tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post3314475785636923256..comments2023-10-26T09:15:10.583-04:00Comments on Melanie's Randomness: So this is what it's really like? Getting the Rose & the Thorns...Melanie's Randomnesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11331778717585609001noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-52255601987903432572010-06-18T22:03:31.639-04:002010-06-18T22:03:31.639-04:00I am happy for you and your new relationship, but ...I am happy for you and your new relationship, but all I can tell you is to follow your heart, if you feel it is moving to quick then back away, only go as far as you feel comfortable, but I so not think that you should break it off just yet :).angel6033https://www.blogger.com/profile/08021557227371246549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-90436430044411525332010-06-18T20:48:11.158-04:002010-06-18T20:48:11.158-04:00This is so cool for you, I'm almost jealous! N...This is so cool for you, I'm almost jealous! No, I really am jealous lol! <br /><br />The great part is, there are no rules. There is no normal. It's whatever works for you. Tell him what you just told us...maybe in fewer words lol. Just be honest. If he means all the things he says he'll stick around whether you're sure right now or not.Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09528801797757394458noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-5910394491426873912010-06-18T18:20:42.869-04:002010-06-18T18:20:42.869-04:00I don't want to be a Debbie Downer, but let me...I don't want to be a Debbie Downer, but let me tell you I was in a similar situation once. The third time I hung out with "s" he dropped the L Bomb (I love you)...by the 4th time we hung out he was saying he wanted to marry me. And I was overwhelmed. Things felt WAY too rushed. I ended up breaking up with him at around the 8 week mark. And he ended up in the hospital with a break up induced anxiety attack...<br />but only you can determine if he is a weirdo, or if this is your storybook romance. How do you REALLY feel about it? If it feels wrong and kind of creeps you out, then it's not right.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07522737346381837048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-21055568245607160032010-06-18T13:14:52.397-04:002010-06-18T13:14:52.397-04:00Wow, he's already proposed!? That was fast! I ...Wow, he's already proposed!? That was fast! I have to tell you, in all honesty, listen to what your heart tells you. If you aren't ready, then he will understand and wait for you. I know everyone is different, but marriage requires some thought and time. It's a BIG step. Take as much time as you need and talk to friends and family for advice :)Heather Taylorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11559509881772694672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-35133197037232732010-06-18T12:12:00.746-04:002010-06-18T12:12:00.746-04:00Jump in!
Don't be afraid. Life is too short. ...Jump in!<br /><br />Don't be afraid. Life is too short. If you don't you might regret it later. There is nothing worse than living with regret.<br /><br />Besides its not like he's dragging you to go register at Macys or to the church to go talk to the priest. Guys out there usually shy away from meeting family, friends and just the girlfriend word. If he's this open so soon he may really like you so give him a chance.<br /><br />Remember when Aiden made Carrie wait to have sex? Romance...it's easy to overlook these days. Enjoy it! Good luck!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-14476507013495353742010-06-18T00:18:23.942-04:002010-06-18T00:18:23.942-04:00Wow, it sounds like this guy really is moving a li...Wow, it sounds like this guy really is moving a lil fast! You have him so smitten, Mel!<br /><br />Isn't it funny how you can go from one extreme to the next? First, a guy who gets cold feet at the thought of being in a serious relationship with you, and then right on to a guy who is wondering what the names of your kids will be. Hehe.<br /><br />First, I just think you are lucky to have found such a sweetie. You deserved better and have it now.<br /><br />But, you need to let him know that things are moving a tad too fast. Explain that you have never been in a real relationship before and you need to take things much slower. Tell him you want to enjoy a relationship. If it leads to marriage, then so be it. :)<br /><br />Good luck with the talk. I hope he understands! xoxoJennifer Fabuloushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07521908385026885699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-41308905771171839302010-06-17T21:33:26.104-04:002010-06-17T21:33:26.104-04:00If youre not ready to get married, then by all mea...If youre not ready to get married, then by all means, dont! I did that with my starter husband. We lived together and the next step seemed to be marriage. I wasnt ready and can remember thinking while standing at the altar... "three steps and I could be out that door" I probably should have bolted at that time. <br />Doesnt mean you have to stop seeing the guy.. IF... he can go by the no pressure rules. Dont rule out what could be great.nachohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15569223180072244956noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-50710073136438248662010-06-17T20:29:34.561-04:002010-06-17T20:29:34.561-04:00I don't really have anything new to say, I wou...I don't really have anything new to say, I would just be regurgitation what everyone else has said.<br /><br />I wish you the best of luck and the most happiness whatever your decision.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-27289199846207553462010-06-17T19:51:50.182-04:002010-06-17T19:51:50.182-04:00To me that's really fast. Every relationship m...To me that's really fast. Every relationship moves at it's own pace, but you should have a choice in how fast that is. To me, those that fall in love fast fall out even faster. <br /><br />Check out my blog sometime!Best Kept Secretshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03924118194170503100noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-87630584626043182972010-06-17T19:41:56.340-04:002010-06-17T19:41:56.340-04:00How dare you entice me with stills of one of my fa...How dare you entice me with stills of one of my favorite movies! How dare!<br /><br />Anyways, it's normal if you're a cavemen, with a Never Let Me Go-level lifespan. But, can't hurt, can it?Simonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08085105568601878075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-73485396770526386162010-06-17T19:14:11.857-04:002010-06-17T19:14:11.857-04:00I know people usually say this but it's quite ...I know people usually say this but it's quite true-"you'll know if it's right, because it will feel right". Hope that helps a little. Will be back to see how it went :-)stylenuggetshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05858759674971943285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-30491056969356361882010-06-17T18:40:07.554-04:002010-06-17T18:40:07.554-04:00Ooh, the bliss of a new relationship is wonderful ...Ooh, the bliss of a new relationship is wonderful isn't it? I think only you can know how you feel and if that feels right. My hunny says when he met me it was love at first sight :) Five yrs later, we are still boyfriend and girlfriend. What can I say, we are in love but taking it at our own pace.OneCraftyFoxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01261793056599847648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-34864384565723794312010-06-17T18:29:56.033-04:002010-06-17T18:29:56.033-04:00i have felt that feeling. chillax. it's not ab...i have felt that feeling. chillax. it's not abnormal. but the fact that you want to sorta take it slow IS normal! so definitely have this talk. tell him how you feel and enjoy every minute of the ride :)<br /><br /><a href="http://www.fourthgradenothing.com/" rel="nofollow">FourthGradeNothing.com</a>Allyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06076912971009055017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-73829383500238241752010-06-17T15:35:23.690-04:002010-06-17T15:35:23.690-04:00Thanks Melanie =)
Wow, CJ sounds like a breath o...Thanks Melanie =) <br /><br />Wow, CJ sounds like a breath of fresh air compared to what is usually encountered (that said, I live a very sheltered life and knew very few boys who weren't gentlemen. But even so, when I met Joel (my fiance) I was absolutely in awe. To this day I am so thankful for who he is and what he believes about relationships, which was even better than I expected). <br /> Though I'm coming from a different worldview and mindset, I think that whether you do or don't stay with CJ, you need to communicate well, and I think that it is GOOD to have a definitive <i>purpose</i> to a relationship. I believe they should be <i>headed</i> somewhere, not only for fun and (eventually...) a broken heart. Even if you aren't ready to commit to be someone's wife yet (which you shouldn't without knowing them well!!), it can still be an intentional relationship...with the purpose of getting to know one another better to see if you would get married. You don't have to be engaged day 1, just have a plan day 1! And if it doesn't work out, it will still be a success because you will have reached the goal of knowing if they're the right person. <br /> <br /> But I also believe that though butterflies are important (and totally part of love), love is based on commitment and not just emotion, so be careful with wanting a specific heart flutter, when love may creep more slowly and warmly. <br /> <br /><br /> Well, that got pretty long! I'm young and I've had a very different experience, but it was a blessed and successful one. I hope you didn't mind my sharing, even if you disagree =) <br /><br />love,<br />CaitCait https://www.blogger.com/profile/13978265743415465731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-62529080793041524552010-06-17T15:10:07.736-04:002010-06-17T15:10:07.736-04:00It is normal for people to feel this way. The que...It is normal for people to feel this way. The question is while these feelings continue? I would agree you want to slow down and keep things moving a a positive direct. It all sounds very fast to me.<br /><br />Marriage is the biggest commitment of your life it shouldn't be rushed.Bathwaterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18286545216706532921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-86573067789034691612010-06-17T14:21:41.181-04:002010-06-17T14:21:41.181-04:00The best you can do, is be completely honest about...The best you can do, is be completely honest about what you are feeling. If he's a great guy, he'll understand and slwo things down a bit so you have time to form a real attachment, and you can take time to decide if the butterflies are there, or if they ever will be :) HUGS!Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14645402814728071065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-67333938070983696792010-06-17T13:50:02.668-04:002010-06-17T13:50:02.668-04:00Definitely tell him everything you wrote in this p...Definitely tell him everything you wrote in this post! If you start seriously dating, you could get pressured into moving faster than you want and you'll regret that. Do things at your speed, regardless of how much he talks about the future or marriage or whatever. It's your life!Michelle Schraudnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09853442595359644884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-9021994948205617062010-06-17T13:04:32.505-04:002010-06-17T13:04:32.505-04:00Ohh honey, if you are not ready for it...that is o...Ohh honey, if you are not ready for it...that is ok...He seems like a guy who would understand if you would tell him that all this is moving little too fast, but you do care for him and you want to keep seeing him! Just that you need time....Believe me all this is normal:) <br />Kisses darling and have a great night...Sweet dreams:)Diana Mieczanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15261207538442821812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-1603153744705868392010-06-17T13:00:14.007-04:002010-06-17T13:00:14.007-04:00Wow, this is intense. Melanie, I know you've b...Wow, this is intense. Melanie, I know you've been looking for a real relationship for awhile, but just because CJ is the first guy who is really willing to commit, doesn't mean that you have to stick with him if things become too much. I know you don't want to throw away something that seems so good right now, but if you do feel like he's pressuring you too much and moving too fast you need to sit him down and discuss both of your expectations for your relationship and see if they can ever align. If not please don't lead him on (and who knows maybe he is the love of your life, but how on earth would you know only a month into a relationship, I think it is a bit unfair on his part that he keeps dropping engagement hints after such a short span of time), but also don't compromise too much and find yourself stuck in this whirlwind romance and ending up engaged to a guy who you really don't love yet. Furthermore (wow that sounds so formal, and I really hope I'm not condescending here because what do I know) step back and look at CJ himself. Besides his chivalry do you like him as a person? Does he like you as a person? I guess what I'm getting at is do you really like each other or more of the idea of each other? Are you just a girl he hopes to marry or are you Melanie, the girl he hopes to marry? Similarly, is he CJ the great boyfriend or CJ the guy who actually treats you with respect? I just know that things are moving fast and you don't want to make the wrong decision, but do you two honestly care for each other or are you two fulfilling roles for each other? Don't get me wrong he seems like a great guy, but is the guy?<br /><br />sorry if this came off as really presumptuous, as you know, I'm not particularly experienced, but this was just my thought after reading this post. Please don't take any of it the wrong way, you're a smart woman who follows your heart and I know you'll figure out what's best for you and for him. The fact you want to sit down and talk about this soon is a good step. good luck!tesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01831607001500157567noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-54214234981532186972010-06-17T12:39:35.772-04:002010-06-17T12:39:35.772-04:00What I would tell him is exactly what you said her...What I would tell him is exactly what you said here. You think he's great, you love the things he's done for you and the kind of relationship he's introduced you to, you want to be his girlfriend (I assume), but you have no idea if you want to marry him. If he can't respect that you need time to figure that out then that's not fair.Connie @ SogniESorrisihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05518813441351667294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-41363126836789728852010-06-17T12:33:59.797-04:002010-06-17T12:33:59.797-04:00First up, you definitely need to talk to him about...First up, you definitely need to talk to him about how you feel, okay???<br /><br />Secondly, just remember that there are so many ways that we all tackle and look at relationships. I have been with guys for month who have NEVER mentioned the C (commitment, obv) word. Then you get the occasional one who jumps right in there head first. I wonder what it would be like to meet one of those.<br /><br />I'd probably feel exactly the same as you, were I in your situation. But if you don't speak to him about it, it's just going to become a bigger and bigger issue and then it will all blow up on you, so better to get it all out now.<br /><br />Wow, I'm good at giving advice. Shame I can't take it!Phttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04425977546505490830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-44026373276358774052010-06-17T11:36:25.989-04:002010-06-17T11:36:25.989-04:00COMMUNICATION! It makes relationships work - and i...COMMUNICATION! It makes relationships work - and if you're entertaining the thought you have to be HONEST with him. In a gentle way of course.<br /><br />I think you can mention the fact that you like monogamous relationships and that you really are moving one day at a time. You can tell him that you really like him - but feel that things are a bit rushed. You can tell him that you're scared of marriage or a little afraid of commitment. That is what a relationship is all about - confiding in that other person and them understanding your point of view and going from there.<br /><br />Just take your time but definitely tell him what page you're on! He's telling you where he's at without any objections from you. No one can read minds - you really have to tell him - just add some reassurance since you don't want to lose him!Rich Life Revivalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03991590226341502032noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-8547491045883992932010-06-17T11:29:17.412-04:002010-06-17T11:29:17.412-04:00Take your time, darling, and let your heart guide ...Take your time, darling, and let your heart guide you... Good luck!<br /><br />xoxox,<br />CCCouture Carriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07401719580947285891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-82811130527716055802010-06-17T10:42:17.453-04:002010-06-17T10:42:17.453-04:00hmm why don't you let him know that you're...hmm why don't you let him know that you're not ready to think about marriage just yet and want to see how things go with him before you guys can start talking about that stuff? I hope things work out for you. he sounds like a gentleman and I hope he sticks around and isn't in a mad rush to get married.Sanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08732805084858507471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4107310654054360666.post-81933020737305687752010-06-17T09:02:44.022-04:002010-06-17T09:02:44.022-04:00Different people act different ways. I've had...Different people act different ways. I've had girls that acted that way, while others acted very distant after 6 months or so. I wish you the best.Keithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14832710800680256206noreply@blogger.com