When one area of your life comes back around...another becomes unbalanced. Work was really rough yesterday. Alot of work, deadlines, & piles of unsorted paperwork to be looked at...It's always something right?
Anywho tho, CJ and I are back on and I think we have the possibility of going stronger than ever. He hates talking on the phone but he's called me morning, noon, and night just to talk to me. We are laughing together at each other's jokes. He's taking the sweet moments to kiss me goodbye, not a rushed peck. He's taking my hand in his with passion and pride. He says, "I love you" while looking me straight in the eye. He must have really missed me in that week. Must have. BUT people have been asking me,
"Do you think this will all last? Is is just a honeymoon period?"
To be perfectly honest I have no idea...however I know the key to all of this. Honesty...yes definitely.
I have to apologize for not being completely honest with all of you when CJ and I were starting to have issues. Like I've said I thought it was his inner issue not me and I really had a hard time wrapping my head around it that my relationship was wavering. I wasn't in denial but I couldn't pinpoint what was wrong so it was hard to write about a phantom feeling I wasn't sure of. Thankfully the storm has passed but I have taken so much more out of this break I don't even think he realizes. In our conversations together I'm trying to be honest and I know he is too. Not blunt asshole just plain honesty.
For example...the guitar was issue with him and me. His band invited him over last night and I told him to go because he told me honestly that was what he wanted to do tonight. Completely fine by me, so we are going to chill today. Honesty with a twist of compromise...music to my ears... If he has had a bad day I told him please tell me....if I can't help, well then I'll just see him the next day. Instead of me being so touchy to him because I don't know what's wrong...he promised to tell me what he could so I don't worry. If I'm going to be more prone to cry because of a certain time of the month I have to tell him. I have to have my girl-time so he can have his equal guy-time. I think we both are ready to fight for this relationship and try...
I really hope this lasts on both our ends. I don't want to throw our relationship to the wolves. Never...I was trying to remove all my pics from Myspace before it eventually gets shut down and I found that there are so few pics of me smiling. Since I've met CJ, way after Myspace....every pic I'm smiling. That is worth fighting for....honestly....