it's a lil unnerving to him. Also work hasn't been so easy on him so who knows if that is adding more stress. Probably. I have to wait for the right moment to bring it all up. Soon...


The feeling tho I get when we fall asleep next to each other and I get to feel his arms around me is worth it all. The love is irreplaceable in my heart. If I didn't have CJ I'd be so lost, more so than I've ever been in the past. I love him and I hope the later comes sooner than later... Til Tomorrow...

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13 comments:

Little Ms Blogger said...

If he has some apprehensions, let it come naturally. Eventually, he'll want to spend more and more time at your condo.

Love the moments together and enjoy the me time to do what you want.

tess said...

Congrats! The one year anniversary! I'm glad you two are still together. You're perfect for each other and both finally seem to be happy. You deserved to be in a loving relationship and I'm so happy that you got that.

I think the next step conversation will be tough regardless of how it comes about and how it goes. Although one year together is a big commitment already, verbalizing it and actually daring to look at a promising future is even more of one. Because moving in can lead to two options: marriage or break up. Such ultimatums are scary even if one of the outcomes is wonderful. Moving in will step the two of you out of your comfort zone and since you're happy right now I bet it leads you two to question whether its worth it. But the biggest and best things in life are worth the risk.

The Blonde Duck said...

Popped in to say hi! What a poignant post!

Krystal said...

aw, i hope you guys find peace soon. things liek that are never easy to talk about. it seems like guys are so influenced by how their work life is going..it's interesting.

Shannon said...

Hang in there, girl. When the right time to talk to him about next steps comes along, you'll know it! :D

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

When D and I moved in together at first it seemed EASY and I couldn't believe what a smooth transition it was. However, then we started to have problems. It happens in relationships. Just be honest and you'll make it through.

Claire Kiefer said...

So sweet. I want love like this. I'm sure the conversation will happen soon if you don't put too much pressure on yourself.

Rachael said...

He may just be scared of having to give up his "space". Not in a bad way or however, just guys like their lad time. Just let him talk about it naturally. I'm sure everything will be magic in the end.

CAPow! said...

M & I had been dating about a year when my lease with my roommate was up. As I talked to him about my roommate & I finding a new apartment, he kept saying "don't sign anything yet." Then when we found THE PLACE I told him and he was like "don't sign anything yet." I asked him why and he wouldn't say. So we signed a lease and when I told him he said "I told you not to sign anything!" and I asked why, and he said because he wanted me to move in with him. And it was super awkward having to tell me roommate, bu luckily she new someone who was looking for a place to live who offered to sublet my spot on the lease.

Jennifer Fabulous said...

Wow time flies! :)

I think moving in together has to seem like the next natural step. If either of you are too uncomfortable with it, it should not happen.

Obviously I don't know how big your condo is, but Rian and I live in a small apartment together. We're fine. It took some getting used to, but you have to learn how to give each other space in small space. It's a matter of not suffocating that person. Once you live together, it is not like you have to do EVERYTHING together. After a while of adjusting, you will both realize what I mean. It takes a while to find your groove.

Good luck bringing the subject up and I wish you the best. I hope to hear good news soon! xoxo

Diana Mieczan said...

I think its always a bit scary at first to move in together. I hope that soon you both can talk it over:) Hugs and kisses, darling

Mo Pie, Please said...

I've been in this position before - my husband felt the same way as CJ. There's something they have to go through before they're ready, but trust me, he'll be ready. It's just really hard to make the move but once you do you'll find it was the best decision ever. We lived together for 2 years before we made any life-long decisions and I think that was the best thing that could have happened. Good luck!

PS - hosting a giveaway, come check it out!

b. said...

i totally get this, this is the same for everyone :) it is so special. and you know what, i did the same as you, i wished (after a very awful time) and it happened a mere 10 days later!

x.

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