Monday, March 8, 2010

Like putting a band-aid on a wound too deep...


A friend told me that I seem to be putting a band-aid on a crack in a dam, hoping it'll hold back all the gallons of water. I feel that way too with alot of things. I feel buried like that poor lil kitty. Today was one of those days where I was most definitely buried in the sand at my job and I'm stuck because I don't have another job to go to yet. I wish I had kept on driving...

It was an okay day & I brought in those cupcakes I made yesterday to work. I had this "Let's calm the beast boys by making them treats" idea(I work with 5 men & am the only girl), but alas the sweets made their brains go soft and almost made me go postal on them all. My boss was updating things on a site I work for and basically DELETED half the work I've ever done on it. I was beyond aggravated!!! He also did a lil boy thing even tho he's in his 40's and said,

"Oh I'm sorry. I'll try to be more careful next time".

MORE CAREFUL!?!?!??! Are you 5 years old who only just knocked over a glass of milk????!!! I told him I was going to lunch early and walked out. I almost lost it. If this was an anime I'd have an angry bubble over my head and be all red and snorting like a bull. I hate re-doing work, especially work where I have to go to websites and cut & paste product descriptions over and over again.

If the economy wasn't so bad, I would have kept driving. If I didn't want my own apartment so badly I wouldn't have batted an eye. The cupcake band-aid didn't work. They ate the cupcakes when I came back and tried to make all nice with me. Yeahhh that's not happening for a while. I even got to the gym today and walked 2 miles to calm down.

Back to the drawing board. I seem to be spending my days being happy for a lil while and then being just slammed back down to the sand in a flash, where I gotta start all over again. Drats.

So I got a question for you!

What motivates you? I mean what really motivates you to get things started. Life is not a high school track race where a gun goes off to start your race...so what makes you push off from the ground and start running towards your dreams! I'm not that much of a lazy person but I need a lil push, a lil motivation today if you don't mind. I'd appreciate the help!! =)

I'm going to try and get some shut eye to calm down from this and work on my resume some more. A band-aid isn't going hold over for long...you gotta make a difference yourself. I'm going to go watch the movie "2046" before I go to bed. It's my favorite movie. I think I'm going to post about it tomorrow. Til then...

31 comments:

Susan R. Mills said...

I think what motivates me through the tough times is hope for the better times. If you don't have hope, you won't set higher standards for yourself. Sometimes life's circumstances can't be controlled, but how we deal with them can. If I can see myself in a better place, then I work harder to get there. Wishing you well, Melanie.

adi said...

Ugh, I've been asking myself the same question. After work I'm so tired I can barely drag myself to bed, let alone get up the energy to look for a job I might enjoy. Good luck getting unburied!

Seattle Kim D said...

I find motivation by thinking about how each little project or task is leading me closer and closer to my long-term career goals. Plus there's the joy you find in a job well done. If that doesn't work, try to reward yourself with a little treat after every paycheck. Nothing too extravagent, just like a dress you've been eyeing or concert tickets to a good show. Then no matter how frustrating or stressful work gets you'll still have something to look forward to and help make it all worthwhile. Hang in there, it will get better!

Nitin said...

well, to be honest. i am in the same rut as you. i get over my thing by working out a lot after work. my condition is i guess cause i can't get sleep come nights cause all im doing is thinking. and then im seeing a shrink cause of the greater complications in my condition... recently i have been able to get life into some kind of workable condition. i have been trying different new ways to make my life more structured. i used to live like a cat out of a carton or something. but then i guess i have been working towards that. i might quit work in a while. planning to do my postgrad. atleast have been thinking about it. i think you need to reinvent. change they way you do regular things. i guess i won't be making much sense to you at this point. but thats kinda what im trying right now. i use a planner now. and so far, its helped in a way. and did a career couselling recently. so i think i will persue what is right for my current personality traits and interests. and thats why i thought of doing a postgrad. anyways. don't worry too much.. you'll find your way :)

avant garde said...

ooh, that was a rough day at work, and it must be difficult working with all guys. i've had jobs where i've worked with alot of guys, but not all guys. aren't they funny? :) to answer your question about what motivates me, to be honest, i haven't felt really clear until about maybe 8 or 9 years ago. (so i was 31 or so) i sort of all of the sudden realized what i wanted to do, who i really was, what i liked and didn't like, and...had the guts to admit all of that. it takes time, you're young (which is an awesome time too) but sometimes it just takes time. look for signs, once someone told me to do that, they lead you and things start becoming clearer and clearer. i know...curisouser and curisouser, but true! :)

Blackjack said...

Tricky question. Probably two main things music and travelling, and the hopes that they bring. But there's also the hope of all the personal things that makes life so good.

Just thinking through things like that can be pretty revealing, as my job doesn't actually appear in that list.... I've always wondered how much that's true for everyone?

Secretia said...

Money and fitness motivate me. Ok food and orgasms motivate me too. Skipping work or getting out early are big motivators.

Secretia

Leah said...

I noticed the happy trend these past few days. How I wish you will always be happy but things happen.

Too bad about your workplace but for now, love your job. You know how it is with the US economy, a lot of people are getting laid off. You are lucky that you have a job. I always believe that changing your mindset from negative to positive will attract positive vibes. Visualize a good work environment, a fun and efficient day at work... it's the power of creative visualization.

Hope I gave you some motivation to enjoy and treasure what you have right now. Think of all the unlucky people out there without a job.

Have a great day Melanie! xoxo

Bathwater said...

I feel you and I am right there with you. Making changes that I don't want to because they need to be done.

HISdaughter said...

what motivates me the most is my son. I jsut want him to have a greatlife, ya know? And also, being productive, really motivates me. if i sit around and do nothing, I feel gross. I have to be doing...

angel6033 said...

aww, that sucks! and yeah what a kid thing to say lol..sorry your cupcake band-aid didnt work. Somehting better will come along, whenever I get in thoose moods I always tell myself NOTHING LASTS FOREVER and its true the more I think about it the more I realize it as time goes byt higns ALWAYS change, one day you will look back on this job and be like it was not that bad, keep your head up, and those claws digging through the sand to keep you from going under..

P said...

I couldn't even TELL you what motivates me . . . because I have no idea. Sometimes rejection does it for me . . . but then it can go the other way too and I can just give up trying. If only I knew!

Susan said...

Oh no! That is so frustrating I think you did well to keep your cool in front of them. I do like my job, but I don't think it's really what motivates me if you know what I mean, I work so that I can afford to do other things really rather than for the satisfaction of the job itself. However I dont think I could cope with something I really hated. Are you on the lookout for something new? xx

Christopher said...

My motivation is that the better work I do at the jobs that bore the hell out of me now the more I'll be on my own terms doing what I want to do when I'm older. That's the plan anyway.

Katy Mary said...

Honeslty I hate my job more than I can really describe and my only motivation is knowing that when I leave the office I go home to my wonderful fiance. I need to kick my own ass into gear though and find something better. Things always get better though hun so don't give up!

Erika said...

Wow! That is just about the worst possible way to start the week. I'm so sorry to hear that your work was deleted. It seems like the culprits behind disasters such as this, the ones who destroyed the work but didn't have to do it themselves, are always armed with an "I'm sorry." It definitely doesn't help - especially when you have to go back and re-do all of it!

I find that music is the biggest motivator to me. Maybe that's cliched; but honestly, it's the truth! :/

Jennifer Fabulous said...

I'm sorry about your rough day. That sucks you had to re-do all that work. I think I would cry if that happened to me.

But I know what it feels like to want to keep on driving...because somewhere far away always sounds better than what is so near.

I think what motivates me is my belief that one day I am going to be happy. Things are going to get better. I have to cling to that notion otherwise I probably would keep on driving...into a lake. :S

drollgirl said...

oh god. what a terrible day.

i am not sure what motivates me. it is a struggle to get through some days, that is for sure. i find that if i have something, ANYTHING to look forward to, it really helps.

OceanDreams said...

Hey girl I feel your pain a bit. I really can't blog about my job on my blog unfortunately but I've been underpaid for about 2 year now and am dying to get out! So keep hanging in there, I know what you mean about needing to stay there for the money and because jobs are hard to find now. Keep hanging in there!

Choleesa said...

anger is usually what motivates me, if I need to clean, it usually dosnt get done til something pisses me off, then I throw everything away, I have to get pissed at someone to be motivated enough to either confront them, or walk away forever, same goes with exercise. I have to be pissed at the pants that are too tight before I go to the gym.

What Would a Nerd Wear said...

that sounds SO frustrating!!! honestly, i wish i had better advice for you but in really aggravating situations, sometimes doing a little calming breathing goes a long way.

LENORENEVERMORE said...

Oh NO he didn't!!!
so sorry, been there & done that too!
Well, for motivation- that's not easy, but boost our confidence, beat procrastination, and enjoy our life in the process. All the best sweetie!

WhisperingWriter said...

Music helps to motivate me.

And chocolate, of course.

911 and the Randomness.. said...

Got to turn my favorite songs up loud and go driving. Then I can scream/sing with them for a bit and after I start to feel better the brainstorming and work begins...
Take a little while and jam to some upbeat songs, start with the stuff that matches your mood and then get to happier/faster stuff.
That's my fix anyway.

tess said...

cupcakes to chaos, I am sorry Mel :(

what motivates me? haha funny funny question, Melanie you silly girl. I have no clue. Since I am still a student it is the possibility of summer break, study abroad, and graduating.

Karyn Bernard (French Charming) said...

Hello Gorgeous Lady!

I work in Corporate America and to be honest with you...I can't stand it! There are plenty of back stabbers and ladder climbers. I'm there because I need a paycheck until I realize my dream of owning my own business again. I try very hard not to get pulled down by it all and keep my eye on the prize.

I have to tell you I'd rather work for 5 goofy guys than one bitchy woman! lol

Hang in there my sweet friend and keep your eye on the prize.

Big hugs,
Karyn

The Owl's Closet said...

oh wow, i'm so sorry to hear that ur work got deleted! i hope things will get better soon:)

TheOwlsCloset.blogspot.com

Sandy said...

Sorry to hear you're having such a tough time at work. I definitely know what that's like. Thankfully I left one job. Then persevered at this job until the manager "left". I'm very happy there now.
I love the picture tho' ... but you know me and cats ...
What motivates me? Being fed up and not willing to stay in that situation. When it hurts enough, you'll figure out a way to deal with it ... in the meantime, try to make the most of things and not let them get to you too much ... easier said than done, I know.
Hang in there girl ... things will get better!

christa elyce said...

i thought you'd be interested in the giveaway I have going on right now on my blog! it's all mother of pearl and stone strand necklace! you'd love it. its colorful...kinda you!

Heather Taylor said...

My motivation right now comes from a tiny but persistent voice in my head that keeps saying "you have to do this..." "this needs to be done..." and gradually, throughout my busy day, I finish most things that way. Honestly, the idea of my upcoming college graduation and living somewhere new and unexpected drives me in a very refreshing way.

Iva said...

ohhh no! i am so sorry!!!

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