When you enter a relationship there is those glorious first months where you want to spend endless time being that couple. Going to the movies, cuddling under the blanket playing with your boyfriend’s cats, romantic dinner for two where he will suddenly kiss you in the middle of a Hibachi show with the onion volcano just because you reacted too cutely, and lil slumber parties where you tell each other your secrets to name a token few things. BUT then you two realize, “Oh wait I have a life and friends and sometimes a Beer festival and commitments and cupcake classes and school and…” so you have to part ways for a sequence of time to live your individual lives. But where did I go? Where did he go? Uhhh this could be an issue...
How Do You Keep Being YOURSELF in the Relationship?
How Much Should You Adapt?
How Much Should You Adapt?
It occurred to me this Saturday while I was at the Beer festival that I was doing my own thing without CJ on a Saturday, yet it was barely my thing at all. I wasted a whole day to get some extra cash. Yes it was fun & great that I got some extra money but it made me think what else I could be doing with this time that I spent being “ME” and not a “We” or an “Us”.
I ran into an old friend there who I hadn’t seen in almost year and he asked me, “Hey how’s your Zombie novel coming along?” I got a lil flustered and embarrassed to tell him that I haven’t really done anything with it. He asked me why I responded that I didn’t really have the time. It upset me. He then asked what I’ve been up to and I told him about all the wonderful things I’ve done with CJ. The friend was like Oh cool then left to go drink more beer. BUT it got me thinking…
I love my boyfriend more than any other & please don’t think I’m saying “Geez all I’ve done is relationship stuff for the past 8 months or so & bitching” because I’m not. I’m just realizing I’m letting ALL my time to be consumed by constant things ALLLL across my life board & saying too many “Oh I’ll go, or we should go or defaulting that I’m going here or there” so I’m forgetting about a lot of other things I want to do. I think I have to start learning how to say “No” or balance my time better or remember how much I like to write not only here, I love to ice skate, I love to go thrift stores & tag sales Saturday mornings, I love to make collages and scrapbooking, seeing movies that are not just guy friendly ones, I like to bake not always eat out, and so much more.
I think I need a lil extra time in the week to do something I want to do so I feel more like myself in my relationship. I had my dreams and told CJ & he said “Babe I’ll back you up 100%” so I’m pretty sure he’ll be cool with me spending a lil time to myself besides just a Tuesday or an afternoon on the weekend. Or I could be writing my book while he's playing the guitar? Hmmm... He liked me just as I was so I want to be that girl and not be a tired frazzled mess that I feel like I’ve been lately. I’m going to try…I'll talk to him about this tomorrow...Honesty works best. Anything to make the "We" & "US" work better. =)