Friday, March 12, 2010

I want a dream lover so I don't have to dream alone...


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Well it's been one hell of a week. It went turtle slow. I have had a lot of work to do at my job so that's a good thing. I've been trying to make myself irreplaceable at my job so God forbid they do an employee cut, I won't be part of it. However staring at a computer screen for basically every hour I'm awake is a bit much. My new best friend is "Clear Eyes". lol. I guess it comes with the trade...

Mostly I've been just dreaming. Dreaming of so much. Picturing my future apartment when I move out my parents house, decorating it the way I want, and having people come over to my actual place. Dreaming of the next person I will meet, what gates will they open for me. Contemplating the plot of my story's characters. Wishing that the pillow laying next to me was somebody whom I can't help but miss. The songs I hear over the radio during the day make its way into my head too.

The day turns into night and I'm left with my mind racing. My head is like the remote control that is stuck between the sofa cushions, hurriedly flipping through the stations...jumping from one thought to another.


I dream of going into a store and then a fitting room and the clothes actually fitting properly. It seems I have a problem that the juniors clothes look too tacky and the Women's clothes too older looking. It's a problem for me. Or it just doesn't fall right on me and it shows every lump and bump. I dream of when I won't have the lump and bump and I will fit into that bathing suit without a shirt over it...

So many dreams. I conjure up dreams of closure or possible outcomes of new situations. It makes my job go by very fast and sweetly. But alas I will wake up, however those dreams will be my fuel. A never-ending fuel for me.


Tomorrow I'm actually having lunch with Drummer Boy. Yes, I am over my Drummer Boy ex, completely & utterly, but I think he's lonely. I'm lonely too so I will be his friend, nothing more. He's searching for himself and I am too, so it's sort of created a common bond between us. Not a strong enough bond that I would want to date him, but enough of one where I would chill with him and maybe we can help each other out along the way. I will pay for my own stuff and vise versa. There is no harm in a lunch. He better not call before noon tho, or I'm not going. lol.

I leave you to dream some more...maybe I'll find a dream lover to keep my company this weekend when I go out tomorrow night...who knows....

14 comments:

Jon said...

Making you irreplaceable at work may not be gr8 idea...

I am a victim of it.... You will not be able to move on even if you want to

Susan R. Mills said...

I think it ate my comment. What I said was: Have fun with Drummer Boy, but don't sell yourself short. Have a great weekend!

Secretia said...

Songs help me to dream when I'm awake, and that takes me to my special place :)

Secretia

Anything Fits a Naked Man said...

Now I've got that song in my head!

Enjoy your dinner with drummer boy, but I think you should proceed with caution! Good luck, let us know how it goes!

Sheri said...

Dreaming is good and those are good dreams to dream :)

BTW... you won my Grains of Goodness contest! :) E-mailing you right now about that, congrats!

HISdaughter said...

I am 32, and still have the whole JR's section vs. womens' section quandry.. I have no boobs, but hips and ass, soooo it can get difficult. Haha. And as someone a little older than you, dont worry so much about lumps and bumps. Enjoy your body and love it. THere are lots of ways to dress around lumps and bumps :) (I learned how to dress myself by watching What not to Wear)
:)

Cee said...

Good luck with the lunch!

PS My wine glasses arrived yesterday, I love them!

tess said...

I always seem to be day dreaming about the future, and even if I get to that future and it is not as good as I hoped I am dreaming about my next possible future. the ability to dream and hope can be hard to find sometimes, yet you and I have it in abundance. however I think what keeps us grounded is we do invest ourselves in the present, and get everything we can out of it. smart thinking on making yourself necessary at your job!

PinkBow said...

aren't times tough in the work environment at the moment.

Novelista Barista said...

u won my giveway!!!!

Kris said...

I love to dream!

ps I love your award marquee! Great idea!

Heather Rose said...

A.) Work can definitely be draining.

B.) It'll come in time, and I bet your place will be awesome.

C.) I think you're gorgeous! Just try to just focus on being healthy, rather than being as thin as society says we should be. It helps me to look at things that way. I'll never weigh what I think women should weigh, but I can get healthier and that'll be perfect for me.

D.) Enjoy lunch with Drummer Boy, but don't let your guard down. Boys are sneaky.

JUST ME said...

I'm in my mid-twenties and the Women's Section still doesn't fit me right either.

Fuck no, Mom Jeans.

Juliana said...

Can I come into your dreams? I am off to read about your date with Drummer Boy

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