Saturday, May 15, 2010

Have you ever been so done that you just can't even describe?

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I know this picture has snow in it but it was the only appropriate one I could find. I'm done. It's literally 4:14am in the morning in New York state and I've reached my limit. I've always been that kid who waited to the last minute to finish a report the night before it was due....well I've reached my life's due date for change. I think I've had the worst night possible...including watching the ex-New Guy make out with some new girl, whom I know from high school, and meeting 2 new guys with the same name as the Mess, my Brown-eyed Mr. Big. Is it possible to have a worse night. The friend I went out with copied my outfit & of course tried to out-do me in the night's attire by EVEN wearing hair extensions...she copies me all the time...AND remarked that my necklace was too small to notice so she wore this huge one that cost at least $50 bucks. I'm pissed. I'm really pissed.

I tried to go out tonight to have some fun, but no. I got my face just rubbed into the past & was treated horribly. I'm done. If it wasn't 4:19am I would go to the hardware store to buy nails so I could spit them out....I guess that's what they mean when they say, "I'm so mad I could spit nails". I'm NOT giving up but I'm done. I'm done pretending things don't bother me, I'm done pretending I don't miss certain individuals, and I'm done being kicked around...not physically.

Tonight was horrible. It's part of my story. I was going to write this in my live journal but no one reads that. Here....All I can say is...if something a friend does or an ex does to you hurts you or pisses you off..TELL THEM. You can't go on with a mask on your face. You need to be a real person. I'm a real person & I want to live in the real world. I'm done. Just soooo done.

I need to somehow get some sleep. It was a bad night, a real bad night. I wish I could erase at least 5 names from my phone. I think I will. I can't go on like nothing is the matter. Saturday is a new day.....and oh it's going to be hell to pay.

23 comments:

Couture Carrie said...

I'm so sorry, darling! Feel better.

xoxox,
CC

Little Ms Blogger said...

Sometimes, people don't get why you're upset when you do tell them and this can make you more mad.

However, you can always change the playing field. Change the people you hang out with (choose ones more secure in who they are) and places you go to if it frustrates you.

The beauty about aging is that you eliminate drama every year you get older if you want to...and that sounds like you want to.

Diana Mieczan said...

Ohhh I am so sorry! Hope you will feel better soon:)
kisses

Olivia said...

Oh no :( Hope you feel better soon! If they treat you badly you don't need them in your life! Don't waste your time on people who aren't worth it! You're better than that! xxx

Andaje said...

Hope a good nights sleep will do good for you...

Thanks for always leaving messages on my post - and I know it is weird about the friend I mentioned... but unfortunately I am about to break my old rules about not dating a colleague - hence not being able to share it...

Or just maybe it would just be better to loose his number - well can not do that on my workphone, as we are collegues....

And about your copy cat friend - been there too many times with an old friend of mine - luckily she's found her "own tune" - but it took a while... hang in there...

/A

Audrey Allure said...

I agree with Little Ms Blogger. I sort of went through a similar thing in the past, and I just changed the people I chose to hang out with, and I'm definitely glad I did.
I hope you have a great weekend! <3

Fashion, Art and other fancies said...

So sorry to hear you are feeling under the weather, sweetie. Communication is the key to friendships and relations. Have friends that treat you with respect and dignity. When that goes everything else falls apart.
Catch up on your sleep, my lovely:)

tess said...

I hope getting some sleep calmed you down, but nevertheless that night doesn't sound fun at all. I agree with some of the previous comments, you can change who you hang out with and what venues you frequent, granted its still your hometown so you will run into people, but at least not all of the time

Claire Kiefer said...

a bubble bath usually helps :)

Tower Farm said...

I enjoyed this post... wait it's not a sick as it sounds. I really liked the last line, "...Saturday is a new day.....and oh it's going to be hell to pay". Bad day, but at least a really good line came out of it...

JM

Bathwater said...

To answer your first question-- no, I seem to know every adjective and adverb that describes the state of eternal depression and apathy ;).

To the second part, you are right, tell them how you feel but after that you have to move on. Even if they don't respond or comply with your wishes. And you know I know!

Heather Rose said...

I have too much to say, so I'm making a list.

1. ex-New Guy is now on my list, Mel. I can't stand how uncommitted people can be in relationships! It's like they think dating is just a game, and the people they date are conquests. We're dealing with real people in the real world with real feelings here, folks! Sheesh.

2. I feel bad for the friend you went out with, because she's obviously intimidated by how pretty you are. Sounds like she's insecure and needs to gain a little self respect. Pretty sad, actually. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I'd have been sent, too. We could spit nails together.

3. Back to the real people thing. I agree 100%, deary lou. Being honest is the best policy. Not to say it isn't hard. I'm a people pleaser, so it wounds my soul to say "No" or tell someone "I'm done. You treat me like crap, and I'm not putting up with it." We'll work on this together, lady. We are far too important to let people treat us badly.

4. Hope you got a restful night's sleep, and today treats you much better.

Fabulous Finds Gal said...

I think you are at the beginning of a better journey. One of truth and being honest with yourself and others. I always find when I get clear about what I want in life, life brings it to me. So, keep on your path and write down what exactly you want in friends, etc... Forget about the haters/losers.

xo,
Christina

Sadako said...

:(Feel better. I'm sorry this had to happen.

Amanda said...

Good lord, people are so terrible! I totally agree, when you feel something, just say it out loud. I've been trying to make John Mayer's "Say what you need to say" lyric as a motto in life. No use holding things in. Sounds like you're about where I am with life: getting ride of excessively disappointing "friends". Because you never really lose friends. You find who your real friends are.

I wish you a much brighter and better day tomorrow :)

Amanda

PinkBow said...

oh, i hope things get better for you. my worst irritation is friends who try to compete agh!

Meghan said...

What a bummer. Just know that the friend competing with you means she is just jealous of how wonderful and stylish you are. It's her insecurities manifesting themselves, and nothing to do with you. I hope she wises up - and these boys, too!

P said...

Oh no luv - hope you are okay!!! I had my own past rubbed in a face a bit this w/end so definitely can identify. Big hugs!!!x

Jaime @ La vie...J'aime said...

I hope you are feeling better! i agree "tell them" is good advice and a good way to live by...

woodlandsblonde said...

You really have to be most honest with yourself...I'm still learning the take the mask off thing and tell them they f'ed up!

I recently did this with my EX - he was treating me like a yo-yo! It was ridiculous and I made it known finally. I go back in my head sometimes about whether or not I did the right thing - but I was absolutely done. It's liberating.

You gotta love yourself before anyone else can love all of you. I think you're getting there. Wish you were in Texas so we could go out or go get drinks!

Style, She Wrote said...

I've been there. Hang in there girl. You'll make it through and feel (good) again. :)

Thanks for stopping by and commenting on our blog!xo

Heather Taylor said...

You need a vacation, ASAP. It would be very relaxing.

angel6033 said...

AM sorry you had such a horrible night, I hope this weekend brings better things your way girly :)!

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