Monday, March 28, 2011

Hello Again, Friend of a Friend, I Knew You When…


This past St. Patty’s Day I took part in something that involved an Ex. However, it wasn’t one of mine. Last Sunday’s parade I was walking away from a line of people behind CJ when suddenly he turned around and said, “Oh Melanie Kiss me, Please.” Of course I let my boyfriend kiss me and dip me back in front of all those people. I came up for air and he took my hand and had this huge grin on his face. At first I was like, “What the fuck just happened?”, however he soon explained.

Apparently in the crowd was his ex from about 2 years ago, whom he dated for 4 years and had almost married. He has told me he even bought a ring for her but she dumped him before he could pop the question. CJ must have spotted her in the crowd and we made out right in front of her and her current boyfriend which she left Cj for. For some reason tho the incident is bothering me but why?


I turned back to look at where she was supposed to be and in my quick scan of the crowd there she was staring right in my direction. I didn’t catch her eye, I didn’t want to look directly at her so I turned back to Cj and continued walking up the street with him and the others.  

Now I’m ALL for the slap in the face to your exes after the breakup to show them “Hey you were wrong to dump me and now I’m happy as hell without you,” but this incident made me feel awkward. Cj tho has been happy that it happened so I haven’t told him that it was weird for me. He got his retribution to her in that moment and now he feels like a weight has lifted off his chest. Good for him but did it have to be THAT WAY?

But is there really a better or worse way to say “Fuck you” to an Ex after a Break-up? 
I don’t know…


I had my moment at the Birthday Massacre concert. When I happened to run into my Brown-eyed Mr. Big ex at the concert and he asked me if I wanted to join him and some girl on the trip back home a taxi. I got to say to him, “No thanks. My Boyfriend drove me in. He’ll take me home.” It felt so fucking Awesome to see this guy take a step back and say softly, “Ohhh…okay then.” And it felt EVEN better to watch my past walk away as my future returned to me moments later. Glorious vengeance…

I had my moment, so CJ should have his. Completely understandable. Maybe I’m being a silly. Good that she saw how much I love him and how someone is treating him the way he should be treated. Awesome that he has a girlfriend that is proud of him and she needed to know that. Kickass that somewhere in her cold heart she feels a twinge of regret that she isn’t the girl receiving that awesome kiss. Maybe tho  I wish that I wasn’t drunk when it happened and I wish I knew what was going on initially so I could have done it better. Maybe…

What do you think on the subject? Have you ever gotten that shot of vengeance on an ex? Is it right to get that last dig in? 
I’d love to hear…


Title: “Black Sheep” by Metric   

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17 comments:

Alicia said...

i think its totally normal to feel awkward about it somewhat.. its a double edged sword. its good that he had his "moment" like you said, but at the same time, it can be awkward to see someone you know they cared about...but either way, you're with him now, and he's happy to show that off!! :)

Len♥reNeverM♥re said...

I try my best-est not to dwell in the past! Too much emotional baggage just to heavy to carry~ spring forward always~~~*

xo

Chandana said...

if you and your ex have parted ways in a friendly way, you wont have that urge to prove it to the other person that 'Hey look at me.. am doing so good without you'
Of course if one has dumped the other, and that too after a long and serious relationship... there would be that urge as you said to SLAP him/her in the face and say 'Yeah.. to hell with you'. In a similar experience, i almost did that but at the last moment it felt very immature and childish and i felt i dint have to prove anything to anyone... he dumped me. so what? I dont need to prove it to him(of all the people!) that am in a much better relationship now.. It sure gives a kick i agree but i wouldn't want my current boyfriend to feel awkward or that i still have feelings toward my ex. What's over is over.

tess said...

That does sound a bit awkward and I think you're right to be a bit weirded out by the incident. Although you and CJ both had your moments, I think the reason why his is bothering you more is because it was so showy and involved you. When you ran into Mr. Big, it was just you who could tell him off, but when CJ saw his ex, he dragged you into it by making out with you right in front of her. Even worse, he didn't tell you why until after. Although I don't think it's anything to worry about, I think that's why it's been getting to you lately. Hopefully both of you are over your exes now and won't have anymore odd run-ins.

Lady Grey said...

hmmmmm, I see what you mean. I think it might bother me as well. I guess I wouldn't be able to help but question why he would need to make such a big show about it... as in, worst case scenario, is he not over her? But.... if you reverse the roles and it was you seeing your ex, you'd equally want to rub it in his face in the "see what you're missing out on" kind of thing. I get it. We're all human, and jealousy is part of our nature. Don't worry about it!
xo

The Shanner of Attention said...

I'm assuming since it was a St. Patty's day celebration that alcohol was involved, and as an Irish girl who loves a drink or two, I think that's how the tipsy me would have played out the scene too. Of course, it probably isn't the BEST way to do it, but if it made him feel better, then so be it. :)

Cafe Fashionista said...

I don't know. I think that taking revenge on an ex, by showing that you're with someone new and better, is somewhat immature. To me, it makes me think that, instead of moving on, you are still interested, even if slightly, in the other person. You want them to see that you're with someone new. I've never been a fan of it myself. :/

Couture Carrie said...

Hmmmm tough decision.... I think it's probably best to just let it (him) go...

xoxox,
CC

Diana Mieczan said...

I think if you dont feel ok with it all, maybe you should let CJ know about it and just simply talk about it. Sometimes it helps when you know all the reasons behind. Kisses and hugs, darling
Happy Tuesday

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

I can see both sides of it. I'm the type to want to make someone a little jealous so if I had been CJ I probably would have pulled the same move. However, I can understand why you'd feel awkward as well.

From all you've told us about CJ, it's easy to tell how much he loves you. I'd just let it pass.

Karena said...

Oh Melanie, breaking up is hard to do...sometimes. Have you ever tried to remain friends....that is a trip!

I do have a Giveaway from The Zhush I know you will love!

xoxo
Karena
Art by Karena

Bathwater said...

I have often wanted one of those moments!

Novelista Barista said...

haha GREAT TOPIC!!!!!!!!!!! well.... as i dont totally agree with seeking revenge on ex's... and i normally would never do anything like that, but if this person hurt u that badly that that ONE jab at them would make it worth it,,, id totally do it.
i actually just did it to M this weekend,,,where i put up pictures on facebook from my birthday with another guy... but only bc he has been rubbing things in my face.. and i felt like i could finally have my time to sign in the revenge department.

but i can see how it would make U feel uncomfortable bc of that fact...... BUT, since u are most likely and definitely much hotter then her,, i think u should bask in the glory a little bit too..because he obviously thinks much much higher of you then her, so its all around a win win for u... but i can see how u might take it a little awkwardly bc its def no un-awkawrd situation.

i hope that makes sense.

Dancing Branflake said...

Honestly, I agree with you that your boyfriend's reaction was immature. At first I thought he just panicked, but the fact that he's still proud of what he did would also rub me the wrong way. However, that's what relationships are for- to help you grow and learn how to be a better person. It's amazing how exes are the catalyst to people regressing though. It sounds like she really hurt him and he's slowly getting over it. It takes time and that's understandable.

CAPow! said...

I think I would feel weird about that reaction to seeing an ex too. I've been with M and ran in to two of his separate ex's on separate occasions...and nothing like that ever happened.

Constructive Attitude said...

I can totally see why it would make you feel weird or upset you. it is weird, and it almost makes you feel used? (Im sure that wasnt CJ's intention BUT still.....)

Krystal said...

that's an intereting situation, i don't know how i'd feel about it but probably like you!

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