From the beginning I knew CJ & I’s relationship was serious. He wanted a commited girlfriend who saw him as a potential significant other. I’ll admit it was scary when he was throwing that at me by like the third date but we waited a while before we became boyfriend & girlfriend so we knew it was real between us. He was done with all the crap that goes along with dating in your 20’s. He’s had his fair share and so have I. I always thought that by the time I was 25 I would be a grown-up & would be able to take the next step in things if they happened to come along. But lately I’ve been asked a few things by CJ that I’ve just stared at him blankly because somehow I forgot to think about them.
No I did not get proposed to, but he asked me the other day…
I have no clue!! I always thought “At last” by Etta James would have to be played at least once but I don’t think I’d want it to be my married couple’s first dance?? He would want, “In my life” by the Beatles, but that song makes me cry to no end for some reason… hmmm…I just never thought of the wedding song?
Then he asked me the other day,
I have no idea. Paris, maybe? But I can’t speak French well, so it might be a lil hard to maneuver. Italy? Bali? Bermuda? I don’t know. BUT he has thought of it. He would want to go to the Carribean or Europe. I just never thought about it because maybe I truly never thought I’d get to this point in a relationship??
Wow…I can’t believe I’m actually writing this post. I thought I was ready for all of this but maybe I’m not. Cj & I have been dating now for a lil over 3 months & the fact that we’re talking about what we’ve always planned on for our future weddings is freaking me out a bit. I don’t think it’s wedding jitters because I’m not scared to get married I think it’s because I feel like we are rushing this relationship so much that we haven’t had a moment to breathe & really enjoy ourselves. Now it’s all family parties, friend’s parties, my obligations or his, and so much other stuff that we’re not enjoying each other enough. Before I know it, a year is going to go by & he might propose & I’m going to be like Uhh…Uhh… but we don’t spend any time together doing what we want to do? It’s not out of control but we need to change some things. I don’t want him to think I’m unhappy because that’s not it I just want us to do something for ourselves. We didn’t even get to see Inception yet…
This weekend I was supposed to go to Maryland with CJ & his friends but I doubt that’s happening now. I’m a lil sad because I was looking forward to the break. Maybe him & I could chill on the beach & just enjoy the silence. Nope. It might be run-around city. Somehow I need to have a talk with him over this weekend. I feel like I’m drowning a lil. We need to start acting like 2 people in a 3 month relationship not a 3 year relationship. Here goes nothing…
22 comments:
Oh good luck with that! Both people have to be comfortable in the pace of their relationship. If you're feeling rushed it's ok and good to speak to him about slowing it down.
Hope you have a good weekend and nice break even though you're not going away xoxo
good luck with that one! rushing is never good but if you make it a point to slow down then you may be paying too close attention to the pace instead of just enjoying the ride, does that make sense? well anywho in the end it doesnt matter if you know what your first song is, or even if youve ever thought of it, youll think about that when someone puts a ring on it at the right time!
i'd be freaking out too after 3 months! - i'm also the laid back just sit back and see what happenes type of person too - and who HATES "plans" - so the whole "plan" at 3 months i'd be FREAKED!
goooood luck babes!
I think its a good idea to speak to him if you feel rushed...I bet he will understand and I think its important that you both are comfortable with it all:) Good luck,sweetie:)
Kisses and Happy Thursday
Good luck with that. I'm glad he's so great for you, but idea would probably scare me, too.
Sometimes you gotta' slow things down to really know if you're ready for the burdens and benefits of a really serious relationship...
yeah 3 months is pretty short to have marriage talk. lol my 1 year bf won't even have the marriage talk with me cuz he knows i'd get freaked out. then again I am pretty commitment phobic too...
Hunny!!! I can see why you are freaking out!!
I know fools rush in and all that stuff but when something is right, its right! if someone is right for you you just kinda know! I was with James for just less than a year before we married and I never doubted it was what I wanted. Sometiomes hesitation can kill a relationship, i was engaged before and after 7 years it just seemed that the moment had gone! Trust your own feelings, if you don't understan me saying 'when you know, you know' then this guy maybe isn't 'the one' xxx
If you see a future with him just explain that you feel a bit overwhelemed and while you really want to have a lasting relationship with him could he shelve the wedding talk till you catch up!!! Good luck hunny!!!
aww, this makes me warm and fuzzy inside.. isnt love grand? :]
I just don't think there is a specific rate of time that's acceptable to start talking about getting married. But if you feel rushed just tell him! Good luck.
Ramblings of a Small Town Girl
Woah, that's heavy after only 3 months. He seems like a sweet and sincere guy, but please do tell him he's moving too fast. You need to discuss this before it goes overboard and this relationship comes to a premature end. You two have potential as a couple, but rushing things won't help.
It seems like you two are running at different speeds. You may need to ask him to put the brakes on for a bit : ) If you're freaking out now and you don't say anything you'll break his heart when he proposes to you in a year or so! You seem like you know what you want. Always trust your gut!
xoxo
Be honest and he'll understand. My hubby knew to wait. He had never been married and I had been divorced for 4 years after a 15 year relationship.
He was patient and to this day won't tell me when he knew he was going to propose, but I think it was after 3 months.
He was patient and waited a year. Waited for me to get over freaking out about giving him a drawer in my house - then taking it back - then giving it again.
It took awhile, but I woke up one morning and knew I wanted to grow old with him and that's when I knew I was ready to re-marry.
ok, the first thing i thought of was, whoah, slow down. seriously. you, from what i gather are just getting your independence, your own first place, feeling good with or without a guy. so, my thoughts are enjoy that for a while. enjoy living alone for a while, alone does not mean lonely, remember that. enjoy your space. oh and yes, have a talk about spending time together outside of family and friends. you and he will see that it's then just about you and him. and is that ok, well then you'll find out right? i'm super excited you have found someone you are really, really liking, but just this post alone suggests the whoah i mentioned in the beginning of this comment. also, thanks so much for always being there on my blog, leaving super creative comments. i hope you don't take this the wrong way, you just seem to me to just be getting to a great place in life, enjoy that as it is for a while. sorry for the long post, i'm just back from class in boston and i'm all jazzed awake ;)
Not that I haven't already discovered that we have a lot in common, or at least a lot of similar interests, but "At Last" is my favorite Etta James song. "In My Life" is one of my favorite Beatles songs, and my mom and I always sang it when I was a kid. If I'm in the right mood, it totally makes me cry.
Anyhow, I'm still trying to get caught up. Things seem to be coming in waves, but I'm still here. I'm doing NaBloPoMo this month, so hopefully that'll get me back into the swing of things.
I certainly hope you and CJ have a good, long talk & everything is hunky dory.
Oh, and Barry gave me an award. I've passed it on to you. Mosey on over to Mimsy to get it. ^_^
I'm happy he's still thinking about that with you and having a future with you. Why don't you tell him you need to slow down a bit and enjoy each others company more than being surrounded [or suffocated} by so many other things? I think he'll understand tohugh
My ex-bf started talking about kids and marriage when I was only two months with him; it does feel a little rushed haha. But hearing how good it is between you two, I'm sure you guys can slow it down & enjoy each other for awhile :)
Go with what feels right, it will all work itself out in the end... :)
Have a great weekend, even if it is just rushing around the city!
Wow - I totally understand, I would be a little concerned 3 months in too! But I am glad that he's open about it and obviously cares about you a lot!
Good luck with talking to him. Hopefully he'll understand, and can save you from drowning. :)
Baby steps, baby steps, what is good today should still be good tomorrow right!
good luck! I know how overwhelming it feels when someone you care about is leaps and bounds ahead of where you are. I've been there and it's tough because you care about the person, but they are trying to force things to happen way too quickly. It's an uncomfortable place to be. :(
good luck :) you should never feel rushed in a relationship. i always believed that if someone was rushing me then there's a problem/control issues (which may or may not be true.) i have never been one of those girls that knows every detail of her wedding day. so the fact that you don't know all the details isn't surprising to me. not all of us are that way. the boyfriend and i have been together over 5yrs - and we know we want to marry each other... yet neither one of us could tell you where we want to go for a honeymoon, or what we would want to be our first dance song. no biggie. just breath and talk to him. he doesn't want the bs and games of young dating, therefore he should be able to listen to you speak your mind and feelings. :)
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