Ever have that moment where you visit an old group of friends and realize your just not one of them anymore? Or you realize that you've GROWN UP so much more than them or rather have moved on from the past? Over the weekend I got to see people I honestly haven't seen in years. All my college friends & my gaming friends from when I used to go to conventions for it. Yes I had a nerd phase, I admit. I have NEVER in all my life felt so out of place. It was almost as if I was in a coma for 4 years and just woke up this Saturday with them.
I think they were expecting the crazy girl who was kind of going out of her mind years ago when she left Rutgers to re-appear yesterday. I'm not her anymore. I actually have a healthy relationship with a man who loves me & tells people our "How We Met" story with a big smile on his lips, I'm starting a New Grown-Up Job tomorrow that I need to use my skills, I have my own condo that is mine to call home, I drink cocktails and wine not the shooters of cheap vodka out of tea-light holders, I'm physically healthier than I've been in years & years, & I became the woman who I am today...not the confused caffeine crazed 18 year old who was following the crowd wherever it took her. I'm definitely not the one who played those role-playing games anymore to escape reality & to escape being me. I am delighted to be me...the Grown-Up Me.
My life has changed for better & I'm just not in that group anymore. But what is irking me a bit is that I'm totally comfortable with that. I'm okay with moving on from them. I moved out from under their comfort zone a long time ago, got out of their madness, and I think it's the best thing that has ever happened to me. Now I'm not trying to say they are bad people or anything like that, I'm just saying that I grew out of role-playing & their childish ways of life style. They have TONS of drama & I'm so glad to be out of it. It was a very sobering experience that makes me realize, "Hey...I might be heading in the right direction after all!".
Have you ever had that "Wow I Grew Up" Moment before?
What was yours?
24 comments:
I definitely get what you're saying. While I'm only 20, still in college and definitely have my nerdy ways, when it comes to my old friends from high school, I feel like I've grown up so much more than a lot of them and don't dwell on past drama that is completely petty--was then, definitely is now, not to mention irrelevant. I can still laugh with them and enjoy being with them, but as far as spending everyday with them or anything like that, I just can't anymore. I'm growing up and moving on in a different way than they are.
And that's okay.
:) Cheers to you! <3
There's nothing wrong with growing up doll! You can be mature and fun at the same time. Best of luck tomorrow!
Have a wonderful first day! You have such a great attitude about growing up. You are going to do great!
This is such a great realization to come to - and just in time for your new job. Best of luck with it and keep going in the healthy direction you are!
xo,
Carrie
Had the same experience. You hear your old buddies talk about women like they are 16. It's like they are stuck in the early 90's and you've moved on. It's kind of painful and also liberating. You know, that you did grow up. I can make bad jokes and be an uber geek but there is a time and place for that. (C'mon Mandy, there has to be a part of you that is still a little geeky? hehe). Good post! Good luck with the new job! :)
Good luck with the new job, I'm sure you'll do great!
I know that feeling with friends. People change over time. We meet new friends that we have more in common with and we leave others behind. It's sad at times, but that's life.
Sounds like your life has definitely moved in the right direction!
xo
So this is weird, especially considering all the getting out of role playing talk. I know we've never met but um, somehow, I feel proud of you. Way to grow up and stuff.
Hope you will have a great first day at work, sweetie. I know you will be fantastic! I think I had a few of those moments before especially when I met with old friends that I didnt see for a while. Hugs and kisses, sunshine
I love the title of this post. It couldn't be more perfect.
I can relate to this. After I had my little one, I moved on from most of my friends (who are still, at 30 years old, not doing much more than they were after graduating high school.) Can you imagine still being part of a group like that?! :\ Good luck today!
I ran into that kind of situation a few years back. I moved back home for a while after finishing college and caught up with some old high school friends. I looked around and realized I was really out of place. These people never left town and were still hanging out with each other. Not that I judge them for that. If that's where they're comfortable, good for them. But I quickly realized it wasn't where I belonged.
First, good luck at the new job! I'm so excited for you, Melanie - you are going to rock it!
As for my Wow I Grew Up Moment...I'd say it was just opening my eyes to toxic friends, and time-wasting boys. One day I just woke up and cut them all off, and I have never been happier. :)
I've had that happen so many times! Sometimes you just grow out of certain people :)
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good luck for our new job! and yes I've felt that I've grew out of people many times, it's just life, and you meet new people etc :)
During my second year of law school, I was out clubbing with some friends. I was already moving out of the go out and get trashed phase, but then that night, the cab we were in was rear ended. While I wasn't injured badly, I jammed my shoulder when I braced myself against the impact (NOTE: do not ever brace yourself). There I was waiting for the police to arrive, and my *slighlty* more intoxicated friends were badgering the cab driver to call another cab to come get us & take us to the next bar. I was like "are you for real? We were just in a car accident!" That's when my idea of a fun night with friends turned into a nice dinner with a glass of wine.
I am still refusing to grow up 9 to 4 can have the adult attire but the rest of the time I take as my own. Don't keep up with the Jones blindly make sure what you acquire is what you want.
I do know what you mean. It's always a jolt to reconnect with a group of people and realize you are SO OVER that part of your life. It's kind of awe-inspiring to see how much you've grown up since the last time you've seen them, especially since you don't really notice the change while it's happening. :P
Good luck with your new job! Can't wait to hear all about it. xoxo
being grown up has its perks, that is for sure!
and best of luck to you at the new job today! yay! how exciting!
So true!
I've had old friends/boyfriends who want to reconnect after a time and I can just never bring myself to want to hang out with those people because I'm not the same person I was anymore.
Amazing, isn't it? When you realize that you've actually grown up somewhere along the way?
:) I love your thoughts Melanie, and enjoy everything you post!
Playing It Cooley
Love this post and the story behind it. your such a great writer :) and oh Good luck with your new job!!!
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I had it recently when a gf of mine mentioned how often she was hungover and found it funny. We're in our 40's and getting drunk, throwing up and being hungover is just not my thing.
Ah... pretty, thought-provoking post :) Love Peter Pan! And best of luck in your new job! xx
Yes, I have had many of these realizations!!! It's amazing how many people want to continue the actions of what we used to be like 20 years ago...
Good luck with your new job - very exciting :)
xoxo
hope you had a great first day at work!!!
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