So about a month or so ago I was in the Christmas Tree Shop( P.S. Don't ask for X-mas tree in the middle of July, they don't have them) with my mom and started listening to the music playing. They usually play 60's and 50's music there. That's fine by me, I actually really like the oldies. My favorite song is by Brian Hyland called "Sealed with Kiss" and its from like the 50's. Anywho I start listening and I realize the song is about this guy cheating on his girlfriend and she finds out and is upset but she is staying with him because eventually he will wanna settle down and actually really loves her.........Um what?? The song is called, "Maybe I know" by Lesley Gore. I love alot of Lesley Gore songs like, "It's my Party", and "You don't own me" and many aweome others. This one though, hit the nail right on the head.
Now I havent really mentioned relationships yet but in the big picture I've been hurt. If I were a porcleain doll I'm not sure there is enough glue to put me back together without people seeing the dabs of glue. I've had guys cheat on me, I've been ridicolously strung along, I've had my heart royally ripped out of my chest, I've had guys kiss me and then stab me in the back at the same time, they've lied to my face while staring me dead in the eye or do that annoying looking around thing when they talk, I've cried til my eyes have burned for days, I've had toxic relationships, and I've even had a guy call me the wrong name. Some of those things have been my ticket out of the relationships but there is that one guy that lingers in the back of your head always and you hope maybe after all the kicks he'd come back and it would be something. I think thats why I have issues with this song because I seem to be doing exactly what she is singing. I keep hoping that one more time, one more memory, one more song, one more late night conversation will add up to something and that deep down somewhere there are true feelings....But who knows. It feels like I'm trying to make something of nothing and are literally fighting an ocean...yet then one curve ball hits and it's like So do you? Do you like me? Or is it just the friendship being powerful? Its sooooo difficult to pinpoint what means what, what you should do, what got lost in translation. I remember my mom telling me about another guy, "Oh Mel, your being paranoid, yes someone can be sick for three weeks straight." It's laughable. It truly is. Its so hard to read in between the lines. Or maybe I've just run out of glue.
Guys are freaking confusing. I really don't think they have any clue what they truly want. They are indecisive messes. BUT! From listening to the song on repeat a couple times, I think I shouldn't be waiting for his fun to end so our fun can begin. Or just keep up the friendship and forget about anything else....Sometimes something so small as a song can shed some light on a subject or shroud it in darkness. Sigh. I don't know. It's cheap to say guys are confusing, when all the thoughts in my head right now are confusing the hell out of me! I'm just shaking my head because thats all I can do right now.
Here's the lyrics to song:
Lesley Gore
Maybe I know that he's been a cheatin'
Maybe I know that he's been untrue
But what can I do
I hear them whispering when I walk by
He's gonna break her heart and make her cry
I know it's me they're talking about
I bet they all think I'll never find out
Ohhh but Maybe I know that he's been a cheatin'
Maybe I know that he's been untrue but what can I do
My friends are telling me that he's no good
He isn't treating me the way he should
He really loves me that's all I can say
Before my tears fall I just walk away
Ohh but Maybe I know that he's been a cheatin'
Maybe I know that he's been untrue
But what can I do
Ohhhh
Deep down inside he loves me
Though he may run around
Deep down inside he loves me
Some day he'll settle down
Ohhh Maybe I know that he's been a cheatin'
Maybe I know that he's been untrue
But what can I do
He really loves me that's all I can say
Before my tears fall I just walk away
Ohh but Maybe I know that he's been a cheatin'
Maybe I know that he's been untrue
But what can I do
Ohh but Maybe I know that he's been a cheatin'
Maybe I know that he's been untrue
But what can I do
"What can I do?" - The answer is leave. But can I truly leave? Sigh.
1 comment:
oh sgod this so song is too truthful *.*
"Before my tears fall I just walk away"
Been there :(
someday we'll walk away and there will be a bright new day, and then we'll sigh, but this time it will be because we have been saved :)
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