Sunday, March 28, 2010

Take the Bull by the Horns & Press On...


Sometimes you have to stop Running. You have to stop avoiding the issues, running away from the drama, and confront the bull staring you in the face. This weekend I had to face my past & I think I did so with flying colors, after a few moments in completely PANIC mode.

So I got invited to go to a party & because of a certain concert that I declined my invitation to go, I thought I could go to this party & avoid seeing a certain man & his certain girlfriend. The Mess, my drama wheel Brown-Eyed Mr. Big. I thought he would be in Pennsylvania, rocking out at the concert I so desperately wanted to go too. He wasn't.

I walked into the bar & saw him standing about 20 feet in front of me with his girlfriend on his arm. I freaked, not going to lie, and ran out of the bar. I didn't cry, but the SHOCK of seeing him just overpowered me. It still hurts to see him. I'm trying to get over him but it still pains me to see him. BUT the story doesn't end with me leaving & going home crying...

I collected myself together, put on my high-heeled boots & walked BACK into the bar & stared him dead in the face. Maybe it was momentary insanity, or perhaps I just got too tired of running away from the drama. I didn't talk to him long, I said Hello & proceeded to the bar. Yes, he didn't follow me, he didn't say much to me, he still didn't introduce me to his gf, BUT I showed him that my life went on without him. I didn't say goodbye to him either. It might have been rude to just leave but I could care less. He hasn't been fair to me or human to me in months, so fuck him. I walked out of the bar with my head held high & tried to swish my skirt a lil more just in case he did notice that I left.

In that freak out moment I had when I first ran out at the sight of him, I think I got a lil more over him. He wasn't going to ruin my night. I want to be able to go on Facebook & not have to be upset when I see something he's posted. I wish I could dream & not have him make guest appearances. I try to be tough & say I'm over it, but I Actually need to SHOW myself that I am. Words are words...Actions show the truth. I'm proud of myself for walking back in the bar.


Oh well...it rained awful today so I didn't get to go around to the companies. I will do that tomorrow. I need to confront other things like my job issue. I can do this...baby steps, but steps are being made. This is going to be a very interesting week....

Have you ever confronted your raging bull of drama? Have you made any steps lately to make you feel better about yourself?

21 comments:

Leah said...

Melanie, I am so proud of you... you did well. And I agree, baby steps and you'll get to where you want to be... slow but sure.

Have a great week ahead! xoxo

Jennifer Fabulous said...

Yay! You are so kick-ass, Mel! I am so proud of you. :)

What you did took balls. Honestly, I'm not sure I could have stared him in the eyes with such confidence and fierceness as you did. I probably would have avoided him at all costs. That is why I am so impressed with you. I think we can all learn from you in this instance right now.

I am happy your life is moving forward and you are holding your head high during all this nonsense, especially when it comes when you least expected it.

PS. Would it be weird if we became fb friends? :P

B said...

I agree with you. Instead of running away from things you should just take them on.

It probably took some guts to face him again

B said...

I love your banner, btw

Sheri said...

I'm so proud that you walked back in there and had fun! As for the FB thing, why is he still on your friend's list?

Cee said...

Good for you! I have definitly done that same thing...freak out I mean. But it is awesome that you picked yourself up and went back in there!

Susan R. Mills said...

Good for you! You should be proud of yourself.

tess said...

wow, great job, Mel! I must say I'm not nearly as confident as you are. I still avoid my ex-roommate like the plague. But then again, when I do catch up with the friends I've missed seeing since I moved out I realize that I don't actually miss them at all. They're no longer interesting to me, never tried to show they even cared for me after I moved out, and not worth the stress. Then again, I still could just be running away from my problems, so I am proud of you here for not dong that

Bathwater said...

I suppose I have, breaking away from Tinkerbell was a step in the right direction.

Katy Mary said...

Yay! I'mn glad to hear you walked right in, said hello and ignored him. While you might think it's immature to ignore someone it really isn't. There is nothing wrong with not talking to someone you don't want to talk to, saying hello was honestly all you needed to do in that situation. Being confident is important, definitely make sure you stand stall!! Good lukc with your job search, I'm looking too and I have also been going to the gym everyday, which is my way of "bettering" myself right now :)

woodlandsblonde said...

You go girl! :)

You've got to confront issues...there was a guy at my apt who was calling/texting at 2 a.m. all the time- asking me to do things for him, etc. I finally sent him a message (after he called me rude) what I considered "rude." I doubt anyone stands up to this guy- but I knew the little game he was playing. And I told him to f off basically!

Anyway, it's totally empowering to just get on with YOUR life :) be happy with who you are and what you have!

Nitin said...

yea.. i think you have to face it once. and that really helps and goes a long way. my biggest challenge is me. so from time to time i have to face myself and get down to it. you passed that exam alright.. you rocked the boat babe! don't worry much about your work thing. you'll be fine :)

Manju said...

good for you! it does take courage to confront things headfirst like this

Amanda said...

Go Melanie! That's awesome! I hope I can say the same of myself when I see my ex again, if I ever do see him again. I would love for us to be friends again, but I feel the same about going on Facebook and just being heartbroken over something heartless that he's just posted. I hate feeling that way.

Cheers to getting over idiot boys and moving on to great men we deserve!

Sandy said...

I knew you could do it. I'm so proud of you! There seems to come a time in everyone's lives where they have to just gut it up, face the music and deal with the issue.
Keep up the great work Mel ... just take it one day at a time!

bananas. said...

i haven't had ex drama in ages so i can't related but good for you. moving on is the best way to be when it comes to exes.

Jaime @ La vie...J'aime said...

Go you - wow. Who doesn't get confronted by a raging bull of drama? lol

drollgirl said...

well done, girlie! you are on your way! sometimes it feels like the pain will never end. and then, sometimes it is so cool to know that it will.

i recently had an ex start emailing me again wanting to worm his way back into my life. NO THANKS. it has been over five years, and i have zero interest in him. i just hope it doesn't take me five damn years to get over the one i'm still working in! it won't. i won't let it.

Barry said...

Mel, you're total awesomeness!! I think anyone regardless of their age could learn a lesson here.

I've said it before but I love how you take control of the things in your life that need to be turned around.

You're FIERCE my dear. I'm crazy-proud of you, not only for this but for the inspiration you give us all.

xo

Valerie {Next to Heaven} said...

You're always so positive despite the situation. That's one of the things I love about your blog!

quixotic.knight said...

"tried to swish my skirt a lil more just in case he did notice that I left."


lol..lol...can't stop smilin...this entry made my day/......Melanie...This is too much awesomeness.seriously too much.

And guess wat...it has inspired me a lot.....Aint u Omega Proud of urself??? Coz I soo very am....Drinks are on the house lady
\m/

http://random-renditions.blogspot.com/

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails