Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Please, can you please take the mask off? Or rather never put it on??
Well there have been quite a few things I’ve wanted to say about my last few days and it all boils down to this. People that I know in real life are two-face, meaning one way or another people seem to be putting on masks or rather taking them off right in front of me and I wish it would stop. I just can’t understand it. The people I’m talking about are the new people I’ve met as well as some old favorites.
Now the mask I’m wearing in the above picture is a cute lil Mardi Gras kitty mask. I look sweet & cute and it might make you think I’m a fun person who would buy a mask in the middle of February just to bring a smile to your face. (That was my actual purpose.) Behind it tho you can’t see that I have honey colored tired eyes, side bangs, a small mole on my left eyebrow, a button nose, & a minute scar above my left eye. See there is so much more that makes me who I am that I would LOVE to show you, but it’s hidden behind the mask. There is so much more to the friends I’ve met & the invisible masks, the games they are playing, are truly covering who they really are. Behind the masks my friends have put on I can’t see the asshole that he secretly is, I can’t see the drugs she does, I can’t see the lists of ex-gf’s he has, I don’t see the lost job, the stress, the anger or anything that these people really are. I can’t see the truth.
I wish I had seen who certain people really were because I wouldn’t have let them in my life. I had met a guy about a month ago but I didn’t write much about him because I was figuring out who he was. It was all a charade. All a game, all false. I found this out this weekend. He seemed nice, caring, fun, even musically talented. I know I never thought I’d try to date another drummer, but he was cute. He kissed me, then the nice guy mask came off. He started picking at all my faults, calling me a “Mess”, criticizing me for not wearing high-heels, arguing that I wasn’t drinking enough, yelling that I couldn’t parallel park right, and trying to order me around. I think I’ve had the shortest almost-relationship ever. 12 hours. I do not stand for any of that crap from a guy. I will never speak to this guy again because who the hell does he think he is. I guess he has commitment phobia or something. Whatever, not my problem he’s gone. I’m done. Honestly I’m not even upset about it because I don’t need an asshole like that in my life. I’d rather be single than put up with that. Bye jerk.
I wonder what makes people think they have to put a good-guy or nice-girl mask to win people over? Why not be yourself? Looking at this mask I would never want to wear it for more than a night, not my life. That cat mask was actually scratchy, uncomfortable, & I lost all depth perception in it. I only wore it for about 5 minutes because it was a lil suffocating. I wonder if those “Fake” people of the world feel like they are suffocating when they are lying and playing games to make themselves out to be something they are not?? I really wonder.
One thing through this experience with this guy & other people that I've learned is that eventually the masks come off. Eventually too the girdle comes off, the high-heels have to come off because your feet are dying, and the make-up even will have to take a rest. But those things are okay. Personality switches are not okay. I think one of the reasons why people stop being friends & relationships break up because people aren’t honest with each other. They don’t tell the truth. They HIDE out for a while behind the mask & then take it off later. That’s fucked up. I wish I had known the truth.
So I’m going to leave you guys with this one thought. Be yourself. Don’t hide behind a mask of a false person you’re not. I’m real. I’m really Melanie with the frousy hair & I guess I’m a bit of a mess but who isn’t? Everyone has their flaws and it’s what makes us unique. I’m happy to be who I am, so I’m going to take off the mask and try to never put a full mask on to people I meet & know. I hope you remember to take the mask off too when you can.