Sunday, November 28, 2010

Because your mine...I walked the line...

{Hey Everybody I’m back. I made it to everything this holiday & still have a bit of my sanity. I’m going to be posting about my holiday tomorrow. I have another post for today.}
 
A few days before Thanksgiving a familiar tightness in my heart returned to me. Stress sometimes will give me this uneasy feeling but it was something more, but WHAT was it?? What was giving me this dread in the back of my mind? What was bothering me so greatly?

This Black Friday was the 6 Month anniversary of CJ & mine’s First date. Six months ago…I arrived at the restaurant after circling it for 15 minutes lost.  A cute man stood with a single beautiful red rose by side of the parking lot looking nervous as hell. I walked up to him with a smile from ear to ear. He was the first guy to ever truly ask me out on a date. We tried to pack my 24 years & his 28 years of stories into one night. We didn’t even scratch the surface so I knew I had to see him again. It was so new & fresh that I had to see him again…
That day was something so special to me I told CJ I wanted to do something this past Friday to celebrate. I’ll admit I haven’t many successful relationships so 6 months is HUGE to me. BUT somehow my hints didn’t get through. He told me Happy Anniversary after a reminder & that was it. The weekend got packed with stuff to do every second & none of it included him & I spending any alone time together to celebrate our relationship. I kept hoping he would say ohhh we’ll celebrate tomorrow or the next day or after this will do something ourselves or I love you we should have a date night or ANYTHING that was just the two of us…it never came, he never said a word after. 

I thought I'd maybe get Sunday but he made plans with his friends & was rushing us to watch a movie because of it & I lost it. He made a comment how we don’t fight & I laid the cards on the table. I was upset that he didn’t think our anniversary was important enough to do anything for it. I told him how I was giving him hints, reminded him how I told him repeatedly that I wanted to do something & just because on the day we were busy it didn’t mean I wanted us to forget about it….I know men sometimes just don’t get the picture but I had enough.

The look of “OH SHIT I fucked up” scarred his face for what seemed an hour. A minute went by & he just looked at me & said, “I missed this. I really fucking missed this. I'm sorry Melanie, Ohh shit I'm sorry.” Apparently no one he’s ever dated made a fuss about their anniversary & wanted to celebrate his relationship with them so he forgot how another person could see it as important. I told him how much I loved him & how special he was to me & he apologized for ignoring my hints & me. It wasn’t a fight but an eye-opener. He told me he could be alone but ever since he met me he never wants to be alone again.  

Today I realized the pain stopped in my chest. I decided to write about this to Remember that communication is KEY in a relationship & if you love someone tell them. Let them know that they are important to you & that you want them in your life. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind because the result could be a better more honest relationship. 

Johnny & June Cash
We spent this morning together just the two of us. That’s all I wanted & I’m so happy & relieved I said something. *Letting out the breath I was totally holding*…Whew.
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20 comments:

Christopher said...

awww, hope you crazy kids make it

The Shanner of Attention said...

It sounds like what causes issues in my relationship too. I hold onto something instead of casually talking to him about it. And then I hold on to the point where I get angry. And it could have easily been resolved with a simple conversation. Good lesson learned, my dear. :) And congrats on 6 months!

Audrey Allure said...

Congrats on the 6 months :) I'm glad you both talked it out and spent the morning together :)

tess said...

Expressing your opinion is the key to all relationships, not just boyfriends. It's unfortunate he didn't plan anything for your anniversary, but I'm glad you voiced your opinion. Like you said, telling someone how much you love them as well as grievances in the relationship is vital. Hopefully the honesty can continue in the future.

Dionne said...

That's great about reaching the 6 month mark, congrats!

I know how you feel. Men and women can think so differently, and we always hope they will know what we are thinking, but they don't, hahaha. But it's good to know that when you explained it to him, he took it to heart. That's the same with Brian. He doesn't think the same way I do, but when I explain things to him, he never makes the same mistake again.

You should read my post today about Love Languages. It relates a lot to this post of yours.

Cafe Fashionista said...

Awww...Melanie, the two of you are so incredibly adorable. You're right...communication is key in a relationship. I hope things are smooth sailing from here on out! :)

Nicole said...

Very interesting post and you are right, the key to every good relationship is communication!

Celia said...

congrats on the 6 months!!! :) so glad you talked to him!

avant garde said...

openess seems to be comfortable between you guys for the most part so that's very important. guys and women just think so differently for the most part and as long as each of us understands where the other is coming from and doesn't take offense, then we bounce off of each other nicely. glad to hear he respected how you felt. that has to be a sign of a great guy no? ;) happy monday!!!

Jaime @ La vie...J'aime said...

hope all works out- that's good to spend time together just you 2 :)

Hope you are enjoying your Monday!

Krystal said...

so glad it worked out in the end :) as much as it sucks sometimes you just have to tell guys exactly what you want!

drollgirl said...

ok, this post made me laugh. so happy it worked out!!!! guys don't seem to do well with hints. they need VERY DIRECT AND CLEAR COMMUNICATION! at least that has been my experience. they can't read our minds, and it is best if we just tell them what we want, need, expect. i sure wish we didn't have to lay it all on the line like that, but i think the longer you are with him, the more he will get to know you and your needs!

and congrats on 6 months! that is super!

theTsaritsa said...

Communication is key, it's true. And guys can be really thick-headed, you have to spell it out for them!

btd. said...

This is really beautiful. I'm so glad that he realized that it meant a lot to you and that you guys got to spend time alone together. :)

Jennifer said...

Oh, girl! I know exactly how you feel! I sometimes don't think to say things or hope my hints work and Trey just won't pick up on them sometimes and it's really frustrating. I've had to have a few heart-to-hears with him and even just breakdowns because I've just let it build-up. But he reminds me he wants to know when I'm upset even if I feel stupid for it, or when I have something on my mind, because that's what he's there for.

I hope you two stay together until the end, I'm trying to hold onto my boy for just as long.

Your stories with him are adorable, by the way. ;D <3

*Simply Colette* said...

6 months already! wow congrats :)

xoxo,
nicolette

Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

我 moi said...

Aw love rocks!

giaghani said...

Happy Anniversary!! :)

So refreshing to read about a relationship where you're able to be so honest about your feelings and communicate!

All the best to you both!

xo.

OceanDreams said...

Communication is certainly key, glad you two are still going strong and that you were able to talk things through - that is what counts!

Ninjagaiden78 said...

Awh, cute story. As far as him not remembering your anniversary, that is a true guy trait. But I am pretty sure he will make it up to you.

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