Monday, January 24, 2011

That CAN’T Be Healthy for the Couple Who is Trying to Help Out…OR Is It?

Why is it that right before the holidays or rather right before Valentine’s Day relationships start to fade & the stress becomes too much & a break-up might be in the near distance future?  In the past few months a few of CJ’s couple friends have broken up with their significant others or have gotten to the point where they just don’t know where to turn with the problems. Well Cj & I’s door has been open for advice. But I have to ask…

Is it a good thing to be surrounded by all this drama or is it better to just stay out of the other people’s messes?

Lately CJ & I have had conversations that I really never thought we’d have. Like… “If you’re going to dump me can you not do it that way, please?”” If we get to that point can we start dating again because I wouldn’t want to lose you?” Don’t ever do the not answer your phone thing like she did because then it’s too obvious that you want out.” See the break-ups & the problems of the other couples have been huge & of course CJ & I answered each other’s questions & were like geez why are we even discussing this stuff…oh…right yeah they asked us for help.

Neither him or me would leave a friend upset so we’d want to help but is it healthy in a relationship to be the one everyone constantly goes to with their dilemmas? So far it’s making us I think a lil stronger as a couple. We can without a pause talk about the friend’s issues which is a good thing but what if we disagree on the advice that is given? We could then get in a fight & then everyone is all over the place then. I don’t know & I’m a bit torn on this situation.

I want to help out but isn’t evidently up to that couple to work on things or decide that it is time to break-up? We could give advice but who knows if they’ll take it too. I guess this is why my final words to people in break-ups or problem situations is “Are you Happy? Make sure your happy because if you’re not…then what the hell are you doing?”. 

I think this is all a learning process...I love CJ so much so I wouldn't want anything to come between us...Love is worth fighting for tho too...

What do you think on this helping out Drama-filled Couple Issue? Is it healthy or not to help?
I'd love to hear! 

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9 comments:

Hollie said...

ahh! I'm dealing with something similar. I've decided to just stay out of it and listen to the person when they need to talk, without giving unsolicited advice. It's kind of working haha.

Jennifer said...

Girl, I definitely understand how you feel. Unless they ask for advice, I stay out of it. I may have my own reservations about the situation, but it's up to them to figure it out, really.

As far as my relationship goes, I just remind myself what a wonderful thing I have going. And if it's good, you won't have to fight. But if you do have to fight, you will. That's always the comforting thing.

Dancing Branflake said...

If you use good judgement I think you'll be all right. You guys have good heads on your shoulders already.

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Krystal said...

I would help if they needed my advice! They ultimately decide anyway :)

haze said...

Oh, that's so true... Hmmm... Me and my boyfriend almost broke up right before Christmas. We made it through, though.

♥new follower :)

Diana Mieczan said...

I think if it doesnt take over your day or time than its nice to help out friends and cheer them up...For me its all about the balance...Wish you a wonderful Tuesday morning,sweetie
Kisses

Cafe Fashionista said...

Personally, I think it's better to stay out of it. I can see where you want to be a shoulder to cry on for your friend; but I have seen plenty of drama-filled couples/relationships ruin the relationships of those around them simply because they become very needy, and take up your time. As important as friends are; I think that you need to focus on your own relationship. :/

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

Personally... I'd stay out of it. Only because I've gotten completely burned trying to help friends out.

Amanda said...

Man, that's a crappy situation, but I'd say try to keep your distance & set your boundaries with your friends. Keep it simple with any advice. There's only so much you can really help. They have to decide for themselves.

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