Tuesday, March 16, 2010

If you can make any sense of this...Please let me know!!!!


So I'm going to shed some light on my lunch on Saturday. I have a Drummer Boy Ex, (NOT THE GUY THAT GAVE ME THE KISS) who I had lunch with also on Saturday during the day. Now, he re-appeared in my life a few months ago to um...hmmm....still not sure. I thought just as friends but I've been a wee bit confused about his intentions for a while...now I just don't have a fucking clue. I'm OVER HIM, completely...but I don't understand what he's doing now? It makes no sense!!! Well for my new followers (Hi!) I'm going to give a simple backstory.

Past:We met fall of 07' one night, made out the whole night and then dated for about 6 months. We've been dating for a month when X-mas came around, and he got mad at me for buying him a x-mas present for a reason I still don't know. After that drama he dumped me once, called me 4 hours later, we got back together. He never seemed like the "On" switch was clicked on in his brain. It wasn't the best relationship, but we continued to date.

Long back-story short, we didn't see each other for about 3 weeks and then one day I went over his house and noticed there were condom foil wrappers on top of his open trash can that was over-flowing, so it was really noticeable. He didn't have that big of room. I stormed out and we didn't talk for about two years.


Present:Okay so on Saturday, he invited me to lunch. He in the confirmation text was like,

"Sweet! I'll call you in the morning to set things up!"

Drummer Boy Ex called me at 10:52am to go to lunch. That's really early, I guess he really wanted to see me. He volunteers to drive. He starts talking about a X-mas gift he felt forced to give me. He was like "Do you still have it?" and he keeps going down memory lane... He tells me I look cute in my glasses. He invites me to this concert that I couldn't go to that night. He was kinda like sad when I said I got alot of stuff to do later.

Well he keeps smiling at me, we share some appetizers, and he starts talking about his band. He was like "Oh remember when I used to do this...and that". After eating the check comes and he refuses to let me pay. That sends the Red Flare of "DATE" to me. I was a lil like ahhh crap about it, especially when the bill came to about $50 bucks. I felt bad so I suggested we go play pool so I could pay for something. It was closed due to the weather so we called it a day....

Now this I don't understand. I happen to see his Facebook status later day and he said, "VERY EXCITED FOR MY VISITOR TOMORROW". I'm like huh???? Soo I look at his profile. Apparently his ex-girlfriend is coming to visit him this week and she is all over his page saying "Your Hot!" or "Break me off a piece of that". OH and in between him hanging out with me a few weeks ago he went to visit her....

So if he is still apparently seeing his ex

WHY IS HE HANGING OUT WITH HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND(me) THAT HE DATED BEFORE HER THE DAY BEFORE HE SEES HER?????????

Why is he taking me out to lunch and wanting to pay?? Why is he asking me to go bowling, ya know date like things??? Why even call me?? Why try so hard to get me some-what in his life?? I don't get it. I don't Understand it. Why ask me if I'm seeing anyone before we started hanging out again?? Why bring me in to see his mother before I left because she told him she missed me???? Why ask if I wanted to chill in his bedroom???? (I declined to that btw).

I don't want to see him again for a long while because I don't know what game he is playing or what ego trip this is or what role he thinks I am or going to be. I don't get it. DO YOU?? Why hang out with me when his ex-gf is visiting him and he's excited to see her. What a mess, and Drummer Boy Ex isn't even the Mess!!

Do you get this? Do you understand this at all? I sure as hell don't......I'd Love your two sense!!

30 comments:

Jack Daniel said...

First of all. Hello...long time no checking out your blog in such a long time...and I feel bad because you always leave a comment on mine.

Anyway. To answer your questions: I think he wants to have more than just 1 girl so he can go back and forth between different ladies. If one lady says: 'I wanna stay in and do nothing', then he will probably bootycall the other one just to have some s-e-x. Because that's what most men want: 'getting something, something'.

Please don't think every guy is like that. Only drummers. Yeah, definitely the drummers for sure.

Tuesdai Noelle said...

Melanie.....Melanie? What's not to get?! Pleaseeeeee BE DONE with this HAM of a guy already!!!! HE SEEMS LIKE A LOSER It's plain and simple; Clearly, he wants to his cake and eat it too. For some guys (not just "drummers") it's like the BEST OF BOTH WORLDS for them. Think about it: if you can hang out with your pretty EX (whenever) and later with your new beauty at the same time......ummmm? You don't have to commit to either one! Breaking down even further, if I can just be BLUNT; he's not hanging "just to be friends" or because he misses you. You're so MUCH better all around; pretty, intelligent and fun---than for a "some drummer boy'....start hanging out with "lead singers" (so to speak) if you get what I'm saying.

Have a groovy day :)

Tuesdai Noelle said...

AND also, he could be trying to make SURE if it doesn't work out between him and "whoever," he can still come back...that's why he ALSO on the super slide trying to get back on YOUR team. He's a JERK.

Leah said...

That's quite a guy... I guess he's fishing... trying to see who is the better catch. I hate it that he even announced in his FB about his other ex visiting. Did he announce in his FB about your date too? Better think hard Melanie.

xoxo

angel6033 said...

wow, very confusing stuff, but lately I am suffering from boy confusion myself so I feel I cant be much help..WHy are boys so cryptic? Lol

Little Ms Blogger said...

Jack Daniel could be 100% right - could definitely be all about having sex 24/7 (local and long distance)....I'll also add it's about ego.

Take the lunch as a chance to catch up, realize you're in a different place in your life and be happy you didn't have to pay for this self realization trip.

Jennifer Fabulous said...

To me, it just sounds like he wants to get laid, so he's rounding up all the girls from his past to see who will fall for the bait.

This guy is clearly a douchebag and I'm stunned because he's clearly not trying to hide it. I mean, he's basically broadcasting it to the world via facebook because he knew you were going to see his status.

I am kind of a confrontational person, so here is what I would do: write him a message and ask him all the questions you wrote here. Ask him why he took you out, paid for your meal, and invited you out on dates when he was going to be seeing his other ex-girlfriend the next day. It would be interesting to see what he has to say about that. But then again, he might just come up with some bullshit and try to wrangle you in again. Who knows. Perhaps it would be best to simply ignore him forever and not let him back into your life ever again.

LESAPEA MUSINGS said...

Run...Run, Run away and don't look back, you said it yourself, It wasn't the best relationship. We are all about going forward not backward. Don't be afraid to stand up for what you deserve. Make up your mind once and for all, you will not be taken advantage of... you are not some weak-willed woman looking for a hand out.Take care. I'm on your side gurl.

Jaime @ La vie...J'aime said...

I agree- run lol. the fact that he's still seeing you is just wrong.. and he is a mess.

wulanasihsetyarini said...

great post..

love

Katy Mary said...

This sounds super sketchy to me. I have found that any guy who wasn't clear about his intentions was bad news and this guy sounds like BAD news. If a man truly likes you Melanie he will not hide that fact or see other women.

woodlandsblonde said...

Men.Want.Sex. his goals haven't changed and neither have your standards. Although he's willing to pay, etc....I guarantee his ex doesn't know about you. Men want what they can't have and they walked away. His ex is easy - she's coming to see him - but you are a challenge. You will always be that challenge to him.

Rough story related to me...was friends w a guy for 8 years. Slept with him one night. Haven't talked to him in a year...4 months after sleeping w him he told me he had a gf at the time.

The story doesn't change. Never change your standards. Tell this guy to go F himself. I guarantee his ego is a lot bigger than his.....

The Style Mansion said...

Have you asked him what he's doing? I would ask him. I would also avoid him.

Choleesa said...

Little Ms. Blogger is right.

Laura Trevey said...

Thanks for the visit... Happy St. Patrick's Day!

xoxo Laura

Pop Champagne said...

I think the guy just wants to be a player. Guys want sex and that's pretty much it! lol. Yeah its prob best if you don't see him for a while I agree with you!

Susan said...

I agree withl the previous comments- I guess he is trying to keep his options open. Shame he is an ass, but hey at least you got a free lunch!! xx

Tights Lover said...

From a guy's perspective, I hate to say it, but it sounds like he's trying to date multiple women at once...I don't know why...I guess to keep his options open. If you're not okay with this (and why would you be?) you should go back to your habit of keeping your distance from him. It's only a matter of time before the condom wrapper-trash can returns.

I think you need to remember why you broke up. In most instances you can't ever get back together. Most often you can't really even remain friends. Things never change. Sorry.

Bathwater said...

Yes he is going with his making time with his ex-girlfriends because he feels that is his best chance right now of being involved with someone.

It will all end when he gets involved with someone. I'd stay clear he is wasting your time-- but you got a free lunch. Or use it accordingly and don't take him serious.

Secretia said...

Maybe the attraction, the magnetism, the sexual tension will never really be over for you. Might just have to admit that to yourself, and go with how you feel when you see him. It's OK if it makes you feel good.

Secretia

Melissa Blake said...

Mel -- RUN, RUN, RUN!!! You deserve so much better!! xoxo

LENORENEVERMORE said...

He seems like a big time player M...run & don't let him catch you again babe! You are beautiful inside & out, you deserve the best!
hugs*

tess said...

lets look at the evidence so far: condoms in trash, date with you, then ex coming into town that night...what does this mean? he is a total cad! like most of the previous people who commented here said, he wants all of his options out there. one girl for emotional support (you) one for sex (ex), both of these things he should be getting from just one girl, not dragging along two for the ride. you said it yourself, you didn't have the best run with him the first time, he's been really erratic, it sounds like every moment of your lunch date was awkward for you, and clearly he isn't invested in your relationship. all signs point to stay far far away from this loser. who cares about what he's going through, you don't need to be part of that drama. you don't need him.

Taj Acosta said...

Doll, listen to a fairy godmother on this one mmkayy! Lose his # from your phone, delete his facebook and move on! He's a douche bag! Focus on something else and remember you are beautiful and smart and deserve likewise. xoxo

Heather Rose said...

I'm thinking he doesn't know WHAT he wants, or else he does and you want more than that. Go with your gut on this one, Mel. I think it's right.

Sadako said...

Aw. This drummer boy sounds flakey. And lame.

Christopher said...

He's a dog. That's my official opinion.

OceanDreams said...

Yep, you definitely need to stick clear with this guy! He sounds like my ex, he only wants what is best for him and not for you. He definitely wants the best of both worlds - don't let him take anything from you! You deserve better.

The Owl's Closet said...

oh my...i'm sorry ure going through the drama with drummer boy again:( i agree with the comments above, he doesn't seem like he knows what he wants. i think ure going in the right direction by staying far away from the drama:)

TheOwlsCloset.blogspot.com

Dugaldo said...

Messes make for great romance, but not all the time. I had a little drummer boy in high school who "broke my heart." We also reunited a few years later, and I wrote him a book of poetry called "Drum Heart" but we broke up a few years later in San Francisco. Sad huh?

Oh wait, we got back together for round three and we've lived together now for a few years, here in Phoenix. If you like this drummer boy, just check your emotions while have a little fun. And if it makes you feel any better, I've known my boyfriend for over ten years now, and his text messages still manage to confuse me.

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