Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Don’t be “THAT” Person, Okay? It Will Cost You Friends…


Twenty-somethings are notorious for their big groups of friends, having “The” bar they always hang out at, and routine outings. BUT all of this changes when a certain event happens. One of the group will meet someone to date. We’ve all done it, it’s okay to admit it…drop your friends for the first few days or weeks of the new relationship. It’s COMPLETELY understandable that those first dates are going to be one-on-one time with the new person and then slowly but surely the couple will integrate back into the groups of friends and hang out. However then you have “those” friends who drop everybody except for the new significant other and you never see them again….that really should be unacceptable friend behavior. I mean it…

Recently CJ got a few buddies of his together to start the promise of a band. They were all excited for their jamming sessions and I was a 110% supportive of this change. They had a few songs they all agreed on to work with and the reality of true possibility was staring them in the face. Alas, it was staring them in the face. The lead guitarist met a girl…

It’s very soon to say if this will be the downfall of this band dream but I’ve seen this happen countless times before. An ex-friend of mine, the second he got a girlfriend, dropped all of his friends & a film-making dream and only hung out with her friends. CJ’s best friend Sean only hangs out with the girlfriend and her friends. Another instance here and yet another instance there. It’s an epidemic. 


I’m hoping that this isn’t the case with CJ’s band. He was so happy about the band and like me the winter is not kind to our emotions. We both have seasonal effectiveness disorder and I thought this could be his light for the dark winter.  Mine will be my novel that will be done this winter. His should be his music. There is another band member that CJ hasn’t really talked to yet about the other’s “new girlfriend” so I wonder if two against one will push the other guy to do some very serious time management so they all won’t hate him. Lol.

Guys will be guys tho. I don’t know…I’m wishing CJ some luck in all of this. Lots of luck! 
*Crossing my Fingers*

Today’s Question:
Have You Had a Friend Disappear into a Relationship? Do You Think There is Anyway to Prevent it?

14 comments:

Dancing Branflake said...

My father in law has a button that says "still angry at Yoko." I find that too hilarious and definitely fitting for this blog post.

Shibby said...

Thankfully I have managed to escape friends like that and we just accept that we all have busy lives but new people don't get in the way of old good friends :)

I hope his band get themselves sorted it is such a shame to see that happen!

Shibby

Melanie's Randomness said...

->Dancing Branflake: Exactly!! Totally fitting! I'd wear it too... =)

Shannon said...

omg - I can so relate. I have lost a few friends to this epidemic and it drives me bonkers!

I'm glad you posted this. If I wasn't worried about "those" friends reading my blog, I would have written this post years ago.

KUDOS!

Cafe Fashionista said...

I have lost friends to the relationship vortex many times in the past and it has always baffled me. I think that if you are independent, you know that regardless of the relationship you are in, you don't need to shut anyone out. Everyone can be a part of your life. :)

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

Funny story...

My husband's best friend was NOTORIOUS for HATING his friends' girlfriends. Any time one of his friends would start dating someone he'd be a jerk to them. Everyone figured it was because he was jealous and worried about losing his friend to the girl. He did the same thing to me even though I always pushed my husband to have guy time.

Then the hubby's best friend started dating someone. And dropped off the face of the planet. He became exactly the type of guy that he worried all his friends would become. SO hypocritical!

Ally said...

This happens so often and it isn't an age thing! Both my mother and father have reported losing friends to new relationships and they are in their 60s! It's sad. My friend has been with this awful guy for like five years and since he came into her life our friendship was never been the same :(

By Sara Romero said...

First thanks for stopping by my blog :). I have TONS of friends who have done this, I agree with what you said, a few weeks even a couple months understandable but more than 2 months and that person is just blatantly self-centered and don't really value the friendship the same way. Those people are still my friends but friends I don't count on. There are so many variations of friendships but ultimately you know who has your back.

xoxo
FAKE EMPIRE
www.shopfake.com

aLia-nL said...

my boyfriend is the one who will put me first from others.but i always allow him to have his own time with his friends.although at times i am quite jealous with him hanging out and coming back late at night.but its not always that he have the chance to spend with his friends right? =) and most of his friends are still in touch with him.

Kristin said...

And often that relationship ends and the person is left all alone.

Cat said...

I think that when a relationship is new ... it can be easy to get swept away BUT one needs to come back down and find themselves outside of the relationship too :)

jozen said...

most definitely, i have to admit that i'm not the most gracious when they come crawling back after the break up... is that awful of me??

makeup artist in Sydney said...

That looks so great! That's definitely something I want to look into doing. :)

Bathwater said...

My best male friend J always disappears when he has a relationship. I most admit I have been a bit hard to find lately with my new job and dealing with finding time with Billy, but in the long run I will back.

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