There comes a time in a relationship where you will start to frustrate one another and eventually blow up at each other. Everyone keeps telling me that it is perfectly natural. Well they’re right. But the queasy feeling because of it in the pit of your stomach may not go away at the end of the fight…it might linger. This is what happened to me this weekend.
That “Something is not right” feeling boiled in the back of my head and I was trying to simmer the flames by watching a lite movie. I know I keep coming back to this movie but I was watching “Eat Pray Love”. I had just finished the book so I wanted to watch the movie. There is a certain scene where she talks about the physics of two people. When something is constant and then changes, for example if one person starts pulling away, of course the other person will try excessively to keep that person. That person might seem needy, clingly, and will try WAY TOO HARD to be with the other and it will in turn backfire.
Then the lightbulb over my head turned on…
On Saturday night, CJ and I were sitting in my condo; him doing his own thing and I was do a suduko puzzle when the words just popped out of my mouth,
“Hey hun, can I tell you something?” He knods to me. “You know how you’ve been playing on the computer so much and wanting me to do my own thing while we are still chilling? Well I think it’s making me feel like your pulling away from me and I think the reason why I’ve been so nervous around you is because of that and it’s making me try extra hard maybe to an extreme to be this perfect girlfriend but I really just want to know what's up?”
To which CJ looked up to me and said,
“This moment is why I love you as much as I do. Mel I’m just stressed and tired and maybe I’m taking it too far. I'll try to not be so distant and tell you more about what's going on with me. You care so much about our relationship and me and I’m not used to having a girlfriend that cares as much as you do. I never had that. I love that thought about how to help. It shows how much you care. I just want to chill out sometimes together without having it always be like a date and trust me I’m not going anywhere. I love you baby.”
And there you have it. I condensed a lot our words but more or less that’s what happened. He came over to me and kissed me after and that aching feeling I had in my chest left. I felt so much better and I think he does too. We were able to talk about things like two rational adults and figure out what the problem was. I’m so happy that we worked out the kinks and you’re all right; fighting or argumentatively discussing can bring you closer as a couple if you communicate and make your true feelings known. Sometimes you need to look to an outside source for solutions and trust me it works.
I’m definitely letting out that big breathe I was holding…him too.
19 comments:
sounds like you have a very open, honest relationship :)
Nice blog!:)
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Thank you so much!
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I read this three times trying to figure out exactly how a chick-fil-a fixed your relationship, and then I realized I read the title wrong. lol
Good. Chick flicks are awsome to!! Bless yoU!
That is fantastic - good honest open communication is the secret of a good relationship. You guys are going to be great.
I've been a little out of the blogging loop recently and I'm really sorry to read that you've been having problems. I'm always rooting for you guys.
Communication is key. Sounds like you two just needed to say it out loud. Glad you're working it out. xxx
I think that being open about it is the best thing that you can do! Communication is the key to any good relationship.
Awww lovely story! Your boyfriend sounds like a dream! Haha, my bf is definitely not as good at expressing himself in words or fessing up to his shortcomings ;) You guys sound like a perfectly wonderful couple and you let each other be who they are!
I'm glad you guys worked it out. It's always good to talk. I'm glad that you were both willing to do so. It's the worst when you want to fix it and the other person refuses to talk about it.
Glad to hear things worked out well =)
aw melanie, i'm happy that you are happier now... :) sometimes, a single conversation plus an extra kiss is all it takes to make us feel a lot better.
*hugs*
Talking definitely helps, and I'm glad it all worked itself out. :)
good its good to talk things out... im glad he understood and was able to listen and talk it out with u. :)
I'm glad you guys communicate so well! That will pull you through almost anything.
That's a great story and admirable that you can come out and say what you feel and he understands.
Nice! so glad you guys can just talk it out. I'm so glad the weight has been lifted !
This makes me happy! Communications is rreally key, but it takes a while to figure that out in a relationship. My husband I were talking last weekend after he said something about our past that offended me, and it he put it in a different perspective that made me happy. ABout how our fighting in the past brought us closer and how much we've grown together. It's pretty amazing. I'm so happy for you & CJ!
That is so awesome...and mature. He's a keeper for sure - and you're a keeper too I think :)
What a beautiful post. I like how you've chose the SATC pic from that episode...I think we've all dated too many guys like Big! Hence why we feel the need to try to hard. Glad you guys just talked it out.
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