Monday, August 2, 2010

What else am I to do?


Well today kinda threw me for a loop. I've been dating my boyfriend now for about 2 months & everything is going better than I can ever imagine. But then today happened. So I invited CJ over for dinner tonight & as we were sitting he pulled this rabbit out of his hat...

"So Melanie I think your out of my league."

Uhhh what? I asked him why & he kinda didn't give me a straight answer. He didn't break up with me but I took his head in my hands & gave him a huge kiss to try to make him feel that I want to be with him. All through the night he was like "How are you Mel?" & "Am I enough for you?" & "Are you sure your happy?". My head is in spins right now.

I bought him the Mets tickets this weekend I went with him & I joined him in Chicago. I faced my fears for him to go on a plane, I've gone to numerous family events with him & I'm trying to be affectionate but not clingy so I'm at a loss at the moment. I keep saying I'm so happy & that I'm so lucky to have him too. I hugged him real tight & kissed him goodbye tonight & made plans for Wednesday night so I'm like huh? I wonder who maybe telling him that I'm out of his league?? I have NEVER mentioned that I even had a doubt about him & he's all like, "Maybe we'll change, people change". It's only been 2 & half months so I don't know why he's freaking out?


He did tell me he's falling for me hard. Maybe he's scared that I won't love him back? I don't want to pull the "Love" card so soon in the relationship but maybe I have to. I put that we were official on facebook & tagged myself with him so I don't know what else to do for him to prove to him I want to be with him?? I snuggle up with him & laugh with him watching movies so I'm really puzzled.....I did act a lil tired this weekend & kinda passed out while he was playing the guitar so I hope he doesn't think I bore him? He said I act formal by inviting him over for dinner instead of just telling him, be here for dinner at 6:30. But I find it polite? Isn't it?

I told him he was the best boyfriend I've ever had which is the truth. I told him I'm so happy with a huge smile on my face & I try to kiss him with feeling. What else can I do? It's like he's preparing for me to leave even tho I'm not going anywhere. I don't get it. I don't think I've given him one single inkling that I want out so what's up with this? He's my lobster. He might be my other half I've been searching for & I'm freaking out because I want to keep him.

I need a lil help here. If not advice, maybe a similar story & what you did? Beyond the obvious how do you assure to your boyfriend that your his girl? I want to be with him & only him. Saying it with a big passionate kiss isn't enough apparently???

25 comments:

tess said...

hmm that is unexpected. I think you two are really meant for each other and just like you're still excited that you're finally with a great guy maybe he also feels the same way? that he's finally found the right girl and he almost can't believe it? Don't worry about it unless he keeps bringing it up, but I think it was just a moment of sweet honesty

Golden said...

Hi dearie! I want to say thank you for joining my giveaway and for following my blog.

Aww, I don't really know what to say. Hmm, trust your intuition. Ask yourself if this guy really loves you.

Waa! I suck at giving advice to people.

Lots of love,

Silver Strands said...

At first glance it appears he's insecure. But I wonder Sweetie ... I think maybe he could be feeling a little guilt about something. Check it all out and make sure you don't get hurt, ok?
oxoxo
Denalee

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

He sounds waaay to emotionally needy, but maybe it is that he was just having a minute of honesty.

Alicia said...

honestly i think that its quite normal to go through those feelings...when you truly care for someone you fear losing them... maybe that's what he's going through now. i would just continue doing what you are doing...he'll realize soon enough!!

Erika ~TiptoeButterfly~ said...

i'm not one for advice - but do NOT say "love" after 2.5 months - i know i would run the other way!!! ..

*kiss kiss*
Erika
~Tiptoe Butterfly~

just call me jo said...

I too hestitate to give advice. My first impulse is to say that he's kind of a turd to use that trite excuse. Maybe, however, he just had a small anxiety attack and he'll pull his head out.

Susan said...

It's nice he feels he can be so honest with you and I reckon those kind of feelings are normal in the early stages of relationships- is the other person as in to me as i am them. etc. I wouldn't worry too much, just keep being yourself xx

Diana Mieczan said...

ahhh...I think he is just worried if you are really into him....but after all those things you wrote...I think you really tried to show him that you care:)
I am not too sure what to think of it all...I cant wait to hear about your date tomorrow....

Kisses sweetie and see you soon:)

C'est La Vie said...

hmmm
just be there for him...that's all ya can do now I guess.
i wonder what is making him feel this way though...

Jennifer said...

kudos for the 500 days pictures.

so, i'm going to be honest and blunt here, and i hope i don't make you sad from what i'm thinking of all this:

he's either really insecure about it, or he's doing what another guy i know started doing very shortly into a relationship: he started backing out and was trying to push you out first so you thought it was your idea.
does he have any ex's he's holding onto or that he was really close to and are still kind of in his life somehow?
that's what i happened with my friend jake... no matter how sweet they are, sometimes they think that's the easiest way to back out... by acting like they're not good enough and they hope if they keep saying something about it, then you'll believe it too and leave.

but, depending on how he is acting when he says it, he could just be incredibly insecure. maybe you should try the l-word.

P said...

I think it's a bit rubbish of him to say this in the first place and throw you in a tailspin like that. It's kinda sweet that he thinks you're out of his league but, like you say, you've done so much already to prove you're into him. I hope he can get over this - just remember though, it's HIS issue, not yours. You shouldn't be having to prove how much you want to be with him all the time - if he feels you are too good for him, he should be upping his game.

That's my opinion anyway! :)

Fingers crossed for you both, love! x

woodlandsblonde said...

It sounds like something is making him feel insecure...not sure what that is - you can only find out by communicating with him. Express to him how you feel - this is what love is though, picking each other back up, the reassurance, etc. Let him know you're there for him- in your eyes, he's the man that you deserve - if he doesn't think so, what can he do to be the man you deserve?

You wouldn't be 'claiming' him if you didn't want to, you are accepting all parts of him by being in this relationship- the good, the bad, the ugly, whatever it is- you're with him because it's him - reassure him that you don't want to change him - he's great and lovely in your eyes and you've never been happier :)!!!

It sounds like he needs words of affirmation - keep telling him that you appreciate him and use WORDS. The actions, i.e. kissing may not be working for him - tell him once every day what you like about him and how he makes you feel special.

Hope this helps :)!!

Kris said...

I feel like I am the only one who hasn't seen this. Need to get on that!

Kris said...

To be serious though, I think he's just a little scared. Hopefully he'll get over it. I don't have the best advice in the world when in comes to relationships but all I can say is to stay positive and not stress it.

Meghan said...

It sounds like you've been nothing but attentive and honest! As long as you are yourself, there is nothing to do but let him figure things out. It will all work out in the end! :)

Lady Grey said...

Just continue being your lovely self... sounds like he just needs time to accept that such a wonderful girl as yourself is smitten with him.

bananas. said...

what the hay? that's weird...maybe he's just so into you that's he preparing himself to being hurt b/c he thinks you aren't as into him.

god did that make any sense? i suck at relationship advice.

Front Row Mode said...

Loved that movie

Tc

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www.frontrowmode.blogspot.com

Sheri said...

Hmmmm I dunno how I'd take that either... has he had serious relationships before?

Connie @ SogniESorrisi said...

I think in cases like this actions speak louder than words. If you show him you want to be with him and that you care for him eventually he will get over his insecurity. Best of luck. xo

Heather Rose said...

Mel! It's been many moons, and I'm working on catching up!

I'm very happy to hear that things worked out with CJ, and I hope they continue to do so. I don't know what's up with him, but communication is key, so talk it out.

Happy Almost Birthday, Melanie! Oh, and I will totally find you on twitter! ^_^

Making everyday count.... said...

To me it sounds like he is a little insecure, I hope it works out for you:)

Heather Taylor said...

Maybe he hasn't had very good relationships in the past? I'm puzzled, I don't know what it could mean! Boys are confusing...

Cindy said...

Wow.... that is SO unattractive on anyone. I'm sorry he hit you with this. Why is he so incredibly insecure? Doesn't he know we want a blue prince that's brave and all put together by our side. Hhhhmmm... I guess give him some time. But this is screaming future stage 5 clinger and jealousy. Bleh.

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