Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The Storm...


"He said there's a storm coming in." - Gas Station Attendant
"I know" - Sarah Conor, Terminator

Today it rained in buckets. It's still raining actually. I can hear the wind outside. Everytime there's a storm I think of the movie, "Terminator" & those last lines above of the movie. The first two movies are my favorites. I can't imagine what I would do if I knew the future. If some hot guy showed up one day & told me my son would save the world. I'd probably freak. hehe. In case anyone didn't know, Terminator Salvation came out yesterday so it's in stores.

Hmmm...Storms. I've been a storm of emotion lately. One thing after another is reminding how things used to be. For example, 3 Back to the future references in one day. Don't ask. Trust me. Then there is a text that I recieved that I opened with hope that maybe it was, "Hey we haven't seen each other in a month. We should chill." But no. It was a text of "We should chill soon." When I wrote, "Yeah that would be cool. Miss ya." I of course got no response. I hate wasting perfectly good and meaningful I miss yous. Sigh. I knew better. At least tho I said it. I was honest.

This is a snippet I wrote months ago, but I don't think anyone read it, so here it is again. It works so perfect in this moment, yet again...

I've mentioned before of a writer named Kate Chopin. Ever hear of her? The name may ring a bell if you ever looked at the summer reading list in high school or happened to read one of her stories. She was so pivotal in the late 1800's and her stories were published in Vogue Magazine. My favorite short story of her is called "The Storm". When i first read it, I got chills. Its about a woman named Calixta who has a husband and a small boy who go out one day to the market, leave her home, and then the storm hits. The storm is in the shape of a man named Alcee. I still can't get over that I was reading a love scene from 1898 that was more full of passion and love and sexier then many of the erotic novels of today. Calixta lets go of her life in the arms of this man she had known in the past as the storm rages on around them. I often thought that if my Brown-eyed Mr. Big (The Mess) and I ever got back to some semblance of how we were it would be a storm. Well it was a storm again but only for a lil while. It was kinda like Sarah Conor & Reese in Terminator...a lil bit.

"As she glanced up at him the fear in her liquid blue eyes had given place to a drowsy gleam that unconsciously betrayed a sensuous desire. He looked down into her eyes and there was nothing for him to do but to gather her lips in a kiss." -"The Storm"

It's a very short story and it's actually a sequel to another of Chopin's work. I recommend reading the story if you ever feel a lil caged. Feeling that there are walls all around you and your trying so hard to look over them or break free from them. I found the Kate Chopin information via Kate Chopin. The short stories are also on that site.

Oh well. There will be a storm on Saturday because a mutual friend of the Mess's & I is having a birthday party. It's supposed to snow too on that day. Great, but I have to go. The mutual friend is too good to me not to go. It's going to be weird. I've been in these weird positions before. Have to suck it up & be there for a friend regardless of the Ex that will be watching my every move or not caring that I'm there which hurts just as equally. I don't know. Too early to say. So I got 3 days to get over this guy. I work good on deadlines. It's motivation. Okay Starting now...

19 comments:

Susan R. Mills said...

I'll have to check out Ms. Chopin's work. I love that kind of story. Hope all is well with you.

Keith said...

It's raining right now here. The wind is pretty hard. I can hear thunder. It's been pouring down all day and night. We've got more of the same on the horizon for the next few days.

Kristin said...

The ex and I went to high school and college together so we share custody of many friends! I hope it's not too bad for you. : )

Leah said...

Go girl... you can do it. Channel your thoughts to something else. And make sure you are at your best element during the party.

Secretia said...

Calixta,1898, passion. It's not anything new, they just kept it more private.

Storms can be good.

Secretia

Bathwater said...

I look back on the perfect time with my "Mess" good word name. It was one weekend, just about one year ago. No other time, in three years comes close. No other time ever will. We've past each other by.

Hold on to the memories and move on to new storms (he says). What about subway guy? Remember the ex is never as over it as they look. Dres to kill and ignore him ;).

Barry said...

Hi Melanie, it's an awkward situation to be sure. If I could offer any advice it would be to spend time with your mutual friend and anyone else you know at the party who you enjoy being around. I know it'll be VERY hard to do but try to take your mind off The Mess while you're there. Glances cast his way and not returned will just hurt more.

It's easy to focus on a lost love or friendship, to get wrapped up in those painful feelings even though we're surrounded by dozens of people who like or love us. I think it stems from a need for acceptance, and the thought that even one person may not think of us as they once did can be consuming. I speak from experience.

But look around you Melanie. If you think of all the friends you have in your life who love you, those on-line who feel a great sense of caring towards you, and the promise of possible new relationships such as 'platform guy' (lol), it'll help carry with you a sense of hope and happiness. I'm sure you'll be fine at the party and have a good time.

Oh, and I forgot to mention last night but please go to my blog and grab yourself the Zombie Chicken Award, for the effort you're putting into your novel. How appropriate! :)

Jennifer Fabulous said...

I officially need to read Chopin now!! Why I haven't done that before is beyond me. :)

Yikes. I'm sorry about this weekend...and all the awkwardness. That sucks. Just hold your head high though and know that he's not worth you. It's his major loss!!

Melanie's Randomness said...

Oh guys thank you for your comments. I think I'm going to wear my fem-bot shirt, straighten my hair, & try to act cool. If he doesn't miss me, it's his loss.

jayne said...

god, I hate that noncommittal, "let's hang out" and then it never happens

woodlandsblonde said...

Listen to Christina Aguilera Fighter! You'll be okay! Look hot, do your thing- there's a reason he's an ex!

drollgirl said...

you are going to go to that party, and hopefully have a good time. you can do it. get it done, and it might help you move on. ugh. it is so hard. i am supposed to see my former man relatively soon. i don't know if i can, or if it is a good idea. but if it has to happen, i'll just suck it up and do it. ugh.

Michelle said...

I love storms, I always feel like they wash away whatever's going on at the time.

Melanie's Randomness said...

That's funny to say it washing away things...today is bright & sunny and warm. Storms pass, thankfully.

OceanDreams said...

This author sounds great and I love the Terminator love story, it is one of my favorites! You will get through this storm and it may take time, so don't be hard on yourself. Try to separate yourself from the ex as much as possible so you can heal. Take care love! XO!

Sandy said...

Good luck this weekend Melanie. You are a strong woman and you can overcome difficult situations. Just remember, it's his loss.
From the age of 14 till about 28, there was a guy in my life; on again, off again. We were bad for each other; neither one of us could decide whether we wanted to be together or not and it never lasted long. He was my addiction. And I almost lost Barry early in our relationship over him. Thankfully I came to my senses (I think a girlfriend actually gave me a kick in the rear); I think our last conversation I told him I was getting married. I haven't spoken to him in about 15 years. And that's ok. We all need to cleanse ourselves of our toxic relationships.
Have a great time at the party and just ignore him ... he's not worth your time.

Blondie said...

I wish it were raining here ever! You'll be fine girlie. You're one tough broad! I love Chopin! Thanks for the sweet comments. I have entered you for the book! Kori xoxo

E.K. said...

Thanks for sharing Chopin. I watch Goonies when it rains ;)

Gigi said...

Melanie,
First, can I tell you how adorable you are? Your post is just great in so many ways. I love Chopin, too. In fact, I sometimes teach her to my college students. You are so right about her being more intense and passionate than many writers today.

I am sending you lots of good wishes and strength for the party on Saturday. We know you'll look gorgeous with your fabulous new hair products, and you'll be strong with all this blog love and support behind you.

xoxo Gigi

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