Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The irony has me at a loss for words.....


So a crazy thing happened today...Somehow things got ironed out, whether or not I've actually made up my mind what I was going to do. I don't know what I was going to do to be honest. I wanted to say "Fuck no I would never set foot in that concert hall with you and your girlfriend" but I was tempted to go with someone else to show him he had no power over me and I was in fact over him...What I'm talking about is that concert that was looming over my head like one of the plagues. I was supposed to go with the Mess, my Brown-eyed Mr. Big who has been driving my subconscious insane for the past few months, but I would have had to go with him and his new girlfriend & new life basically. Well...it's not happening.

I got the text some point early this afternoon from him that the concert was sold out. I didn't buy my ticket, so that's it. The concert was in May so I'm dumbfounded that it was sold out, but it is a small venue so I guess that's why?? Maybe it's a sign...that I wasn't supposed to go and not have the torture of seeing the first guy I truly loved with his ignorant girlfriend. I call her ignorant only because she knows nothing. She seems nice but she has no fucking clue. She doesn't know that he has cheated on her, that he didn't want to date her(Probably a lie), she doesn't know that I was there for him and put back together the man she sees before her, that his obsession with this band is because I took him to see them the first time, and she doesn't know that even now he described her as "Sadly that's her". Well I won't have to hide my tears this time.

I can't believe the concert is sold out. Sold out!! Excuse me while I let out a breath of fresh air. I have put up so many walls to try to let this guy stay in my life because he...well I thought he would be my other half, the Clyde to my Bonnie, but I was wrong. He's not in my life anymore and I'm happy that I don't have to put on a mask for that night so he can do a guest appearance to see some band that I actually haven't been able to listen to because it hurts. How could I ever trust him anyway if he ever wanted me back??? Who knows...


The rope is drawn and I'm on the outside now once again...I was so happy in October at the first concert...I have the picture of him and I and we are both smiling...shortly after that he left me and our friendship for the other girl. Well back I go to resisting the urge to text him(I got no real reason to now), shelf my hurt feelings and live for the future.

23 comments:

Jennifer said...

Girl, I'm glad it worked out this way for you, too... So many things could have gone wrong that night and being there with him, with the band it was hard to listen to, and the other girl, would have been too much, I just know it.

Yay for a brighter tomorrow!

Tuesdai Noelle said...

Hey Melanie :)

Glad you're looking "for love" elsewhere...that's the best way to go! And RE: What if he comes back for a second chance: Might I share a little light of reality for a sec.....if he's BAD MOUTHING her to you (stating she's a complete beautiful airhead), how do you know he's not BAD MOUTHING you to her in the same breath???? #justsayin'. Perhaps, in this season, it's simply time to stop reminsicing about "how you've helped him in the past," and go forward--leaving it as just a memory. Because TRUTH is, he still with HER, chattin to YOU about HER, and doesn't think she's a BIG enough airhead to leave (or really care for her) her to come back.

As the saying goes; He's just NOT that into you. Harsh reality, but it will save a lot of time.....somethings just ain't worth THAT afterwhile. Release him hun :) You're better off without THAT drama!

Have a groovy day :)

Anything Fits a Naked Man said...

Oh, I've so been there, Girl! I don't know if this helps, but I PROMISE you that there is another "Mr. Big" out there, YOUR Mr. Big, that's going to make this guy seem like a distant memory! Hang in there!!

Alicia said...

oh man...maybe that's a blessing in disguise that you don't have to go...relationships and friendships can be so complicated, but there are just some times that we need to keep from making them even messier...like going to the concert! i hope it all works out for you love!

Kelly said...

Oh hun! Those tickets being sold out is the best thing that could have happened. I know it hurts to have your heart broken but things do get better and when you meet the next one you will wonder what you were thinking! I know it doesn't seem like it now but I promise you that's how it will be! Thinking of you!

Secretia said...

This is a love story without end. I hope you will not be hurt any more.

Secretia

tess said...

well as much as I find the idea of fate/signs corny, I do kind of believe in them and this was most definitely a sign. I had the same dilemma you were in last weekend. it was my friend's birthday party and my ex roommate was expected to be there. my friend who hosted the party didn't invite a ton of the people and the room isn't very big so it was inevitable we would run into each other. the idea of seeing her upset me so much that I had two nightmares last week about that party. it was at that point that I decided not to go, because even if it was letting her "win" by not going, I felt the victory of hers was a small trade compared to the anxiety I was feeling. because if I had gone to the party I would've behaved very awkwardly the entire time and something would've gone down between her and I regardless. no fun for anyone. I said I was sick (and I actually had an ear infection) and apologized to the birthday boy, but I enjoyed my Friday night much more because I didn't go. I think the next few months will be much more enjoyable for you because you do not have to worry about that awkward night coming up. all you know is that you're already better off than the Mess's currently girlfriend (considering how much he doesn't care about her) because you've learned to avoid him and she is the process of making a huge mistake right now by being with him that she doesn't even realize yet. you're much better off!

Eternal Blast said...

Nobody has the right to makes us feel this way.
Do not let him, it is not worth it; because if it was; he will be right next to you dear.
Cheer up and turn the corner.

Erika said...

I have never before said this in my life; but I feel that now is the perfect opportunity...you go girl! It is destiny that this turn of events happened. I recently had something similar happen to me, and I found that, at the beginning, I was upset, then I started focusing on other things, and felt relief - almost as if a weight of drama had been lifted off of me. This is a blessing in disguise, just know that. And if he should call or text you again (the boy I was in a similar relationship did that just last night with me), there is only one thing to do...press IGNORE. He's not worth your time - find someone who is worthy of you, my love!! :)

Heather Rose said...

I always build people up until they're towering over me. Once I'm standing in their shadow, gazing up at them, it's easy to see the light falling on their faults.

It truly is his loss, Mel. Try not to hurt. You're too beautiful, too forgiving and too awesome for him.

Susan R. Mills said...

I'd say fate made the decision for you. I don't think you were meant to go to that concert. I'm sure you'll have far better things to do then anyway.

Valerie {Next to Heaven} said...

I'm so sorry! I know you were looking forward to going!

Sheri said...

That sucks but just think... you could be doing something else completely amazing and not related to the ex at all instead now :)

woodlandsblonde said...

OMG that would be MAJOR torture for you to go to that concert!

DON'T GO! Even if someone offers you tickets. It's time you start thinking about what's going to be best for you, not him!!!

Stay strong and leave this LOSER in the dust.

Katy Mary said...

I'm so glad things worked out this way, I think it would have been a bad idea to go. You are so much better than this Guy and his GF.

Iva said...

everything will be ok!!! think of what you need and want and follow your heart! you are totally worth it and take care of YOU!!!

Bathwater said...

Well I am glad you are not going with him. As for sold out that sounds a bit iffy, If I was there and you wanted to go I'd find a way. But without the Tool and his Rag. ;)

OceanDreams said...

I think this is saving you a lot of heartache, it would have been hard to see him for sure. Glad it worked out alright for you girl!

Aritza, Goddess of .. said...

Awww god, I think I know how you feel. I have been there and back .. and there again .. and back again with my own Mr. Big. I realized that what's annoying and what hurts is the fact that it's never really over / never really out of your life.

If it is for you, I guess it's gonna be good eventually because you'll be able to put it behind you. Hang in there, Bella !

Dustjacket Attic said...

When you describe what he does and what he has said, he does not sound like a nice person. You deserve better my friend.
xxx

angel6033 said...

wow well at leat now you dont have to worry about it anymore and thats good :)...

Sandy said...

I have one word for you Mel - NBXT! I know, I've been there ... and the best thing (next to Barry of course) that happened to me was saying goodbye for good. Although he's been on my mind a fair bit lately ... but I haven't seen him in almost 18 years ... so I think I'm over him ... I hope you can find a "Barry" of your own. I used to let men treat me like crap ... no more. There are still a lot of good men around ... as my mother always told me ... patience!
Remember girlie ... everything happens for a reason. I'm glad the concert's sold out.
Have an awesome Friday!

911 and the Randomness.. said...

That sucks that you can't see the concert, but I'm so glad that stuff got ironed out!!
Just keep going and living your life!

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