Ever have that moment where you visit an old group of friends and realize your just not one of them anymore? Or you realize that you've GROWN UP so much more than them or rather have moved on from the past? Over the weekend I got to see people I honestly haven't seen in years. All my college friends & my gaming friends from when I used to go to conventions for it. Yes I had a nerd phase, I admit. I have NEVER in all my life felt so out of place. It was almost as if I was in a coma for 4 years and just woke up this Saturday with them.
I think they were expecting the crazy girl who was kind of going out of her mind years ago when she left Rutgers to re-appear yesterday. I'm not her anymore. I actually have a healthy relationship with a man who loves me & tells people our "How We Met" story with a big smile on his lips, I'm starting a New Grown-Up Job tomorrow that I need to use my skills, I have my own condo that is mine to call home, I drink cocktails and wine not the shooters of cheap vodka out of tea-light holders, I'm physically healthier than I've been in years & years, & I became the woman who I am today...not the confused caffeine crazed 18 year old who was following the crowd wherever it took her. I'm definitely not the one who played those role-playing games anymore to escape reality & to escape being me. I am delighted to be me...the Grown-Up Me.
My life has changed for better & I'm just not in that group anymore. But what is irking me a bit is that I'm totally comfortable with that. I'm okay with moving on from them. I moved out from under their comfort zone a long time ago, got out of their madness, and I think it's the best thing that has ever happened to me. Now I'm not trying to say they are bad people or anything like that, I'm just saying that I grew out of role-playing & their childish ways of life style. They have TONS of drama & I'm so glad to be out of it. It was a very sobering experience that makes me realize, "Hey...I might be heading in the right direction after all!".
The moment of realization couldn't have hit me at a better time. Tomorrow is my FIRST DAY AT THE NEW JOB!!! I have to wear less eye-liner, get out my big-girl purse, show less cleavage, tone down the potty mouth, wear business attire, and lose the "I just crawled out of bed look"...at least from 8:30am-5pm. hehe. It should be interesting...very interesting. Wish me luck!
Have you ever had that "Wow I Grew Up" Moment before?
What was yours?