"I know" - Sarah Conor, Terminator
Today it rained in buckets. It's still raining actually. I can hear the wind outside. Everytime there's a storm I think of the movie, "Terminator" & those last lines above of the movie. The first two movies are my favorites. I can't imagine what I would do if I knew the future. If some hot guy showed up one day & told me my son would save the world. I'd probably freak. hehe. In case anyone didn't know, Terminator Salvation came out yesterday so it's in stores.
Hmmm...Storms. I've been a storm of emotion lately. One thing after another is reminding how things used to be. For example, 3 Back to the future references in one day. Don't ask. Trust me. Then there is a text that I recieved that I opened with hope that maybe it was, "Hey we haven't seen each other in a month. We should chill." But no. It was a text of "We should chill soon." When I wrote, "Yeah that would be cool. Miss ya." I of course got no response. I hate wasting perfectly good and meaningful I miss yous. Sigh. I knew better. At least tho I said it. I was honest.
This is a snippet I wrote months ago, but I don't think anyone read it, so here it is again. It works so perfect in this moment, yet again...
I've mentioned before of a writer named Kate Chopin. Ever hear of her? The name may ring a bell if you ever looked at the summer reading list in high school or happened to read one of her stories. She was so pivotal in the late 1800's and her stories were published in Vogue Magazine. My favorite short story of her is called "The Storm". When i first read it, I got chills. Its about a woman named Calixta who has a husband and a small boy who go out one day to the market, leave her home, and then the storm hits. The storm is in the shape of a man named Alcee. I still can't get over that I was reading a love scene from 1898 that was more full of passion and love and sexier then many of the erotic novels of today. Calixta lets go of her life in the arms of this man she had known in the past as the storm rages on around them. I often thought that if my Brown-eyed Mr. Big (The Mess) and I ever got back to some semblance of how we were it would be a storm. Well it was a storm again but only for a lil while. It was kinda like Sarah Conor & Reese in Terminator...a lil bit.
It's a very short story and it's actually a sequel to another of Chopin's work. I recommend reading the story if you ever feel a lil caged. Feeling that there are walls all around you and your trying so hard to look over them or break free from them. I found the Kate Chopin information via Kate Chopin. The short stories are also on that site.
Oh well. There will be a storm on Saturday because a mutual friend of the Mess's & I is having a birthday party. It's supposed to snow too on that day. Great, but I have to go. The mutual friend is too good to me not to go. It's going to be weird. I've been in these weird positions before. Have to suck it up & be there for a friend regardless of the Ex that will be watching my every move or not caring that I'm there which hurts just as equally. I don't know. Too early to say. So I got 3 days to get over this guy. I work good on deadlines. It's motivation. Okay Starting now...