There was supposed to be a wedding I would have had to go today. It didn't happen. My two friends broke up before the wedding invitations went out. I'm staring at the save the date card and its just feels weird. It's an odd day when you know you were supposed to be somewhere and then from some twist of fate you aren't. I feel a lil bit like I'm in a coma and somewhere somehow it's taking place and I'm there drinking champagne and having the blast that I thought I might. Actually where this group of friends now are, I would have paniced over the akward moments of things and finding a date. I probably would have asked my ex from about a year ago but I'm glad I didn't open that can of worms. It's just such an odd feeling of displacement. The weather today was crappy as hell too in NY & NJ so all I can think of this Alanis Morissette song, "Ironic"...where she says, "It's like rain on your wedding day..."
Maybe it's odd because I'm looking for forms of happiness so desperately lately and this reminds me of the potholes in the scheme of things. I'm well aware of life's ups and downs but I was just hoping for some light.
It will come just right now I'm stuck in the dark for another period of
time.
This is an odd blog...Im sorry...but I'm in an odd place at the moment. I think this week the adult education classes booklets from my high school comes out. Perhaps I'll take a class, perhaps I'll go back to the gym, maybe I'll get all dressed up and try to meet someone new to pull me out of this funk.
It's my grandfather's 87th birthday tomorrow so I have something to look forward to. I might even make some chocolate covered strawberries.
"The night is darkest before the dawn" - Harvey Dent, Dark Knight, 2008
3 comments:
=( I hope you get out of this funk really soon! chocolate covered strawberries will hopefully do the trick =)
On the lighter note, I think of this scene in one of my favorite shows when I think of rain on your wedding day. It's Taiwanese show "It Started with A Kiss" and their wedding takes place in pouring rain, but ti was still adorable! So maybe think of that to cheer you up?
And I'm sorry abot your friends breaking up =(!
Aw that's so sad :( At least they didn't stay together just for the wedding though and end up with even bigger regrets!
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Hope you had a good time at your grandfather's birthday. Have a wonderful week! xoxo
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