Thursday, May 20, 2010

I saw the sign...and it opened up my eyes???

In the confusing days that have been the past week I have been bombarded by a certain nagging thought in my head. A certain boy that I used to love had a birthday. I’ve tried my hardest to move on & I’ve made such progress that I would love to pat myself on the back. I let him go physically when he showed me the door but mentally it’s been hard. Break-ups are hard, that’s not new news for anyone. The reminders of him are starting to come fewer & fewer but that looming birthday of his brought him back to my thoughts like a runaway train. I will admit I texted him, “Happy Birthday”. I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have given him kindness, which is all I’ve ever given him, because he left me out in the cold alone…with not even the friendship left. I did get a reply from him of “Thanks dear!”. What the fuck?????? Why add the “dear” when you deleted me from your life? Who cares. It’s over…I didn’t expect anything to come from a simple text. I’ve been looking forward to my never-ending quest to find someone who at least would pick me up when I fell or fall right along with me.

BUT ever since that text I’m literally being haunted by signs of him. I’m not describing the “Oh we ate a strawberry once together…and now I’m eating one, I must cry now with the reminder.” No, it’s not like that. These are absolutely ridiculous things. I promised myself I wouldn’t analyze things about him anymore, but come on, this is driving me crazy… Here see for yourself:

Sign #1: Saw a friend on Friday night then he introduced me to his best friend. His best friend has the same name as the Mess. (Ok, he has a common name, didn’t bother me)

Sign #2: An hour later I make a face at the fact that the bar was playing “Tricky” by Run DMC in ohh um 2010 & some guy saw me & came over to ask why I made that face. We start talking…we get to the name part. He has the SAME NAME AGAIN as the Mess.

Sign #3: Next morning after the two guys with the same name as him, I go to an antique show in town. I’m walking around then BAM…I see 2 of the Mess’s aunts selling antiques. He does have 3 aunts but COME ON….they didn’t see me, but really? Did I really need to see them?

Sign #4: A day goes by & I’m blocking this all out of my head, & I go to a diner & then I look at the pie refrigerator……………Apparently the Mess’s name is a BRAND OF A PIE REFRIGERATOR!!!!! Big letters on the top of this guy’s name. I almost lost it. I had my friend with me double check the name so I wasn’t losing it. Nah, she saw his name too.

Okay…I don’t know what to think? Once…okay. Twice…creepy. Three & Four…wtf?? (I don’t curse much here but it’s needed now). I do believe in signs. I believe that if I have a bad feeling it’s for a reason. However all of this? I don’t know. People have told me that when someone should be in your life somehow you know. Some way it is made known to you. If he’s supposed to be in my life, well how come he left me countless times? How come I could never tell him how I truly feel? How come he’s so mean? How…there is too many of hows & too many whys. I just don’t want to drown. I don’t want to be plunged into all that madness again. I don’t want to sit & watch him be with someone else & treat her great while he treated me awful. So why the reminder? Why the signs?

What do you think all of this means? Nothing? Everything? Or I really need to just get all of this crap out of my head & just stick to the moving on plan? I’m all ears.


ChinkyGirLMeL said...

Hmmm...that is one too many signs/reminders of him. I say, try your best not to think of these signs, hang out with friends, or keep yourself busy because like you said, he closed the door on you. And that is not cool.

Jennifer Fabulous said...

That is strange. But maybe these are signs to move least I hope so. He is a total jerkface and treats you like crap. You are not meant to be with him, trust me.

I feel terrible for you though. It must be torture having all these signs thrust at you, reminders of a special relationship you once had. Sigh.

I know it seems far away, but one day when you're happy and in love with the man you're meant to be with, the Mess is going to start seeing signs of YOU everywhere and finally come to terms with his douchebagness and how he destroyed the only real friendship he ever had.

Being Brazen said...

There is something for you on my blog :)

Diana Mieczan said...

Brake-ups are always hard and it’s very hard to’s a process and it’s very normal. It will pass but it seems like it’s still very fresh for you!
I am so sorry but believe me..It will make you stronger!
Be open for it but don’t give much thought to it...If that makes sense...You will find the right one :)
Kisses my lovely :)

Audrey Allure said...

Well I think it's because you're thinking of him a lot, you see his name more than usual - although meeting those two guys was a bit coincidental, it is probably a common name.

The way you described how he treated you, you should definitely stick onto the moving on plan.


I think its perfect normal what you're going through. It will turn out alright in the end. Put your energy into positive things, that make you feel happy and worthy.

And keep your heart open to new love and finding your soul-mate.

Much Love Lisa.

Simply Colette said...

Hey Hun! I tried to leave you a comment the other night about sponsor an Etsy giveaway. I would love to give away a package of my photo cards if your interested.
xoxo :)

Cee said...

I feel like stuff like this always happens when you are thinking about someone! It sucks but try not to read too much into it!

Bathwater said...

I ave been plagued by my fair number of signs. They linger like crows on an freshly harvested field. I think we assign the meaning to them, until one day when we no longer even notice.

That will come when someone else enters your life or enough good things start happening to make you forget. Be patient and stop assigning meaning to these signs and start assigning meaning to new signs.

Silver Strands said...

Oh Melanie - that's a tough one. My experience is that the only way to get rid of thoughts I don't want to have is to replace them with other thoughts. I can't just tell a thought to go away ... So find something that you love, or makes you laugh, or is distracting in some way. Pick it out in the morning when you wake up - a silly nursery rhyme, words to a song, memories of your favorite place, etc. Pick it out and EVERY time he comes into your mind, force yourself to think, recite, whatever - on the thought you picked out for the morning. If you do this faithfully, eventually thoughts of him will completely go away.

Good luck with this sweetie.


Cafe Fashionista said...

Here's what I think...his birthday come up which put him on your mind; however, a lot of these "signs" may have been visible before, you simply didn't notice them because you weren't thinking of him at that time.

I went through a very similar situation last November; which, oddly enough, involved me texting "Happy, Happy Birthday!" to a jerk, who then replied with "Thanks darling." After that, everything pointed to him it seemed; but I ignored it all.

You call him the "Mess" for a reason. You don't need that person in your life. At times you may feel lonely, at times you may long to call/text him...don't! If you need a support system use us - don't get involved with the Mess Part 2. You may be looking for closure; but doing so gives him the upper hand - and boys with the upper hand are the biggest problems on the planet!! :)

Away with the fairy's said...

If its meant to be it will, but if this guy is as mean as you describe him then your better off without him! you'll find that someone who you like even better and then you'll feel happy that you moved on from this "mess"

BusyB said...

breaking up is hard and sometimes we make signs out of oranges. We start noticing things that draw us to what we had and we believe they are signs when really we are looking for those ourselves. Your better off... it takes time to heal

Roland D. Yeomans said...

Freud would say we see what we want to see. When we are thirsty, all we see are people drinking lustily. When we are lonely, all we seem to see are laughing couples.

Your heart wants the illusion of him caring. The reality is that he cared seldom and hurt a lot.

There are actually decent, caring, good-looking men out there. If you go back to one who is only one of those three, you will never find the one who is all three.

Been there {except with a woman} and it is no fun, Roland

tess said...

I think signs are useful in literature and films, but mean absolutely nothing in reality. you don't need him in your life again, ignore it

Tights Lover said...

I go back and forth on how much I really believe in stuff like that. I do have to admit, though, all of that in such a short amount of time is a bit eerie.

Still, I'm in the 'do nothing' camp. It sounds like things really didn't work out, and getting involved all over again will just lead to more frustration...

Erika ~TiptoeButterfly~ said...

i got ur button up and ur blog listed in the "link back" section!

can't wait to read more for ya!


Tower Farm said...

My brother and I have a habit of seeing and finding signs all over the place... So, I get it. But, try not to put too much weight in it. The universe has to have better things to be working on, you know?


Ally said...

ugh i am all about signs and it sucks. our heart says one thing but in reality we know deep down what the right thing to do is :( a friend once said something that is very true but at the time i didn't see it, 'we break up for a reason' :(

funny i just blogged about an ex bf recently saying i will never forget his birthday which drives me nuts, i'm married, we broke up in freakin' 1997 and i still remember his b'day ... awful.

CC said...

Wow, those sure a a lot of signs. I'm not a too big on the whole "signs" thing though. I mean, if you look hard enough you'll find things related everything and maybe that is what happened, you were subconsciously thinking about him and hence the signs.
The best solution if you ask me, is to go shopping. "A man will never love you or treat you as well as a store. If a man doesn't fit, you can't exchange him seven days later for a gorgeous cashmere sweater. And a store always smells good." ;)

Rachel said...

I can definitely relate to the signs. Sometimes you think they might mean something, but who knows. I think you should try to ignore it. Go out with your girl friends, go shopping, have fun! Get this Mess off your mind and see how things go.

woodlandsblonde said...

Good god Mel - I saw my ex's name a billion times. No joke. The guy I sat next to on the plane, in commercials, on a book (3x's) I wanted to purchase, walked in to a store and a little dog pops out - his nickname, it was everywhere.

BUT. The mind is an extremely powerful thing. You are seeing these things and "signs" because you are constantly thinking about him. You have to shift your focus - when you start thinking about him think about something productive or for your personal health.

I saw a ton of "signs" and I thought getting back together with him would make things different - that since the signs were so prevalent he was meant to be in my life. Did anything change or get better? No. Did he treat me any differently than he had? No. Did he learn anything? I'm not sure about that.

The point is, you're seeing these things because you are thinking about him all the time. Admittedly.

Shift your focus girl!

Pop Champagne said...

what's kind of creepy with all the signs! maybe you're only noticing them now that you're thinking of him? and yeah it would be weird to see Megan Fox starring as the queen of England. I don't think Id watch it either!!

Leah said...

I'd say it's your subconscious mind working... at the back of your mind, you still think of him. I don't think there was any closure. That's why you get reminded of him even in the littlest details.

Focus on something or someone else... it'll be good for you! xoxo

emilia. said...

try to have a good weekend, girl! find a fun hobby to do. i swear it works. :)

Susan said...

Oh that's so weird! Don't take it to mean anything though- if you weren't feeling so sensitive you might not even have noticed those things, I bet you have met other guys with the same name before. I expect its just bothering you so much cos of the birthday. xx

Heather Taylor said...

When I had that break-up with my ex, I saw him everywhere and constantly heard stories about him. I tried to not believe the signs or think about him at all, but it was too hard.
I'd try to focus on a different guy sweetie. Only because focusing so much on one guy could be bad for you and your inner sense of self. You'll find a super special guy who doesn't leave you guessing or wondering, I know it.

Ces't La Vie said...

hey girlie :)
i'm grabbin your button!


Rachel {Inspiration in Italy} said...

I'm sorry to hear he treated you so terribly. I say just try and go with the flow, and I think it is really normal to begin to see things around you that remind you of him. Eventually time will lead you either to him again or away from him, so try and just let go because something great might be around the corner! I hope that if time does lead you to him again, he will treat you better!!! :)

Happy Friday, Love.


Meghan said...

Hmm. That's a tough one. While I do believe that everything happens for a reason, I also believe that these things (love, relationships) always happen when you least expect it. I definitely agree with previous posts - do things for YOU and surround yourself with fun and friends.

Aron said...

I love that last sign!


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