Sunday, February 20, 2011

I'll Follow You Into The Dark...


Thank you everyone for your awesome words. It made me feel  lucky to have such good blogging friends like all of you. I was so upset I can't believe I wrote "Half" instead of "Have". Sorry about that. The news I got on Friday was initially a shock but now I'm more upset. But that's normal. I have to look at the positives & possibilities, but this weekend all I could dwell on was the lack of paycheck & my health insurance. BUT I do have mortgage insurance & I can collect unemployment if I don't get a job right away. I...this is definitely what growing up is; ups & downs. Being in the dark...

Inevitably my weekend got a lil fucked up. I haven't cried like this in months...probably since before I met CJ. I should have been more open & honest with him how upset I was. I think that's a problem us women do. We assume they see how upset we are & expect them to be magically sympathetic in every way we imagine in our head & when they aren't we get mad. I should told him that I just wanted him to say, "I'm Sorry for you, babe" and hold me while I cried. Eventually he scooped me into his arms & did just that. I think I feared having a fight too much that I just didn't speak my mind. I have to work on that. He sang, "I will Follow you into the Dark" by Deathcab for a cutie too. I love him so much, so so much.

11:11pm...Make a wish. I have to re-enter the job market after 4 years. I knew eventually I had to leave his company but not with such a strict deadline. I got too comfortable I think. I used to be a data analyst/adminstrative assistant type deal. I have a Bachelor's in Math & an Associate's degree in Engineering Science and job experience. It'll be okay. These next few weeks I have to try my best to push forward & write a damn good cover letter. I have to.

I just crashed on Friday night & I even talked gibberish in my sleep from stress. This is hard, very hard. I still have a month & a half left of work so I have to still have to put in my 110%. Sigh...this is going to be rough.

I do have a giveaway for later on Monday to lighten the mood. Thank you all again for such support & lovely thoughts. I needed them. Thank you truly. =)

Btw, Krysten of  After "I Do" is the Winner of my CSN STORES giveaway! Please email me when you get a chance. =)

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19 comments:

Barry said...

It's 1:30 in the morning and I was just about to go to bed when I saw this. How could I not take some time to say a few words to one of my most favourite blogging friends? :)

I know it seems things are crashing around you Mel. But I also know you're strong, you've been through a lot and you've pushed through. You will again.

I know there's not always a lot someone can say to change that or take those feelings away. But it's important to remember you have friends around who care. I do Mel, and I'm always here.

xoxo

Dancing Branflake said...

You will get through this. You are so talented and driven and have so much passion for life. I have nothing but hope for you.

Froso M. said...

I hope everything will be okay for you in the end, I am wishing you all the luck!

Have a nice week!
Froso from Style Nirvana

Wendy said...

You know the old cliche "when one door closes another door opens"? I have a feeling that you will find a job that is better and pays more. Regardless, I'm sending you lot's of positive thoughts.

(CJ singing to you is too sweet. Lol, he is making the other boyfriends look bad.)

Everything is going to be ok. :)

Scientific Housewife said...

I absolutely love that song, and Death Cab for that matter <3

tess said...

Wow, Melanie I am so sorry to hear you lost your job. This is a tough time and you deserve the time to cry over it, but now may finally be the chance to use your degree. I know you've been thinking about it for awhile, so even with this unexpected push to do something about it, you still might win out and be happier in the end. Best of luck though!

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

Allow yourself some time to feel bad. I think we're all told to think of the positive but you need time to feel sad too.

But you will get through this. And life will go on. And like you said, you have your degree and you have experience. You'll bounce back.

Sending you an email now!

*Simply Colette* said...

I'm sorry hun about your job. :( Thinking of you!

OneCraftyFox said...

Oh sweetie, I am SO sorry to hear all of this :( Believe me, I have been in the exact same situation twice, so I can appreciate exactly what you are going through... and it is damn hard.

Not to take away from you of course... sending lots of thoughts and hugs your way. And you will find something WAY better that will kick your old jobs ass, lol!

Chrissy said...

How sweet of him...we do always expect them to read our minds...I do, too! And then I get upset when he doesn't know what;s going on...well, men...
Wishing you all the best for your job search - you will find something a lot better! xxx

Krystal said...

aww you will be ok. maybe this is the best thing to happen ever and you'll find an amazing job!

Cafe Fashionista said...

I'm so sorry, Melanie. I truly hope that this is a blessing in disguise, and that you'll be able to turn this situation around. You are such a brave, strong person, Melanie; you will unquestionably overcome this. :)

Heart Charlie said...

Awww Cj sounds adorable! I know this is a hard time for you, but it's also a great opportunity to start on a new adventure and new challenges. At least they gave you some notice, I know a lot of people who have been laid off, day of and that is awful. You will be ok!!!

Meghan said...

Aww. I am so sorry to hear the news. You are lucky to have such a sweet guy to help you get through it - and you will! My husband lost his job two years ago due to the bad economy. He ended up starting his own business and it's the best thing that ever happened to him - besides me, of course:) Good luck!

Diana Mieczan said...

Ohh I am so sorry, darling! I know that this must be so hard for you but I bet you will find an amazing job soon:) Sending you kisses, darling

Rachael said...

You guy sounds so adorable and loving. I'm so glad you've found someone special.

Mo Pie, Please said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your job situation. Times are tough for so many people right now, it hurts to think about. Be glad you have the amount of time left that you do have, it will help you out in the end. This must be a blessing in disguise...I can just feel it. I know it's hard to think that way at this point but be optimistic, it's the best way to approach it! Good luck :)

PS - Bachelors in math?! You go girl!

Kristin said...

Hang in there sweets. I'll be praying that you find something!

Bathwater said...

Don't worry Mel once you face this you will find that you can survive this too and come out better off after.

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