Thursday, February 10, 2011

I Just Called to Say "I Love You" & I Mean It From the Bottom of My Heart...


There really should be a law that no drama can happen before someone has had their morning coffee, especially when it’s NOT your own drama. At work like I said I’m the spokeswoman for Venus aka all the females of the world because they think asking one is asking the collective, so I heard the latest bit of relationship drama. I feel bad airing Michigan’s (Let’s call my co-worker that) dirty laundry but his story this morning left an imprint on me. All he wanted to do was tell his girlfriend that he missed her…that was it. I’ll explain…


Everyone has emotional baggage unless you were literally born yesterday. It’s a fact, but its okay. But when you in a relationship I don’t think it’s right to constantly hold that baggage over your new person’s head because they are not your ex & they weren’t there. Yes you’ve been hurt, we all have been there, and it’s important that you find traits in this new person that isn’t like your ex and maybe just maybe some of that baggage will disappear over time and your heart might get healed. Also understandably so that you will put some guards up around your vulnerable heart so you don’t get hurt again. I’ve done that many MANY times so trust me I know. BUT you have to let this new person try to love you or the relationship will crumble sadly.

Michigan is dating this new girl who was emotional dragged through the gutter it seems & she apparently doesn’t like hearing words like “I miss you”, “I love you”, “I like you”, “I want to be with you” because her ex said them to her & she doesn’t want get hurt by those words again. So he’s like “I don’t know what to do? I kiss her hello, I hold her before she goes to bed, I talk to her all the time, I put in a relationship on facebook, I’m honest with her, I tell her that I want to be her man…etc.” however this girl it is just not registering with her that he likes her even tho he is her boyfriend. I’ve never met the girl before so I don’t know if she is looking for a way out or not but I told him to just continue doing what comes natural. If you want to kiss her do it, if you miss her say it, if you want to see her and smile do it.


There are many ways to say “I like you” and “I love you” and I wonder what it is for this girl? When Cj comes in and hugs me hello and does that extra squeeze I realize BAM there it is. That’s the love. Moving my hair behind my ear before he kisses me BAM it’s there again. (Yes, I love Zombieland too). But Michigan’s girl….I don’t know what else to say to him…Just be you.

Today is Thrusday, February 10 & I hope you tell someone or show someone today how much they mean to you. We all don’t need one day a year to give a person a hug. It should be everyday. So share the love everyone. <3


“But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. Valerie.” – V for Vendetta


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17 comments:

The Shanner of Attention said...

you seriously find the best pictures for your blog posts.

Pink Flower said...

Aw I feel for your friend, he shouldn't have to feel like he can't say the things he feels or wants to because it doesn't suit her. A million girls would love to date a guy like him - that's so open and honest and wanting to talk about and share his feelings.

I hope everything works out for him.

Dancing Branflake said...

I can totally relate to his girlfriend in that there's a wall that is not easy to take down. If he wants he should give it time. If he doesn't then he should walk away because that's what she's expecting him to do anyway.

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

When I started dating my hubs I picked fights with him ALL THE TIME because that's how my ex and I were, always fighting. It got to the point where my hubs finally turned to me and told me that it needed to stop or we needed to break up. Needless to say it was a huge wake up call - sometimes I didn't even realize what I was doing because I was SO USED to being in a relationship where fighting always happened.

Luckily, we worked things out and have been together 5 and a half years. But sometimes it's SO HARD to get over that past baggage!

Katy Mary said...

Great advice Melanie! It actually sounds like Michigan's gf is really insecure and aside from being himself and being loving there isn't much he can do.

Wendy said...

Ugh, Melanie, drama before coffee is never good. Honestly, it sounds like she isn't that in to Michigan. If she was, she would be eating up the affection. More importantly, if she was, he ex-bf's past actions would have no impact on someone saying something as simple (and sweet) as "I miss you".

I couldn't agree more, we should share the love everyday. Wishing your friend luck and for your Friday to be drama free.

*Simply Colette* said...

There is nothing sweeter than someone tucking your hair behind your ear... :)

Jennifer Fabulous said...

Perfect advice. :) But that does seem like a sad situation. Poor guy.

I have a friend who was in a similar situation. When she first started dating her guy six years ago, he was an emotional wreck b/c of his ex and still going through therapy for it. It almost destroyed them. Now, six years later, they are engaged and happy, and that ex is totally forgotten. Happy endings to happen in situations like this, it just takes time and understanding on both parts.

Leeann @ Join the Gossip said...

Great message. I think we've all pushed people away in relationships. I'm single but I hope that in my next relationship I am able to leave the crap from the past guys behind. I like how you stated it better than me, though.

abby | ybba said...

while me and my husband were dating, i kept telling him that actions speak louder than words. and he always acted . i agree with you... jus be himself {; i hope they work things out.

Brunch at Saks said...

What a tough situation- but you gave great advice!

xoxo

Krystal said...

I agree with your advice that he should be himself. After all, he shouldn't have to change to be in a relationship but rather be exactly who he is and comfortable.

Diana Mieczan said...

I think that with time she will open up to all that. It sounds like she was really hurt and it will take a bit of time for her to trust someone again. I totally agree with you, that its not always about saying those words. Its also about all the little looks or hugs:) Kisses, darling and wish you a full of cozy hugs Friday
Muah

Cafe Fashionista said...

You seriously give the most fantastic dating advice, Melanie; and CJ is such a sweetheart to you. I so hope that things work out between your friend and his girlfriend - he sounds like a great guy!! :)

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Rachel said...

I know it can be really hard to let go of all the baggage and problems from past relationships for some people. Sometimes it just takes time and maybe even a new person to help heal those wounds. But I completely agree that it's so important to let it go and move on. And it sounds like this girl isn't even trying! It's a little ridiculous to me because it's clear this guy really likes her but the whole idea of him loving her seems to really freak her out. I don't know what he can possibly do other than to be himself and just continue to show his love for her and maybe one day she'll realize it before she loses a guy that sounds great!

drollgirl said...

dude. that chick has issues. ay yi yi! we all do, but wow. i hope they can overcome this! there are much worse things in life than being told that you are loved and that you are missed. yeesh!

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