That picture right there pretty much sums it up. Messes. Last night I took an hour to de-tangle my favorite two pieces of jewelry. My favorite necklace was holding on tight to my favorite pair of dangling earrings. It was pretty bad too because it was one of those tight knots with no wiggle room. I pulled a few times at first but realized if I did that I could lose both pieces. So I sat & took my time & gently undid the necklace clasp & tried to slowly unhook all the tangles. It was a mess of black and silver. But isn’t that EXACTLY how life is? You get yourself into messes & you hope & hope that you can clear it up or detangle the intricate web you’ve weaved.
This condo ordeal has become a disaster to me. We finally got someone on the phone & of course there was no updated information. It’s been 3 months now since I said, “I’ll take it”. Parts that should have taken days have taken weeks & now months. I feel powerless. That’s a common feeling in your 20’s. Even after my temper tantrum, yes I yelled & screamed but got no where. I’m currently not speaking to my mother because she basically did this whole condo thing while I was at work. She is unemployed right now so she said she would help with this process. Everything anyone has told her or I has turned into fluffy lies. So much time has gone by that I don’t even know that I want the condo anymore. I should have kept my mouth shut that day I saw the listing on the computer. There is pretty much NOTHING I can do to make this go faster. It’s making me very stressed & very depressed I have to say.
Momentary Bliss is also sometimes a condition of being a twenty-something. You can be happy & on cloud nine & BAM that magic carpet will go back to the Disney screen & you will be left falling through the air. It’s a rollercoaster of cause & effect & every action will then cause a reaction. I was happy Monday morning & then stepped into my parent’s house & found out the incompetency of the people handling my mortgage. My mood just crashed. I’m trying to think of something to do, but it’s too late. I’m stuck with the decisions that have been made. I’ve been having such good days but reality creeped back in.
Comic Con is the weekend but frankly I can’t afford to go. I can’t dress up as an alternate person to please some fan kids because right now I can barely keep a hold on myself. I need to be me. That’s something that will run rampant through the streets of your mind. The sense of who you are. I’m not a dominant person but this powerless struggle I’m in to get this condo is wearing me thin. It’s been a bad day. A very bad day & I don’t know what to do with this condo situation. Sigh.
I promise tomorrow I’ll have a better post that is uplifting but this is part of my story. I have to include the good with the bad. I somehow have to clear up this mess.