Tuesday, June 7, 2011

It's Okay to Need Help...Really It's Okay...


Even though I pay my mortgage, get my own oil changes, can rack up a $600 credit card bill easily, have an adult relationship with a man, and can get tickets on my car there are times where I’m still considered a baby in the eyes of half my family. Not in how I act, but because I literally am the youngest member and there are times where because of it I just can’t step in and do enough which is breaking my heart lately. Completely and utterly.

On Sunday we got a phone call that my grandfather was taken to the hospital for an irregular heartbeat. We found out that his doctor had switched his heart medications for some stupid reason and he did not adjust well to the new ones, therefore they want to monitor him for any changes as the medication wears off. It is beyond me why a doctor would change meds on an 88 year old patient who is responding perfectly well to the other drugs…but who the fuck knows. Well my grandparents live an hour away from me in Connecticut so my grandmother had to come home to us for these past few days. She has slight dementia and I just feel so helpless with the situation that I can barely describe.

I’m so lucky to be gifted to still know and have my grandparents and seeing my grandmother upset about my grandfather is like 24 hour marathon of The Notebook. She is so sad but I keep trying to tell her that he’s going to be okay, that he’s in good hands, and that the man who stole her pencils 60 some odd years ago will come home to her on Thursday. He’s fine, they have him stable and he will come home Thursday it’s just letting it sink in. I haven’t been able to take off of work to stay with my grandmother during the day so my mother and aunt have been taking care of her. I of course have gotten some stolen time with her at night and have tried to help my mother when I can but I just feel guilty that I can’t help more. They are alone up there in Conneticut because they refuse to move down to where I live and our other relatives are and they say they are fine but I’m scared that they aren’t okay 24/7. What if she has a problem and my grandfather can’t get to her in time or worse… 

Everyone I guess is listening to me, I think, but I just feel like I’m not heard enough because I am still the one of the babies of the family. My parents and aunt are “Taking Care” of things and they are doing an excellent job but I wish there was more we could do. Even with my other grandmother where I am the really the only acknowledged grandchild people seem to not be listening as what to do to help. I asked my grandfather to get a mechanical stair chair but he won’t do it for some reason or get a nurse to come in and visit my grandmother every few days or SOMETHING at least to Help but she doesn’t want anyone she doesn’t know to come to the house. It doesn’t help that we are all stubborn and have a few pride issues but if you need help it’s okay to ask. Sigh…I don’t know what to do. 

I’m going to steal some more of my grandmother’s time til Thursday and hope everything turns out alright. Maybe when things are calmer I’ll talk to them all again and voice my concerns. I’ll wait til after Thursday…

14 comments:

Shannon said...

argh - I'm mad for you that a doctor would change up someone's medication. If it's not broken, don't fix it!!

Glad to hear he's doing ok. And good luck with the family. :)

Dancing Branflake said...

I am so sorry for this stressful time. I know how you feel about being the younger one. I know that your presence with your grandmother is such a wonderful gift to her and your family.

abby | ybba said...

Your grandma is so lovely for worrying about your grandpa! I think it's the cutest thing. It does make me think of The Notebook. Gosh, being in love that long must be an amazing feeling.

Hey, I'm happy that your gramps is doing fine! Doctors are so weird sometimes, but I know he changed it for a reason. Prolly thinking that it would do him pretty well. I really hope he feels better! I love grandpas! HAHAHAHA! I grew up with my grandpa so... my heart goes to you!

-Abby

Krystal said...

I know how hard these situations can be :( enjoy the time with your gma it is definitely precious!

drollgirl said...

i hope everything is going to be ok.

the older folks don't want to move or lose their independence. it can become so difficult, and eventually impossible, as it did with my grandparents. they eventually had to be moved to a place that could care for them. my grandpa had alzheimer's and dementia, and my grandma couldn't speak (due to a stroke years and years ago) and could barely walk. eventually it was just impossible for my parents to take care of them from far away, and they had to be moved near to my parents' home in a very small assisted living facility. they were NOT HAPPY about it. every night my grandpa packed up his bags and my grandma's bags and tried to run away. it was awful. he eventually passed away, and my grandma is now at the assisted living facility without him.

elder care is one of most difficult things to deal with, and we just want the best for them.

bananas. said...

i hear ya...i'm technically the "baby" of the family too so i totally understand.

but when it comes to situations like this, it all comes down to family and you just gotta be there for them...in good, bad and sad.

hope everything turns out okay.

Claire M. said...

This photo was from the movie "The Notebook". Its one of my favorite movie ;)

Erika @ ~TiptoeButterfly~ said...

i LOVE u watched the Notebook with ur grams!!!! - i feel u girl! - do what you can - some peopkle (like myself) are just DO'ers and like to have the control - maybe that's the issue - and they don't want to burden you with "everything" going on - just voice u want to help - do what you can - and know your heart is in the perfect place!

wishing u the best and speedy recovery to ur grams!

Audrey Allure said...

Aw, well I'm glad your grandfather is doing okay; I hope your grandmother is doing alright as well! Definitely try to spend as much time with her as you could - I know I wish I could have spent more time with my own grandmother.

Cafe Fashionista said...

Awww...the relationship between your grandmother and grandfather is just precious. I'm glad to hear that he's on the mend; and I hope that people start listening to you, as an adult, as opposed to seeing you as a child. :)

LenoreNeverM♡re said...

Med team can be too much to handle sometimes! Cheers to all the wonderful family support!!
All the best Melanie~

Diana Mieczan said...

Ohh Im so sorry about your grandpa and I hope he will feel better soon. Enjoy your time with grandma and see you later, darling
Kisses

Mo Pie, Please said...

I hope everything gets better for you - sounds like you're going through a serious rough patch. Good luck and hang in there!

Sheri said...

So sorry to hear about that :( I know what you mean about not being heard. It is hard, but if you are persistant enough, they will listen. :) ::hugs::

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