Sunday, February 7, 2010

Just one post. Ya gotta give me one post.


My favorite holiday is February 15th. What seems to be the weight of the largest elephant will be off my shoulders. My favorite color is red but it won't be this week. I'm sorry. I promise not to whine, bitch, cry, or rant about next Sunday at all, except for this One SINGLE post. The reason why I'm going to do it is...it's part of the story that is my life.

I don't have a boyfriend. I'm trying to find someone that I can maybe possibly connect with but I'm drawing a blank. I've met 2 guys in the past 3 weeks. Each have asked for my number & then Never used it. Frankly I'm kinda happy because one of them I found out was a drug addict & when I told him I didn't do drugs it was like a turn-off switch. The other...who knows. I wouldn't be that sad, I would just get back on the horse & try again but the looming date of February 14th really does have me just sitting alone watching, "Titanic" asking so what am I doing wrong? I refuse to be something I'm not but geez I'm starting to feel like a the fuzzy gummy bear you find stuck under a bus seat. Did I like wear my shirt on backwards or something?!?! Is my masacara too runny?? Is my laugh not cutesy enough??

Last Valentine's day sucked. I even was dating someone at the time but he gave me this line days before,

"I can't hang out with you on Valentine's Day because I'm taking my mom to see the new Underworld movie, we should hang out next week."

Yeah, I wasn't born yesterday. It was a lie. When I hung out with him the next week he called me the WRONG name at an pretty awful time. So Underworld with his "Mom" was a good movie...what a prick.

The Valentine's day before last year in 08' was worse. I was dating Drummer Boy and when he found out I had bought lingerie he freaked out. He thought I was trying to make the relationship more serious by buying lingerie specifically for him. I had explained I was just trying to just wear something sexy...he freaked & we had a fight. He thought I wanted more out of the relationship then he wanted to give. I told him "All I wanted was a boyfriend to spend the day with & enjoy it with me". The lingerie was too serious tho. What if I had said, "I love you". I fear what might have happened. Whatever...I'm so over that.

I'm not sure why I'm posting this. It's actually my 25th Half-Birthday today. 25 years. I planned on doing a post about that like a list of 25 things to do before my birthday but meh. I didn't feel like it. I don't feel like I'm where I imagined I would be at this age. I'm just passing time to better things come along but I really wish there wasn't a day out of the year designed to make a single person feel lonely.

It's cool tho, the sun will come up, I will clean for the day, maybe go get my nails done, come home watch TV & go to bed. The sun will come up tho on February 15th. I can't wait. I can't wait to get in my car next Monday go to work & take a sigh of relief that the day before will be over. If there happens to be some weird eclipse thing so there is no sun at 8am on February 15th tho I might go literally insane. lol.

All I want is just a guy to want to spend the day with me & maybe kiss me goodnight & maybe call me when he asks for my number. No flowers needed, no candy. I'm good. I just want someone to spend time with me & want to.

Okay I'm done. I needed to let that out. Regular scheduling programming will resume.

Cupid, don't draw back your bow
Sam Cooke didn't know what I know
I'll never be your valentine
The sleepwalker in me
And God only know that I've tried...
-"Sleepwalker" The Wallflowers
.

42 comments:

Abby Kihano said...

Girl, who needs Valentine's Day? Go out and treat yourself :] Go to a movie and brush everyone off!

Better yet, on Valentine's Day... turn off your phone and do something you've always wanted to do. Don't stay at home.

Valentine's Day is the day of LOVE. And what better LOVE is it than to love yourself first :]

And forget all the other guys that you've dated. One word. Pricks! I know. I bet you're a great girl! Don't look for love. Let love find you ;]

Aquiles Damiron-Alcantara said...

Mel,

I think that 2/14 is not a day about love, it is simply economists' way of commercializing the most important feeling a human being can feel.

Thus, not having someone to kiss you goodnight on 2/14 sucks as much as not having someone on the 15, 16, 17 and so....

Con aprecio,
Aquiles

kathleen said...

Listen, lady, this is your blog and you can write whatever it is you need to. Anyone who tells you that you can't be sad on Vday can suck it. Tell them I said so. :)

It's hard. I remember. When I was single, the hardest day for me was NYE. Looking around at all the smooching couples at the stroke of midnight made me want to hit myself in the face.

That guy is out there for you. I just know it.

Secretia said...

He is out there, and he wants the same thing you do. With luck you will discover each other, then you'll both have great happiness.

Secretia

Little Ms Blogger said...

Before I got divorced, I never understood why so many people hate Valentine's Day until ..... I was alone the 1st year after the divorce.

Fast forward, I'm happily married and my hubby asked where we should go to dinner to celebrate Valentine's Day. I said why don't we wait and just go the next weekend when things aren't so crazy. Yeah, like crazy would stop me from going to dinner.

I just saw the other side of Valentine's Day and like to treat it as if it is any other day now.

I understand your frustration with the holiday.

Barry said...

Mel, you're the kind of girl I looked for when I was single. You'll find him, and he'll be one lucky guy I promise you. Chin up sweetie.

Susan said...

I completely understand how upsetting Valentine's Day can be, it was pretty miserable when I was single, until (actually only about a month before I met my boyfriend, but how was I to know?!) the two (also single) guys I lived with dragged me out and we went to a bar and a club and had a really fun night- there are usually lots of other things to do other than staring at sickening couples in cheesy restaurants, so go out and try and have fun! Also- I'm sure you will meet a great guy soon, it's a cliche, but it really does happen when you stop looking!! xxxx

Juliana said...

Mel-I am your newest follower and I hope you will come by and follow back. Do not apologize for your post at all. I PROMISE you that you will find him and when you do it will be worth all the guys who were not worth your time. In the meantime pamper yourself. I think Valentines Day is stupid overall--so this week I am posting about love in general-like how we love our friends...dancing in the rain, blog comments, and loving ourselves more!

Leah said...

Melanie, when you get older, you'll laugh about all this stuff. Go out, enjoy yourself... He will find you!

Bathwater said...

Okay I was going to write a post about Valentines Day but I'm not sure I want to jump on the band wagon anymore. I'd be glad to spend the day with you and send you flowers though. I know it isn't the same but remember you are not the only one out there.

And Susan does have a point stop looking so hard and start enjoying what you are doing it will happen for you.

Andaje said...

My birthday is on February 13th - so Valentines Day have not been that big to me.... it actually got less important when a (now ex-)boyfriend came to my house with a basket full of red roses on the 14th and announced "Oh you know what - I forgot to give these to you yesterday"

I was speachless....??!! What the....!!! Don't ever say that you forgot your girlfriends birthday - in my case (since my birthday is the day before Valentines Day) he should just have said "Happy Valentines Day" - and I would never have known the truth....

Have for years been my own Valentine - my day of self-pampering....and this makes me forget, that I am single, because I am enjoying that day anyway even though it is not spent with a special one.

Melanie hang in there - he might just be around the next corner ....

perfectionishuman said...

'All I want is just a guy to want to spend the day with me & maybe kiss me goodnight & maybe call me when he asks for my number. No flowers needed, no candy. I'm good. I just want someone to spend time with me & want to.'
That sums up exactly what I've been feeling these past few months. It's not desperation or clinginess wanting to be with someone, I just want to hang out and maybe laugh at stupid things and enjoy it.

Kristin said...

Celebrate the day with some girlfriends. You love them too right? I'll be with my bestie on Feb. 14 and not the hubs. : )

P said...

You'll find one. We BOTH will. :)

I'm excited that you recognise half-birthdays too!

drollgirl said...

oh god. i hear you!!!

i have NEVER had a good valentine's day! ever! and it really doesn't matter. or does that sound defensive?!??!hahahah! it'll be ok. and a good man will come along for you soon. sometimes it takes a while. :)

Cee said...

Valentine's Day is basically pointless! Don't let it get to you!

Sadako said...

I agree with Abby. Have fun--do something you enjoy doing!

Seattle Kim D said...

Enjoy Valentine's Day, it's like the single girl's independence day. You could be stuck in a crappy relationship but instead your free to do what you want! :)

WhisperingWriter said...

I hope you find someone.

And I'm not doing a thing on Valentine's Day and I'm married.

Heather Taylor said...

Okay, if a guy I was with ever freaked about sexy lingerie I bought, I'd be all buh-bye to him and move on a more appreciating fish in the sea.
Your Valentine's will be great, do what you want to do! And remember the wise words of Beyonce, "If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it." Go single ladies!

Sophia said...

I feel the same way about February 14. I wish it wasn't a holiday that made many people feel left out, but it does make me feel that way. I will just have to pass the time doing something distracting.

Sophia
http://apoetscircus.blogspot.com/

Steve said...

Melanie,

You shouldn't give a damn about Valentines day. It's a sham designed purely to improve the profits of greeting cards companies and florists. A true relationship is greater than just one day. People buy gifts on Valentines day purely because of a sense of duty more than anything else.
Write a post on Feb 14th instead to your Knight who you do not yet know. :)

ChinkyGirLMeL said...

Hey sweetie. Valentine's day is just a commercial holiday to get people to buy gifts for each other. This Valentine's day, why not spend it with your single friends or family. Don't worry sweetie, you're prince charming will come, maybe not right now but he will definitely be worth the wait. =) Have a great week.

tess said...

Melanie, this was not ranty at all just honest. I appreciate your honesty at all times. I know I sound like a broken record compared to the other comments, but one day you will find the guy who doesn't go for the biggest flirt but the girl with the biggest heart. Eventually all of the cute laughs, dancing, and stroking the guys ego won't add up to anything, and there will be a guy who wants a genuine girl like you.

OceanDreams said...

Keep holding out for that guy Melanie, you deserve to find him and I think in the right timing you are. Thanks for your honesty, I have definitely been there and understand the need to want someone to be there with you on this day. I hope you make the day special for you because you are special!

Audrey Allure said...

aw well when i had no one to spend valentine's day with, i went out with a bunch of girls & had an amazing time :) i hope you have a wonderful day <3

Laura Trevey said...

Thanks for the visits! Have a bright, bold, and beautiful day ~~

xoxo

Tracie said...

You'll find him someday. I don't like Valentine's Day either and I'm married. Hang in there.

Kris said...

He took his MOM to see Underworld? Uhh....

Jaime said...

Amen- Vday is SOOO overrated. I had a bf last year and I was SICK on vday. Sucked. This year, no bf, but ya know what, 2/14 is just another day!

Mr. and Mrs. Stoneking said...

Hey, just came across your blog and wanted to comment on this particular post. Don't worry, you will find that Mr. Right and it will be well worth skipping over the Mr. Wrongs. He is out there, and you will have plenty more Valentines days to celebrate with that one special man.

Couture Carrie said...

Darling, your prince charming will come along when you least expect it. Just keep your heart open, and remember you are young and gorgeous!

xoxox,
CC

Michelle said...

I'm sure you'll find someone soon! Valentine's Day is overrated anyways, it's much better to be in love every single day than just with some guy for one day.

Iva said...

don't you worry one bit!! you go out there and enjoy your day! Its a day of all kinds of love, not just romantic ;) go out with your girlfriends and have a blast!

Jennifer Fabulous said...

Oh Mel...I have been one of your biggest fans for a long time now. So, I know what I'm talking about in the following:

You are pretty much every guy's dream girl. You are a fox. You are very intelligent. You are hilarious. You are a sweetheart.

Here is my theory. From past experience, (high school and college) it seemed like all the really hot girls dated complete douchebags and losers. I could never understand why. The more I think about it, the more I realized that nice guys are just too intimidated by you girls. They truly don't think they stand a chance, so they don't even bother. Instead, all the douchebags and losers, with the inflated egos, ask you girls out and it works for them. Ugh. What a frustrating cycle.

I wish I lived in your city and I could seriously help you find a decent guy. It would be kind of fun, actually. We could stalk, er, observe cute guys around town and find hilarious ways of getting their attention. Hehe.

You're way too pretty to stay single for long, so don't worry about that.

And V-Day is stupid. It is one of my least favorite holidays, single or taken. Ugh.

Love you!! xoxo

victoria.renee said...

valentine's day is what you make it! i had a blast last year making dinner with and giving gifts to girlfriends. the best part about v-day is that YOU get to decide what you want to make of it :)

Anything Fits a Naked Man said...

I think that's what I love about keeping a blog. You are allowed to write about however you're feeling, voice whatever you want to say, and you will always find people to comment to encourage and agree with you!

I'm sorry you're having a bad patch, but as someone a little older than you, I can promise you you'll get through this and better days are coming!! Hang in there, Girl!

Dustjacket Attic said...

Oh baby, I know the right guy will come along soon and treat you right. It's tough in between though.

Make the day what you would like,
xoxo

bananas. said...

for a second i thought you were going to write a post about me because your favorite holiday is also MY favorite holiday...MY BERFDAY!!!!

i could give two shits about v-day and i'm in a relationship. it's all about FEBRUARY 15TH!!! YEEE!!!!

My Favourite Things said...

Aw, sorry to hear you haven't had great Valentine's experiences...let me tell you though, I was single for a couple of Valentine's Days, and the day doesn't have to be about romantic love. One year my single girlfriends and I had a fun night out and treated ourselves, and one year I spent the day with my mom going for brunch and then shopping. Both years were memorable :)

If all else fails, new lingerie always makes a gal feel better! Come and enter my Valentine's Giveaway and you could win some!
http://myfavouritethings-chloe.blogspot.com/2010/01/valentines-giveaway.html

cornflakegirl74 said...

I totally hear you on V-day. I myself am also not a fan and this will be my first one in six years as a single lady. But I've decided not to wallow and to do something with my girlfriends as a way of celebrating my love for them for helping me through the rough patches in life. It sounds as though you've also experienced some pretty crummy ones in the past, so maybe this year can only bring good things?

The good news is that it falls on a Sunday this year. So if you work in any kind of office setting, at least you don't have to see the flowers come in. Because who needs that salt added to the wound?

Do something you love and rejoice in the things that make you happy :)
~*Charlotte (www.mypixieblog.com)

SogniSorrisi said...

I think Valentine's Day--like NYE--can suck sometimes because of the pressure to make it great.

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