This was the one of the weirdest & hardest weekends I’ve ever had. I’ve NEVER done so much running around & without one moment to just sit down & breathe. I’m completely overwhelmed & exhausted out of my mind. The second I had a time to relax was about 2 hours ago when I got home. It has been non-stop since I got out of work on Friday. CJ & his friends ran me so ragged I’m desperate for a few moments alone to myself. CJ & I’s relationship somehow also lasted through this weekend of fights & brawls, none of which we’re our own. Yeah I’ll explain.
This weekend became a couples’ retreat type of weekend which I’ve been craving but not the fights. EVERYONE one of the couples we hung out with either had fights, broke up & got back together, compared me to CJ’s exes, or had those stare downs where they were pissed at each other. My head was spinning from it all because I honestly don’t know these people that well. Each of his couple friends have been dating for years & they are arguing about cheating, babies, weddings, living situations, & taking those next steps in life. I’ve listened to so much drama that all I wanted to do was go home & curl up into a ball & not be in a relationship. I’m sorry to say but 3 couples fighting right in front of me over the course of 60 hours had an effect on me.
It’s only been 4 months between CJ & I but I feel like we are moving way to fast. His biological clock is ticking for the other steps of his life as well as his friends. Mine isn’t. I just turned 25. I’m prepared to be in love, give myself to another person, maybe get engaged in a year, & get married and have kids in another 2 or 3. But for some reason people are shoving it down CJ & I’s throats questions about this stuff. ITS ONLY BEEN 4 MONTHS!!! His mom asked if I would consider a destination wedding. No, I don’t even want to think about it til at least a year of dating. One of his friend’s girlfriends was upset she wasn’t married yet & she is almost 30 & has been dating CJ’s friend for 4 years & flipped out. She was watching a wedding show & lost it in front of us all. One of the other guys was lying that he didn’t cheat when he did. Another of them is upset cuz the boyfriend was so horrible to her & she won’t leave him for what reason I don’t know. It was a disaster.
I had fun at some of the stuff but then the drama sliced it all up. I miss my boyfriend. I saw him all weekend with all these drama cases & barely spent any alone time with him. It was too muddied by his friend’s relationships & then he had family stuff on Sunday where he played with the lil kids & I had to go too so I barely saw my parents or have a moment to even do my make-up properly. It was too much. Way too much. I’m going to take off tomorrow of work because I need a chance to recuperate. I need to be me for a day, not a girlfriend. I will also talk to him about this tomorrow ASAP. This weekend was too much.
I did make 2 new friends in CJ’s friend’s girlfriends which rocked but I’lll talk about this tomorrow after I’ve had a chance to breathe. I feel like everything is in shambles. Sigh. New day…new start. Okay…see u tomorrow.