Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I stepped up to the plate & asked him Why? & It worked...


I never knew what the real Bonnie & Clyde looked like until today. The above picture is what that legendary gangster couple looked like. I think the picture is really cute that he picked her up like that. I keep calling CJ my Clyde now. No we aren’t robbing any banks lately but we seem to be doing everything together & spending so much time together that it reminds me of them. I did a post a week or so ago about him that he believed he was “Out of my League” & asking me questions about “Am I enough for you” or “Do you still like me?”. Well I got up the nerve to flat out ask him,

“Hey what’s up with that? Is there anything I can do to make you feel more like I’m yours & more secure in our relationship?”

His response was that it’s not me it’s him. I’m apparently being a great girlfriend to him & from his past serious relationships he has been branded with some insecurities. He said they are likely to go away with time, but for me not to worry because it’s something he himself has to get over. He then gave me a compliment which pretty much sums it all up.

“You’re the first girl I’ve ever dated that I feel like I can actually trust. I know when you say you’re going to your Writer’s Club, you are actually there. I’m not even scared to leave you to go have a cigarette. I trust you Mel & that is new to me & awesome. This is new for me. I actually am having fun in this relationship & I don’t feel like I settled on you.”


So the girls he’s dated in the past must have been real pieces of work that he’s never been able to trust them and he’s always felt like he’s settled on girlfriends. Now he feels like he’s in this relationship because he wants to be. That’s fine by me. You have to get used to the person & see if you fit into the other’s life. This relationship is working & we both have to get over a few things from our past so I’m hoping we can do that together. I have my own baggage so I think we’re pretty much equal. I hope we can just still take it one day at a time.

Also I found out that all this doubt might be from his mother. His mom told me that she asks him all the time, “Are you guys still together? Is it still going good?” I have no fucking clue why she says this because I see her all the time so I’m like huh?? Maybe because she keeps asking him questions it’s putting doubt in his head that we don’t seem like we’re working. We are working & I think she needs to just let us have a relationship & not know every little detail.


Relationships aren’t easy & aren’t hard but you have to meet in the middle, you have to keep an open-mind, you have to take the other person as they come, & be yourself to them. One thing I really like about this relationship is that I’m totally myself in it. The fact that he can tell that I’m being honest & being myself is amazing. I feel like I’m in a successful relationship & I hope it continues. I love the fact that we were able to talk about this stuff too. I stepped up to the plate & got my answer. Yeah!! I might have found my Jack. <3

13 comments:

AmyK said...

I think you nailed it that you have to meet in the middle--you have to recognize that both parties have weaknesses and baggage. It's sad when someone thinks their baggage is endlessly worse than their partner's. I love my husband in spite of his baggage, and despite my own baggage, so it really bums me out when he thinks I'm out of his league!

Diana Mieczan said...

Glad you asked him...and what a wonderful answer...He is such a sweet guy...I am so glad that everything is so wonderful between you two:)...Kisses,sweetie pie:)

Ps: I bet you will love making food in your new place...Fun fun fun:)

Livi said...

that is so cute! Good for you, for getting your answers. Glad you are happy!!

The Shanner of Attention said...

this sounds like a beginning of a rockin' relationship!!! i'm happy for you.

The Owl's Closet said...

I really admire the honesty that you guys have in your relationship. It's definitely all about communication:) Melanie, I'm so glad that this could be the Jack that you're looking for! (hehe I still remember that post)

TheOwlsCloset.blogspot.com

Jennifer Fabulous said...

It's amazing how much previous girlfriends can mess up a guy. Sigh. But it takes time to heal and meeting the right girl to truly fix him, I think. ;)

I am so happy for you because you sound like you have a really awesome guy. I have no doubt you are a fantastic girlfriend. Just reading your blog proves to me how sweet and loyal and caring and funny and intelligent you are. Hell, if I were a guy, I'd date ya! Hehehe.

His mom needs to lay off a bit, but ya know she's probably just concerned about him b/c of his past relationships. She probably knows how much he got hurt in the past and just cares about him. I wouldn't worry about her asking him all those questions. She seems like just a concerned mom. Give it time and she will realize things have turned out pretty good for her son.

xoxo!

tess said...

I think this relationship is really healthy for both of you! You're both deserve to be happy and if you two can make each other happy than why not go for it? Just remember that you're always worth it Melanie, and if he ever pulls the insecurity stunt again its not your fault, but I do applaud you for just asking him about it, way to go for it, girl!

911 and the Randomness.. said...

Awesome! I'm happy for you Mel. and even better, he sounds like he's for real.

Brent said...

Sounds like a really healthy relationship with some good, open communication. I'm happy for you! Hope everything else has been good too. I've been out of the blogging game for a while, but I should be coming back. Take care!

Sunshine Sarah said...

I'm happy for you, Mel!
Not many couples are like that; I sure didn't found my half even though I know lots of guys, but hey, I'm 21, I have some more time to spend knowing other guys, maybe meeting my soul mate. A person like your CJ, someone who deserves what I got, a man who can say to me all those pretty words he said to you.
Lovely!

Sarah.

Dancing Branflake said...

Such a cute post! I'm so glad that you have found each other and know how to communicate with one another.

Amanda said...

Yay! I'm so happy for you! CJ sounds like a really good guy! :)

Heather Taylor said...

Mel, I love reading your adorable love posts! You guys are perfect for each other. So cute!

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