Sunday, January 31, 2010

You gotta Save wherever you can!!


Sometimes money just seems to beat you up, kinda like what happens to the guys in the movie, "The Hangover". (Hilarious movie btw.) I wish I could just go to Atlantic City & win it all. But frankly, I'm not that good at Texas Hold'em & I seem to only win like $2 once in a blue money when I do those scratch-off lottery thingies. So I have to resort to other measures.

At the end of each month I try to do a post about how I've attempted to save money this month. I'm a single girl in her 20's, trying to move out of my parent's house, & trust me it's not easy. I could easily rent a place right now or put down a down payment BUT I wouldn't have anything left over to live on. I'd be living from paycheck to paycheck & I can't afford to do that right now mentally or physically. So I gotta save where I can so when I do move out I could actually enjoy it. Waiting should be my middle name, because it's all I seem to still be doing. lol.Well here are some Tips from things I've tried this month:

Saving Money Tips:

1.)Buy an Actual Water Bottle: I love bottled water, especially Dasani but depending on where I buy it, it costs around $1.50 - $2.00. Buying one everyday a week for lunch costs around $10. Buying one everyday for a month is at least $30. Well honestly, I would rather buy shoes with that $30. If you buy a water bottle & keep refilling it, it will save you money almost immediately.

2.)End of Season Sales: I'm not sure why stores have all the winter stuff on clearance racks already when there is at least 2 months of winter left??? Do you know?? Well I took advantage of these sales. I have a Nine West Outlet by me & they had there end of the season sales. Even if it's just 20% off, its still more money in your pocket.

3.)Take the train, bus, or Ferry in to Avoid Parking Fees: Okay this may not apply to everyone. Well I live a short train ride away from New York City. I ALWAYS take the train or bus in. It is ridiculously expensive to park your car in the city. I imagine in any city. Why not take the train if you can. One night in NYC, for about 3 hours of parking it cost almost $40!! There was me & 2 other girls so it wasn't too too bad but I'd rather have more drinks then use the money on parking & gas too!!

4.)Drink Specials Night: This is an easy one. Alot of people have their favorite bar they go to. Right? Well check out the specialty nights! Is there a $3 Mixed Drinks Night? Or a $2 Draft Beer Special. Why not check it out! Or maybe even a Free Ladies Night option? Also you could wait til the drink girls walk around with the shots. They are always cheaper then going up to the bar. (P.S. Sometimes there is 20 cent Hot Wing Nights too. I do this every Tuesday @ a local bar.)

5.)Movie Matinees:I think we've all noticed the increase in movie tickets lately. By me it's $11 to see a movie, & $14 dollars for 3-D. I pay it, but I'm not happy about it. So I try to get a matinee movie whenever I can. Matinee movies are cheaper before I think its 3pm, & if somehow I wake up before noon on the weekends I go to the Morning Matinee which is $6. For students, you should check if a theater near you has Student days. Mine does, it's Thrusday. =)


Okay so those are a few tips to start ya saving money. I'm trying to work on that New Year's resolution that seems to be on everybody's list. It's never too late to start. Maybe I'll get to go to Las Vegas with the money I save. I haven't figured out where I'm going to go on vacation but it's definitely an option. But I sure as hell I hope I don't wake up with a tiger in the bathroom. hehe =P

What are you saving up for btw? Anything Cool?

See you all in February.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Omg thank you for all these Awards

Hey everyone, I feel so bad that I have not addressed the awards I've recieved lately, so I must do this now. Oh btw, please feel free to call me Mel, all my friends do. This week has just been crazy random. Bacon challenges, the Lacie incident, unnecessary drama that whatever I don't care anymore, & missing some things that I haven't really written about. Life in your 20's is hard, is all I can say, finding your place in this world & kickin and screamin your way through it. But thankfully I have the weekends to get a lil sleep. lol. I love blogging. I enjoy getting that "light bulb" sensation of Ooo I could toally post about this. Also the days where I just let my thoughts wander & hope the words make some form of point. One day at a time....

Now for the fun part. I've been given several awards, so bear with me with the length of this post =). Thank u, all of you! *Hugs*

#1: My Second Sugar Doll Award from Sheri @ Sheri's World.


And now to list 10 things about myself:
1.)I'm addicted to the show, The Closer on TNT. It's awesome!
2.)I burned my left arm cooking last week. Oops! I'm still learning. =P
3.)I got complimented on my make-up last night by a Drag Queen. It made my day!
4.)I'm hoping & wishing the Mess will come back, but I don't know how he can.
5.)I still have stuffed animals in my bedroom. One is still wearing The Lacie.
6.)I've never broken a bone. *Knock on Wood*
7.)I'm addicted to cheese. Especially Brie cheese. Yum!
8.)I used to take a class to draw fashion models & designs. I miss it.
9.)I have big feet. Size 10 sneakers
10.)I love candy sprinkles. I have to sprinkles on my ice cream.

And pass this on to 10 bloggers:
1. The Green in Me
2. A Thought is a Blossom
3. City of Dionne
4. Better Late than Never
5. Ciao Chessa
6. *Insert My Blog Name Here*
7. A Little Blog about Nothing
8. Inspiration in Italy
9. Minute by Minute
10. Pink Bow

#2: This is a new one. I received the Gorgeous Ladies of Blogging Award from Miss Angel6033 @ "In Joy and Sorrow".


I would like to give this blog to the following ladies:

Confessions of a + Sized Girl
I know, right?
Leah
Getting Fit & Loving it
What a Nerd would wear

#3: I have been award the Happy Award by a few lovely bloggers. Barry@ Life in Quotations, Aquiles Damiron @ Minute by Minute, & Tony @ Nut in a Lifeshell. If I forgot anyone else who've given me this award please do tell me.


Now 10 things that make me Happy:
1. Clearance signs that say, "Take an additional 50% off."
2. Paying my credit cards on time.
3. Sleeping, yea i know that's boring, but sleeping makes me happy.
4. When I see deer in the backyard of my office building
5. Finding shoes that don't hurt my feet.
6. Hugs. Hugs make me so happy.
7. Learning something new.
8. Dessert
9. Having underwear that actually fits. =P
10. Good times, there seems to be a lack of them. I hope that changes.

Now I would love to give this to 10 blogs that make me happy.
1. Droll Girl
2. Little Mrs Domestic
3. Simply Colette
4. Secret Office Confessions
5. Three Hundred Sixty Five Loves
6. Sheri's World
7. Quintessential Quirkiness
8. "In Joy & Sorrow
9. Pizza Box
10. Secret Story Time

#5: I also received an award from the lovely ladies over at Symphonic Discord.


Now I gotta write 5 random things about myself & tag two other bloggers for this award.
1. I have a fear of flying.
2. I'm very anemic.
3. I love corset tops.
4. I want to own the carnival ride, "The Gravitron" one day.
5. I've never owned a pet.

I'd like to pass this award to:
1. Curiousity
2. The Owl's Closet

#5: Last but not least, I was awarded "The Best blog Award" by Jennifer@I know, right.


I would like to pass this award to the following 5 blogs. =)
1. Symphonic Discord
2. A Clockwork Door Hinge
3. Dustjacket Attic
4. A Daily Dose of Dieting
5. Memento Mori

I have once last tag from Ms. Angel @ angel's little secret too. I will be doing that later in the week. I think I've said enough random things for now. I gotta think of some more. hehe.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Thank you Thank you for all the awards!! I'm going to try & make the most of today. Good luck!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

And if I had the chance I'd never let you go...


So an interesting thing happened this weekend. I met a guy. I wish I could tell you get all exited but instead I am a bit confused. You can say I'm having this, "I guess he's just not that into me" gut feeling but this was a bit weird. Here me out in my adventure into an almost Sex & the City episode.

I met this guy on Friday night. He was the bartender at the brewery. I told him about the Bacon adventure & he thought it was really funny & said he could do it. Probably not. Well I found out his name but I left for the night & told him I'd go back to the brewery Saturday. I did. He showed up a lil after me & asked me very gentlemanly if he could sit beside me & buy me a drink. hehe. I smiled, a real genuine smile, maybe I'll make a new friend tonight....

We talked about nothing & everything. He told me about his niece, how he has a tattoo of her name on his arm, so she will always be in his arms. I thought that was one of the CUTEST things I've ever heard. He bought me 2 drinks, we talked all night, we met up with mutual friends, & he kinda stayed by me the whole night. GREAT SIGN huh? I was sobering up & he was hmmm I'm not sure what state he was in but he didn't seem drunk...then the typical thing that I wish for all the time happened. He asked for my number. I gave him my number & he said,

"Cool, I'll text you in a few with my number & I'll call you tomorrow for the Jets Game."

He didn't kiss me, but did that weird stare at the girl's mouth thing guys do. I thought whatever I only know him about 8 hours. I drove home all happy & was like Omg I met someone!!! AWESOME!!! But then 5 minutes went by. I didn't get a text of his number. I didn't think much of it cuz I was so tired. Maybe he'll call tomorrow like he said he would for the game.

Well the Jets game happend at 3pm my time. They had the kickoff. Half-time. Few touchdowns. Then there was the end of the game. I watched all of this at home, alone. He NEVER called, NEVER texted me his number, & yeah, that's that. Nothing. We talked all night, Oh yeah, my friend that he knows says that he thought I was, "Mad Cool". Um yeah. Nothing. I guess he just wasn't THAT into me.

I know this is an old question to ask but Why do men never call??

Why waste the time of the night spending All your time with one girl & say things like you know we could watch this or we could real person that you are behind the games?? Why let your smile go up to your eyes and just leave us hanging watching the rain from the window? It boggles my mind. Maybe I should have told him that I own a Lacie =P.

I'm not upset because I really don't know the guy but really, "Come on!". What is up with the people where i live? What's with the games?? Maybe it's the pressure of Valentine's Day on a single person that's getting to me, but why is it so hard to meet someone? I would love to know. Back to the ole drawing board...

So in the real world not the movie world...Why do you think men don't call when they say they will? I'd like some guys opinions too here pretty please. Why don't you call the girl when you say you will?

I wish I just had a chance. A real, fair, chance at having something carry over to the next day with someone....is that so hard??....I guess it is.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Does One Size Fit all? The Review of "The Lacie".


Okay, let's get personal. Well there has been some controversy on my blog over a certain item of a clothing. A thong actually. There is a Victoria Secret thong called "The Lacie". What makes this panty an issue is the size. It is advertised as One Size Fits all. Are you kidding me? It didn't look magical, it didn't seem to have extra stretch to it, but nevertheless it is just one size. I was going to splurge & buy one to see if I could fit this One Size, but luckily I got a coupon for a free one in the mail the other day for entering in my email address. All I can say is, OMG I'M GRATEFUL THAT IT WAS FREE!!!!

The answer to the One Size Fits all question is this: NOPE. Now I understand I'm not Heidi Klum or Miranda Kerr. Well, so what. However I do have secret dreams of wearing lingerie like the ones they wear. Not today, that ain't happening. I picked up the solid black one because hey I love black lingerie & to my disappointment it did not fit.

Ever have that feeling with your underwear that its not pulled up all the way?? LOL! I know that sounds funny but wearing The Lacie for the 5 minutes that I did it just felt wrong. I felt really heavy, & it didn't really even come up anywhere near my hips & it looked ridiculous. I think I'd be embarrassed to wear it, little alone wear it for someone. SO Ms. Victoria Secret, What the hell????? Is this why there was a free coupon for people because you weren't sure if it would actually fit everyone?

One Size?? One Size?? Come on. Now I'm not heavy nor am I thin. My hips are about 38' around. That's not that bad. I weigh about 160 pounds and are 5'5". I'm disappointed that I went into Victoria Secret & wasn't able to wear the panty that was on the first table when you walk in the store with the HUGE sign staring me in the face.

Am I missing something here?? Was there something in the fine print that said One Size translates to a Small?? I don't get it. I just don't. I would actually love to wear it because I like the cut & the black lace looks so pretty, but it just doesn't fit right. Sigh. I would honestly think twice if your going to buy one because it might not fit. What a shame.

Hmmm...So what am I going to do with this lil Lacie thing. Well my stuffed animal bear was giving me a weird look when I was writing this so I decided to put it on her. lol. I think it looks great. Until I loose a hip to make it fit, I think she's just going to have to be the talk of the town *Cough* I mean, bedroom...



I think she likes it. Apparently it fits bears, who knew?!?!

Monday, January 25, 2010

How many chances to give? I just don't know...


Friendship. What a tricky word. Tricky in the sense that you could be friends with someone for years but in one moment that person could forget to "think" and throw your friendship out of the window. This happened to me sometime around last May.

I used to have a friend whom her & I knew each other since about 6 grade. That was about 13 years ago. As we grew up we totally went down different paths that included very different hobbies. *cough*. I did not follow where we she went. I couldn't. I'm just not that type of person. I've seen people do too much stupid shit while high or on drugs to even fathom doing it myself. I've never even smoked pot. To be honest I'm completely content with that. It's just not my thing. But my old friend, she used to do certain things.

We fell out of touch over her stupidity in our friendship. She even admitted it was her fault countless times over & has apologized. I didn't accept the apologies. I never thought I'd have to scream at a friend I've had for years because she was belittling me for no good reason. I hate fighting with people. It eats at me that I can't just call them up & resolve the problem & go get pizza. Maybe it's because I'm an only child? I hold onto things too desperately because I don't want to have nobody, so it kills me when I lose friends.

Well the past was then, the present is now. 2 Sundays ago I went to talk to her after about 9 months of silence. I'm going to try & give our friendship another chance. She was shocked I came in to see her at her job but she told me later last week that she was so happy we were talking again. But I was hoping she had changed. I hope she had grown up a bit. Who tells their friends, "Sorry I just wasn't thinking." I sure as hell don't. I'm not trying to paint myself as a saint here & her the bad guy but I think I'm just weary of letting her back in my life.

I hung out with her Saturday night & it seemed like history was repeating with the usual shit I became all too accustomed to be before when we hung out all the time. Sigh. I don't know how many chances I have left to give. I wish I could give a million chances but with her......I'm just not sure. It sucks. But to be true this blog I wanted to tell whats really going on with me. I'm conflicted.

How many chances do you give your friends when you fight?

People say if its true friendship you shouldn't even fathom walking away from them. I'm not sure what type of friendship this is. Real, toxic, she needs me to babysit her?? I guess time will tell, but I think its sad. Real sad that I can't trust a best friend of 13 years. I think her & I need to do girl's night & really talk about our friendship before one of us gets hurt again. I want to know that she will "think" about treating me with respect & maybe I'll give her some chances. Maybe...

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Apparently You CAN'T Eat 44 strips of Bacon in one sitting!!!!


For those of you who are new to my blog (Hi & Welcome!!), you might not know that I work in a small business office with 5 men. I'm the only girl. Working with only men definitely has it's ups & downs & totallly weird times. This past Friday night was one of them. hehe.

So one day at work I was staring off into space & was listening to the two other boys who sit near me chit-chatting. They were talking about movie popcorn. I opened my big mouth because I remembered a strange fact I once had heard:

"Oh guys! Just to let you know I heard somewhere that eating a huge tub of popcorn is the same as eating 44 strips of Bacon."

With that sentence, the bacon challenge began. One of my fellow employees then said,

"I could eat 44 strips of bacon in one sitting."

Only in an almost all-men office would they construct a Bacon Eating Challenge night. lol. We decided to do this on last Friday so we all met at my boss's house after work. We psyched up the kid who was going to eat the bacon. He didn't eat all day so he'd have an appetite, watched commercials for bacon, & talked about how much he loved it. The bacon was bought, the beer, the chips, & of course the anti-acids.

Never in my job-life would I think I would watch my bosses make bacon or have a work-function that was dependent on eating bacon. 44 strips of bacon to be exact. I, at first, wasn't going to post pictures but I realized NO ONE would believe me if I didn't. The faces are cut out to protect the innocent Bacon-Eaters.


Thats the cooking of the bacon process. Then the eating commenced.


This is my fellow co-worker who stated that he could eat all 44 strips starting off slow.


Unfortunately, he only could eat 29.5 strips of bacon.

I don't know why we didn't bet any money on this. I thought he could do it. He said that his stomach just stopped. I love bacon but honestly I think after about 10 pieces I would have to stop. Oh boy. It was so much fun tho watching this. It was a bit of bonding process for all of us too. There's only 6 of us so it would really suck if we all didn't like each other. I need a new job desperately but for now I had to laugh along with them. 44 strips of bacon??? Yeah in your dreams. hehe.

How many strips of bacon do you think you could eat in one sitting?? Also have you ever done any crazy challenges like this??
I'd love to know.

I thought it would be a good way to start of the week to do a funny post. hehe. I actually got a coupon in the mail today for a certain controversial item from Victoria Secret too. Yes, this week I will know the dreaded question. "Does one size fit all". Stay tuned, its going to be an interesting week.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

I can't imagine...but I wish...


I can't imagine how amazing it must be to actually go to one of these movie award shows. My God it must be amazing. To sit next to these actors & actresses. To watch them walk right in front of you. I don't know if I could even think or speak. I'd probably just sit there or stand there with my mouth gaping open & maybe...just maybe I'd remember to breath or blink.

I've always wanted to be an actress in my life. Since I was lil. My claim to fame is that I'm the girl in the #3 doll-mask in The Birthday Massacre music video, "Looking Glass", & a few skits of some of my friends. I would love to be in Hollywood. I know I have a math degree & didn't pursue acting but who knows? One thing I've learned lately is that nothing is definite & you never know what life is going to throw at you next.

That red carpet....Omg. To walk up that red carpet at any award show would just be a dream. An absolute dream. Maybe one day....Maybe.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

In a very unusual way I completely understand.


Somehow I figured it out. I figured out why I felt what I thought was "numbness". Nah, it's not being numb. What the issue with me yesterday after my date with the Drummer Boy was, that I'm over him. I guess from when he broke up with me 2 years ago I did get over him when he disappeared. I really am & I have to say I'm completely okay with that.

I called him on Tuesday to pick a time. He then called Wednesday to ask me to drinks. I went. I took off from work 10 minutes early, & told him I got off of work later then I actually do so I'd have more time to get ready. I even had a moment to sit & relax before. I was trying to remember him in my head. What I use to feel with him....

I walked into the bar & I immediately saw a guy with short blonde hair & a green shirt that reminded me of the last time I saw him. I approached the guy's back & put my hand on his shoulder & said, "Hey". As the man turned around for a split second I saw the Drummer Boy staring at me. Then I blinked & a stranger appeared before me. It wasn't him. lol. Drummer Boy was behind the bar not in front of the bar.

He looks the same. Exactly the same. But his eyes are different. He looked like he had the weight of the world on him. He said I looked great & when it came time to order I found out he had eaten right before he showed up. What the hell??? Who asks someone to dinner & eats before????? Well I ordered a drink & an appetizer. He just ordered a drink. I hate conversations where I just do all the talking because the other person isn't talking. We reminisced, talked about old times, our friends, & things we've gone and done in 2 years. It was weird. I felt like I was dragging information out of him.

7:30 came along & he had somewhere to go so we walked out towards the door. Drummer Boy then looked at the guy I had thought was him. He said to me,

"Yeah that guy does look me. 2 years ago."

That hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized why I was so nervous & freaking about this date. The first time I met Drummer Boy I had immediately picked him out of a crowded party bus & basically we hit it off right away. I don't remember the night much because frankly all we did was make-out. I think I was hoping for that Spark again. I was looking for the guy I met 2 years ago. He's not him, but I don't know if I ever really knew him. People in relationships sometimes only show a piece of themselves. That sucks, but it happens. I don't think he ever really showed me who he really was back then. What a shame.

Well the Drummer Boy chapter has closed for me. If he wants to be my friend, okay. I'll maybe hang out with him again but I'm just really over him. He'll be okay, he lands on his feet. If he needs a helping hand or ear I'll help him. But just as friends. I think its okay that I'm over it. Sometimes you need to move on.

So now what to do. I haven't talked to Mr. Platform but I think he too wants me to just be his friend. I'm actually feeling okay right now after all of this. The anticipation of meeting Drummer Boy kinda made me feel like I was being closed in a box. I don't have that feeling at all anymore. I'll just have to let this red balloon go wherever it may go.

I actually have programming homework from my job. Yes things have turned around alot with the job. I will do that post tomorrow. So until then sleep good. Nighty night.

This is the picture I THINK I'm going to put on the dating sites. Whatcha think? Should I get a pic with more of my body? Or more smile? Hmmmmm.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I just don't know what to think....


So. Hmmm. It's really hard to write a post when you have absolutely NO clue what your thinking. My brain is doing the "running like a hamster on crack" thing right now trying to figure out what just happened in an hour & a half time today. That hour & a half was the time I spent with the lil Drummer Boy. He called, I went. I need an extra day to write the post on him because yea, I'm spinning on the verge of numbness. All I can say right now is it was definitely a bad omen when I walked in and went up to a table, placed my hand on a man's shoulder, & it wasn't the Drummer Boy. He was across the bar, not in front of the bar. I went up to the wrong guy cuz he looked like him from behind. Even Drummer Boy said when we were leaving that the man did look like him from behind....anywho, the night was not what I was expecting & I'm upset, I think, or relieved or angry or...I just don't know my thoughts right now.

In the mean-time I thought I would try to make all of you laugh. I called one of my friends after my "Hang-out", "Date", "Get-together" oh whatever the hell it was, & she told me, "Whatever you do tonight make sure you laugh, so you don't cry." Ergo, that's what I'm going to do.


I work for a phone-book company type deal & I basically stare at a phonebook all day. Have any of you really looked at the phonebook? I know that sounds stupid with the internet and all now & google but I gotta say it is actually one hell of a funny read. There are headings in it that you look up what you are looking for. Plumbing contractors, attorneys, automobile people, & you name it. Well then there are the other headings....

TO be honest I don't even know what half of these things are but maybe this list of things in the phonebook will make you laugh & wonder what the hell is this!??!?!?!

1. Impregnating Plastic Metal Processes
2. Massages-Non-Therapeutic
3. Buses-Bodies
4. Livestock Waterers (I don't know what this is???)
5. Schools by Subject: Cheerleading
6. Avalanche Control (Do you call during one or after?? lol.)
7. War Games
8. Funeral Service Celebrants
9. Artificial Eyes- Human
10. Charm School
11. Funeral Escort Services (What is this???? Is this what I think it is???)
12. Junk Dealers
13. Escort Services - Motorized
14. Gumming Service
15. Peepholes - Door
16. Fan Mail Service
17. Lava Protection Gear
18. Shortening
19. Asbestos & Asbestos-Free Products

I dunno. I think these headings are funny. I would love to know what a Gumming Service is. lol. You never know what someone will find funny.

I will have a post tomorrow about the Drummer Boy. Right now I just can't think. So til tomorrow....

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Dreary Day = Zombie Novel Worktime.


What a more appropriate time to work on my novel then a day where the sun just can't seem to shine through the clouds. For those of you who don't know I'm working on writing a novel. I even attend a Writer's Group that meets every two weeks. It's a process that is still in its beginning stages but it's something I am thoroughly looking forward to doing in this new year.

so this important question came to my mindless thoughts today as a typed away at work. How does one suddenly just find the time to write a novel when they are not a professional writer & have a full-time job?? Well it's not exactly simple. I almost panicked a lil bit the other day that I had bitten off too much that I can chew by joining this writing group & setting deadlines for myself to get things done. Yeah I will freak out from time to time about things. But then I realized something that might seem to be staring me right in the face. This blog. I'm actually writing right now. Writing to tell you my thoughts, my adventures, & my randomness. I'm doing it. I don't have to change myself to become the writer I want to be, I just have to continue writing.

I'm starting to view blogging as a test to help my writing process. A test I'm glad to take every single day. So from the comments I love to receive I'm seeing if I Was I able to write clearly enough so everyone could understand what I was trying to say? I do re-read my posts a few time & backspace a whole lot to make sure they make sense. I have to now transfer this to my notepad & of course add in a few zombies here and there.

You always need to add a lil zombie here and there. hehe. Ironically some of my inspiration for the novel is watching the non-morning people that walk into my office building everyday. Also the drunken streets at 3am of a neighboring town where there is about 10 bars in one long strip. (Yeah, I know thats a lil ridicolous, I'm glad I'm not a heavy drinker.) Watching the people twitch awake or fight back the drunkness have engendered a different type of zombie to me thats not so, "Roar I need flesh now, Roar" that almost every single zombie story has. I want to try and do something different.

My zombies will be the final result of a drug gone wrong. No, not like movie "I am Legend". This drug wasn't trying to cure cancer but just the common cold. Immunity is my key word that drove the world to experiment & engineer new drugs which turns the living into these kinda wind-up toy dead-like people that when their brain decides to work they will seem to twitch & appear to be trapped in whatever memory their mind decided to throw at them. Therefore I am left with an infinite of possibilities of what to do. Also being in a real hospital for gall bladder surgery showed me how an emergency room worked. That will be definitely a highlight too.

Oh how I wish I could write about bouncing bears & a time-less love story that will capture everyone's hearts. However my mind just doesn't work that way. Oh well. "I myself am strange and unusual." - Beetlejuice. lol. So after posting this I will be finally starting to actually put the words on paper. It has begun....

Monday, January 18, 2010

I can't cook, therefore I go to Demos...



Every Sunday I somehow get up before noon & go to the Williams Sonoma Cooking demos in my nearby mall. I've been trying to learn how to cook. Before August, the extent of my cooking was chocolate-covered strawberries & bad instant coffee. lol. Not any more. In these demos they teach us the essentials of cooking. What certain terms are, some recipes, & of course we get to try out some of the yummy treats. This class yesterday really cheered me up a bit from the debacle that was Saturday as well as all your, "Kick his ass" comments. =P Thank you btw. I will deal with that properly when the time comes. I am nobody's door mat or at their beckon call.

This Sunday's demo was actually very interesting & I have a few tidbits to share with you that I learned. The topic was Pan-frying & Sauteeing. Both are done in a pan but they are two completely different things.

Pan-frying is cooking in alot of oil at a steady temperature to cook the food evenly.

Sauteeing is the opposite. Not so much oil in the pan & smaller portions of food to cook.

Deep-frying is when the food is completely submerged in oil & you don't have to turn it over to cook the other side.

Now the great instructor, Kathy, advised that the temperature of the oil in pan-frying should be about 320-330 degrees. Cooking at this temperature ensures the crispy outside & the moist inside. This way, for example, if your cooking chicken at this temperature, like in the demo, the oil should remain in the pan, not on your chicken so you don't get a greasy mess. OH and the pans that are appropiate to pan-fry in should be made of aluminum or stainless steel. Regardless of what you are cooking, add the oil first and heat it, then add the food.


What's nice about these demos is that it's right in front of you. You get to see what happens when you accidentally add water to the oil & see the splattering. You can smell the aroma of the butter & the olive oil she used to sautee the bacon in. (Delicious btw). And of course you get to taste what she made. There was a sauteed dish of cabbage, onions, and bacon. Firstly I didn't even know there was boy cabbages & girl cabbages. Apparently she used a boy cabbage. lol. Wel it was soo yummy!!

They also taught us how to clean up after using oil to cook. Do NOT PUT EXCESS OIL DOWN THE SINK!!!. And NEVER HANDLE HOT OIL. So what do you do? She said to let it at least cool off & try to soak it up with paper towels. If there is too much oil in the pan, then you can actually freeze it in a tuperware container, then throw it out. Not too bad of a tip. =)

I like going to the demos, not only because they are free, but I do feel like I'm learning something from them. Watching Top Chef & Iron Chef I'm starting to realize Ohhh so they are sauteeing the mushrooms...Ohhhhhh. lol. Eventually I'll learn how to cook, right now demos it is. =)

I hope I taught you a lil something today. One day down, 4 more days to the weekend. Whew.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

So how does one fall into a romantic comedy???


I have positively NO idea how to fall into a romantic comedy. That's me up there in the pic trying on a new dress. I did go to my Williams Sonoma demo today but I will post about that tomorrow. I have much more pressing matters to discuss tonight.

Well my last 2 postsd towards the end of the week was me fretting over the "date" with the lil Drummer Boy. Now, Im fit to be tied. From my Saturday, instead of knowing what Drummer Boy wanted I instead got a pretty fucked up game of ridicolousness. I was waiting for the call on Saturday when I heard my text message ringtone. It's the Drummer Boy. BUT the text read this:

"Heyy so would you be completely pissed at me if we rescheduled hanging out tonight its my friends bday and he kinda wanted me to go out with him?

I was beyond upset because seriously what the hell? He had called me on Wednesday to plan this out. I gave up on him in that moment & wrote back,

"It's okay. I guess call me another time."

I was aggravated & pissed off because the last thing I needed was this slap in the face. BUT then i get a call from this Drummer boy about 10 minutes later. I didn't pick up. He called again, so I picked up. He then told me,

"Hey I'm sorry about before. It's not right for me to break plans with you. I can see my friend tomorrow or later in the week."

So we were back on. Whew, I thought. I told him to call me when he finished his work & we'd figure out where we were going to for drinks & dinner. Then the nerves struck. I got dressed in my lil Nine West boots, straightened my hair, put on sexy perfume, changed into the nice lingerie just in case, plucked my eyebrows, put on my make-up, earrings & cleaned my car. I was still a lil pissed because of the almost being stood up, however I really didn't expect this Next call to happen. It started out with him saying:

"Hey your going to hate me..."

He canceled. He did say that he did want to see me, but seriously (I don't swear much on my blog but I have to), What the fuck??? I never thought he'd do this game with me when we're not even dating. He said he would call later in the week. I....I thought I was torn over him before Saturday but now I'm sooo twisted & torn about everything. Even if he just wanted to be my friend, what is this??? I guess he's one of those people who truly can't make up their minds. I have to make up my mind if I even want to see him after this crap. That what is, crap. Who does this to people??

I'm really starting to think people think I'm made of stone, that I can take anything & that I will never crack. Nope. I'm cracking. The doll is falling to the floor. I have alot of thinking to do & if he thinks I'm stupid enough to wait around for the next call, well Drummer boy I got some news for you....

I wish I knew how to fall into a romantic comedy. The cat always lands on it's feet in them....What's that free online dating site?? Plenty of fish.com?? I think I'm going to make a profile tomorrow. Maybe...ugh...I'm at a loss what to do. A big loss. *wtf*

Friday, January 15, 2010

But where have I been in those 2 years?????????


Okay. So. In my mind rants where I go over everything I've been neglecting to think of the other sides of things. I've been going over in my head about the Drummer Boy. Like has he changed, what does he want, what will tomorrow night bring?? But I just thought about him. It's been 2 years since we dated & about a year & a half since we've seen each other face to face. Well what is now dominating my thoughts is "Will he like a 2 years older version of me?"

I am totally NOT the same girl that he dated. I was 22 years old, still struggling with school, just had gotten my job I now have, & had my car for only a few months. Now, Frankly I've way more bitter. I've had a 2 break-ups. One is not even worth mentioning & the other was my break away from The Mess. I've been called the wrong name at very inopurtune times, been told just lies after lies, & didn't get respect. I think somewhere I thought if I stayed somehow someway it would eventually work out. Nope, I was wrong. I've lost about 20 pounds from when Drummer Boy first met me. I have all new friends then that time. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, I had 2 major health surgeries. One I had fibroids removed from my right breast, & had my gall bladder removed 2 months ago.

Basically I'm starting to fear that my mental & physical scars over the past 2 years may make him not want me back in his life. I'm nervous. I don't know if I want to even date him again, but what if he does? I'm just not the same naive girl who will just make out in the bar without really wondering "What is this?". I still have the butterfly hair clips I used to wear when I dated him but hair things don't make the person.

I'm going to go tomorrow & be myself. 24 year old me with my baggage in the front of the line. It's not that much baggage, I could probably just stuff it all into a carry-on. I'm also nervous cuz it's been a while since I've been on a real date. Probably around a year with the not-worth-mentioning guy. Why can't things just be easy??? Cuz that way it wouldn't be fun.

I'll try to post tomorrow before I go with my outfit I chose. He used to like that I wore hats back then. I think I'm going to wear one tomorrow. Maybe I'll seem like the girl he used to know.....but I know the second I open my mouth he'll know different. Geez I wish there was a Sex and the City episode like this. Carrie went back to Aidan not the other way around...Actually Drummer Boy is probably more like Jack Burger. He better not break up with me on a post-it. lol.

I apologize for not getting around to everyone's blogs as much this week. It's been a hard & tiring week. That's the only way to describe it. My "A" key actually popped off my laptop too. I can't find the top of it at the moment so I'm just pressing the lil button. I'll try to find it tomorrow morning. I'll try to get caught up as much as possible. Okay I hope everyone has a good weekend. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

So the story goes...It makes you wonder.....


So before Christmas I mentioned about a certain lil Drummer Boy that keeps trying to get back in my life. Here's the link to that post in case your new. Drummer Boy. However I didn't know what he wanted to come back as? Friends, lovers, boyfriend/girlfriend, aquitanaces...etc. I had told him a few days before X-mas to call me the following week after the holiday. Well instead he called today.

Now we broke up the stupid way. He just stopped calling one day 2 years ago.The "Disappearing Act" I like to call it. Too many guys are dependent on this cop-out. Anywho, Drummer Boy is cute with his blonde hair & very clear blue eyes, he's a very good kisser, has a job, and of course is a drummer. I actually have missing low tones in my ears. I have a 100% of my natural hearing but sometimes things are just a lil TOO LOUD for me to listen. *Cough* Drums being played an inch in front of me *Cough*. But the drumming thing isn't why I'm so torn on him...

At first everyone & me included thought he was probably calling cuz he was lonely & wanted something probably physical. But after 3 times of me telling him, "Oh sorry I can't, I'm just really busy right now from the holidays" on 3 different situations, he still Called again, still wants to hang out with me. That just seems weird to me. Where has he been that he would now after 2 years want me back in his life??? Our relationship wasn't anything spectacular. It didn't go far. I don't think he even called me his girlfriend and definitely never said, "I love you" so why return from the void? We get along on aim but we haven't seen each other in those 2 years so what would it be like face to face?

We made plans to chill on Saturday night. He suggested Saturday night so I'm like...isn't that date night?? (Yes, I'm doing the freak-out girl analyze everything again). I don't know what we're going to do yet so I guess I'll be able to tell then if it's a date or just a hang-out or a reunion special....If I don't go I'd regret at least knowing why he's trying so hard to come back....

But if I go & he wants to date me, well I don't know what I'd say. I'm lonely. Honestly. I hope that doesn't sway my judgment. I do remember liking him, but I'm WAY TOO AWARE of things that I Don't like about him. Or maybe he's changed in 2 years? Ack. Who knows. That's why I'm going on Saturday. To know.

My labyrinth just brought back another twist & I'm so shouting about it. I'm definitely going to pick out a Date Outfit, a Hang-out Friend Outfit, & a "I realize I don't want to go back with him" Outfit for Saturday. Soo much to think about & so lil time.

I thought Drummer Boy left without a trace...I was wrong.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Turned upside down.


Ohhh there is just so much I want to write. So many feelings I want to express. I almost wish I could crawl into my mind right now and really see what's going on like in the movie, "The Cell" Jennifer Lopez is able to enter people's subconscious mind to truly see the person within. The picture above is Jennifer's alter ego in the film. I wonder what my alter-ego would be like?

From the last few days, my world is just a wee bit upside down. I wonder what's floating around my mind cuz it just seems like a blur of mess to me. It's sorta like after you've bungee jumped there comes a point where your just dangling in the harness dizzy & your waiting for the instructor to basically set you right side up. Well I'm just dangling here. Waiting...to sort it all out & let my life make some form of sense. If I knew my true feelings towards people, events, situations, & memories perhaps I wouldn't feel like I'm walking through such murky waters. I'd like to be more open to people, let them see more sides of personality. I seem to be shielding parts of myself from certain people. I don't think I want to be like that anymore.

There are so many commericals, books, movies, & TV Shows where people come clean to another person & just spill their hearts out to them. Tell them everything. Every word, every thought, every shudder, every smile that makes me tick. I wish I could do that. Maybe if I write a letter to everyone I know & just let it all out. Maybe they would know how much they mean to me? But would it be effective? Would a person see a letter & say, "What is this? The Electric bill?" Or would they take each hand-written word & hold it dear because it was my true words to them?

I don't know what people would do because it wouldn't just be a facebook message that you could delete if you wanted with just a right click of the mouse. It would be something you can hold in your hand & feel the weight of the truth. I could put the messages in bottles but eep no one really swims in the Hudson River much so they would get lost. hehe. Or write the letter & read it to someone over the phone?

I think what I'm trying to express here is the need to reach out to people in my life that doesn't have to do with the computer & the need to tell how they really mean to me. I know I can't hug each & every one of you but believe me if I had some way of teleportation device I would. I'm talking about the people that live 5 minutes from me that I only get texts from. I wish they would value things & see the importance of friendships & family. See how much I need them in my life. And the amazing things just a hug could do. A hug with meaning is worth it all.

*Breathe* Even just writing this I feel better. I feel like somehow I've organized my thoughts a lil. I don't feel as lost. I've taken out one twist in the road. One down, a lot more to go...but they will go...one day at a time. So where's David Bowie to show me how to get through the Labyrinth? huh? just kidding. =)

Sunday, January 10, 2010

So a Demo, a View, & a Thank You Video walk into a bar...


So today I tried to resume my usual Sunday Williams Sonoma Cooking Demo. They haven't had them for the past few weeks due to the holidays. I was SHOCKED how many people showed up! I think there was at least 30 people, when usually its about 10-15ish people. I didn't know much about this topic, "Braising". Actually I didn't even know the term at all. I just have a quick lil lesson for you on this today.

Quick Cooking Tips: via Williams Sonoma

1.Braising is actually "Simmering food slowly in a moderate amount of liquid. Liquid an be water, stock, broth, wine or beer.

2.Now with cooking meat or chicken in this braising style you add the liquid FIRST & make the pan HOT FIRST because if it's cold the meat will stick to the pan!!

3.If your looking for new pans, Williams Sonoma has a whole new line of a new stainless steel pans.

Frankly, I didn't stay long at the demo. I couldn't. My mom wasn't with me & with the events of the last few days I just couldn't get into it. I left half way through. In times of loss, I tend to just crawl into myself a lil bit & reconnect the pieces. I drove about 20 minutes to a neighboring county to just be by myself for a while. I live near the start of the Appalachian Mountains & their are a few look-out points that Omg are just beautiful. I drove to one & just looked out for a few minutes.


That was one of the views from where I stood. That's the NY State Thruway from Wayy up above. If you click it, it'll enlarge more. Its so pretty to me. It looks like it can go on forever...

There are some people in my life right now I wish I could call because I miss their friendship. Not so much the messed up relationship but the companionship I felt with them. However it was me with the feelings not him, but I wish I could re-kindle the friendship with him. I don't know if he'd even answer my call. I wish he knew I still cared, still would take him back if he wanted to be with me or ever try to be with me. Ohhh what a mess him & I became. What a mess.

I wrote a blog on Friday about the a friend of the family passing away. I cried when I found out & have cried for the past 2 days. It's hard to lose someone close to you. I hope she has found peace. I hadn't seen Mary Lou through the recent bad times but I will always remember her in the good times. She will be always in my memories.

I wanted to thank all of you for your comments & I didn't think just words or a picture of the words Thank you were enough. The cool man at Pizza Box did a video blog a lil while back thanking everyone personally. He has inspired me to do the same.

video

The funeral services for my friend are tomorrow. I won't be posting again til Tuesday. Rest in peace Mary Lou, thank you for helping me in my life so much. I'll miss you.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

I'm sorry but I have to let my hair down.

I usually do 1 post a day, but sometimes I skip a day if I'm too tired by 11:11pm E.S.T.. Today however I'm wide awake and have to add this. Literally while I was writing my last post about the awards I got a phonecall on my house phone. I knew who it was, one of my mom's friends, so I didn't pick up. I listened to the voicemail & something in that voicemail of the "Call me as soon as possible", I knew I had to call my mom to tell her to call Pat. I finished the post & waited to do my night's plans. I got the news when my mom came home from work. A friend of my mom's & mine passed away today. I've known this lady my whole life. Her name was Mary Lou. My mom & her had an argument about 6 months ago so I hadn't seen her since her daughter's baby shower. That day seems like yesterday tho it was last spring. Mary Lou got very ill soon after & it was almost too much to process because it happened so sudden that she was sick. Last I heard she was doing better.

I sat & cried. Some points in your life you worry if you've truly gone numb. Numb, meaning you don't know if you have emotion left. I realized today that I'm not numb, I can cry, I can still be hurt, I can still love, I can feel loss. My mom has been calling all the people that Mary Lou knew that I don't think her daughter even knows she knew.

It's werid writing this. I debated writing this, but this blog is the truth & I don't think it be fair to our friend to not mention the loss. I'm alright because I know she's not in pain or sick anymore & I'm glad she got to see her grandchildren in her life. This is not my first time dealing with a loss. In a period of about 10 years or so about 20 people both friends & family members have died that I have known. Some of which I attended the funerals, some I couldn't. I'm going to go to the wake & service for Mary Lou.

I remember being 8 years old and speaking at my great-grandmother Lily's funeral. It was hard to walk up there being so young but I did it. I'll always remember her & want to name a child I might have one day Lily. I tried not to cry for as long as I could to show everyone I was okay. I'm like that. I hold it in for other people's sake. I'm going to try & hold it in this week.

I just can't believe it. I knew something was wrong when Pat called. It was just something. Mary Lou held my high school graduation party at her house because it rained that day & my mom couldn't fit all the people in our condo. She babysat me when I was a lil girl. She picked me up from things when my mom couldn't. She had such a great laugh. She loved animals. She would always give me a hug & a kiss & say, "Goodbye sweetie". I'm going to miss that. Now I'm tearing up again. It's still new. I can picture her saying that to me. She had parties & would roll up the cold cuts & she made me a lil pillow with an angel on it that I had with me at college. I have to find that as soon as possible. I wish I still had the lil angel pin she gave me for my junior prom but I lost it.

You don't have to comment on this post. It's totally okay because it's a lot to handle. This is more of me adding something to my story of my life because I can't leave it out. I'm sorry if I don't get around to your blogs to comment back for my last few posts. I love reading your posts everyone. I have an enormous head-ache right now so I have to go to sleep. It's also my dad's birthday this week so tomorrow i'm going to my grandpa's. So goodnight everyone. Im sorry if I'm a bit Blog-Lite.

Thank you Mary Lou for everything. Please don't be in any pain any longer.

Friday, January 8, 2010

I can't belive this! Thank you!!

Over the past few days I have been given a few awards & I have to take a minute to thank everyone & do the tags for them. =) I actually took off today from work because I needed a break from all of it. After my boss pranked called my office phone because a fellow employee told him like a jerk, "It would be funny"...I decided I couldn't deal with them one day this week. My boss apologized but I was upset. I will deal with this issue in person on Monday. It's beyond respect now, and things have to change. I can't afford to lose my job right now or my health insurance so I will take a professional action. I never thought I'd say this but, "I wish I had a cubicle". It would give me a lil privacy & a small filter of the stupidity.

Also I'm going to be calling Mr. Platform. I realized he has not rescheduled his party yet. I want to meet him more so in my life than ever. Even if he just becomes just a friend it would still make me happy.

Well on a lighter note the awards have just cheered me up so much. Thank you thank you. Here we go with them.


The Beautiful Blog Award. Thank you Leah, Barry from Life in Quotations, & The Owl's Closet Please go check out their blogs. There words & posts are beautiful.


I'd like to pass these awards to:

Just Beachy
black and white collage
Ciao, Chessa
Bit Cat
Hello Denysia


Secondly I recieved the Glamourous blog Award from Valerie @ Next to Heaven Thank you girl!! Love your designs! Check out her blog & her etsy store!

I'd like to pass these awards to:

Le vie...J'aime
The Life of a twenty something
"In joy and Sorrow"
Here's to Life
HotchPotch Ehhh?


Thirdly, the cool lady over at "In Joy & Sorrow" gave me the "Over the top" Award! Thank thank you!! Check out her blog too!

This one has rules so here it goes: Answer in one word:

1. Where is your cell phone? coat

2. Your hair? straight

3. Your mother? awesome

4. Your father? happy

5. Your favorite food? pizza

6. Your dream last night? WEIRD

7. Your favorite drink? Cocoa-Cola

8. Your dream/goal? happiness

9. What room are you in? den

10. Your hobby? writing

11. Your fear? loneliness

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? happy

13. Where were you last night? Tappan

14. Something you aren't? bitch

15. Muffins? please

16. Wish list item? Louboutins

17. Where did you grow up? suburbs

18. Last thing you did? drink

19. What are you wearing? sweater

20. Your TV? standard

21. Your pets? nonexistent

22. Your friends? somewhere

23. Your life? rut (this is jessika's word & i have to keep it)

24. Your mood? tired

25. Missing someone? Mess

26. Vehicle? Honda

27. Something you're not wearing? hat

28. Your favorite store? burlington

29. Your favorite color? cerulean

30. When was the last time you laughed? seconds

31. Last time you cried? yesterday

32. Your best friend? Erin

33. One place that I go over and over? Mall

34. One person who emails me regularly? Stores

35. Favorite place to eat? TGIF's

Yeah know it's kinda hard to answer things in one word. hehehe. =)

I'd live to pass this award to: (It's totally okay if you don't do the 1-word thing.) =)

Leah
Mad Madam Mim's Mimsy
Life in Quotations
The Owl's Closet
Children of the 90's

I just want to give everyone warmfelt Cyber *Hug* to all of you. Thank you for the awards & your comments to my last post on Respect. Respect is a hard topic & I admire all of you for trying to help me out. I will take everyone of your answers to heart, even the ones where you told me to kick the snot out of them. hehe. =)

I think I'm going to be creating my own award to & debut it next week. It will be a very generic, "Tough Cookie" Award so men & women can accept it. I will be designing it over the week & will debut it.

In my day off I went out to lunch with my cousin & I'm going to see the movie Up in the Air tonight with my friend Erin. Just trying to get my mind off it. I will deal with my job on Monday. I'll let you know what happens. Til Tomorrow...

Thanks again!!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

All I'm Asking is for a lil Respect!


Oh Aretha Franklin, I envy you. You got your respect in the movie, "Blues Brothers. I need a lil piece of that respect. Easier said than done it seems for I'm one of those nice people who gets walked on alot. I've been there for people & then when it's my turn to need a shoulder I'm left crying on my own. Why is it that when all you are is nice to people they are never there when you need them or don't treat you with respect? Is it just me that this has happened to? Do you feel like you don't get enough respect in your life?

But I think the real question is...how do I GET respect? I've worn my high-heeled Nine West boots for the past 3 days at work & I've actually been talked to less at work by the 5 men I work with. I've been straightening my hair to look more put together, but the guys sometimes still talk like it's a boys locker room & it's like I'm invisible. Do I have to come in there naked one day to even get them to turn around & say hi to me?!?!?!?! One of them claim that they can see me come into the office in the reflection of the window in front of him so he's saying hi to a mirror image, not me. I did get these evil step-sister boys I work with to actually say, "Excuse Me" when they burp but it's not enough. They ignore the fact that there is a woman in the room & I just don't know what to do to change this. I am looking for another job, but what do I do til then?

I used to have friends that whenever they wanted to hang out, I would change my schedule to fit them in, but then when I want to hang out no one is ever around. I know I've had to deal with alot of grown-up issues in the past 2 years so I guess they don't want to get involved, ut some people in my life have just discarded me like I'm a Sham-Wow that they used too much. I don't get it. One such friend used to tell me, "I don't know what I would have done without you in the past 3 years." But when I told him, "What if I just left right here & now," he told me, "Go. Just leave. Wouldn't bother me one bit." Perhaps I've just met some cruel people who don't know the value of friendship or don't know any form of office etiquette?

What's hard I'm finding about getting respect is that it's not a material item. You can't buy it at Walmart or at the fancy make-up counter. I wish you could just put it in your pocket or wear it around your neck. Even looking put together doesn't make it appear. It's a feeling & feelings can be overlooked by others. I'm just at a wall with this & I'm stuck without a proper ladder. I know you can't just wake up with the world respecting you but I don't know where to begin...

Well I'm going to wear my heels tomorrow, I straightened my hair again, I'm going to say please & thank you, help out my friends when they need me, & hope for the best I guess. Maybe I'll land on feet...Respect will be coming this way, somehow.

How did you get respect in your lil world? When did you realize you had it?


Day #6: Smile Project: The awesome girl @ the blog "In Joy & Sorrow" gave me the Over the Top award! Thank you!! Go check out her blog, here's the link. "In Joy and Sorrow" She's so in the now & I love her opinions! =)

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

I swear the Fortune Teller gave the money back!!


One day about a year ago I went to a Renaissance Faire & decided to go to a fortune teller to read my palm. I always thought things like this were cool...maybe just maybe they would be right. Well after about a 3 minute inspection of my left hand which is the picture above the fortune teller sighed & said, "Miss you have far too many lines on your hand that it's just too hard to read. Let me give you your money back." Dumbfounded I just stared at her blankly for a minute & she then closed my hand into a soft fist & then said, "It's okay. You have the hands of a tired worker & your life is very complicated it seems. But your young, things change." I don't know if she was just tired from the day & didn't want to decipher the many lines on my hand or if maybe she was right.

I've always seemed to have a complicated life. That must be why I have a ridiculous amount of lines on my hands. Nothing is ever easy. You would think for a single girl, only child, has a job, lives at home, has a few friends, that has graduated from college would get a lil lesser of a load of stress & complication. Nope. I wish I did.

The boy never just likes me & then calls, the job will one day turn to a nightmare, the friends will back-stab me & not care when any human being would in the situation, the pain in my side is actually something wrong, the ex never just leaves they want to be friends, the pretty high-heels make me trip a lil every now & again, & the waterproof 18 hour eye-liner fades so I look like a raccoon when I come home from work. How do get out of this maze? How to look past this rut?

I've kinda started off the new year like I started off this blog. Many things to do but will I ever actually do them? It's so easy just to say this or that. Well I'm starting to them. The fortune teller gave me my money back so I have to change this tired worker future...

Firstly I took The Mess, My Brown Eyed Mr. Big, that I wish would come back in my life but I'm just kidding myself, off my Speed Dial. Maybe if I don't see his name everytime I click the number 7 I will forget easier. He's gone, I haven't talked to him without a short text in about a month & a half. I'm upset but I have to move on. He gave me the "We gotta chill soon" a while back but when I responded "That'd be cool, I miss you." There was no back response from him. I put all the lil things he's given me over the past 3 years in a box for safe keeping. No use looking at all the stuff. No use at all. I can't bring myself to call. I want to check up on the friend I so dearly miss but I guess he wasn't a friend at all if he will just leave to be in the spotlight with another. Whatever...goodbye Speed Dial #7.

Secondly today I went back to the GYM!!!! Yes, it's been a while but it's really hard to get motivated when your stomach still hurts from your gall bladder removal surgery. But I did it! I walked for a 1.5 miles & Bicycled for 10 minutes. Yes it's not alot but I have to go easy with this. I still am not healed. I learned that from trying to dance like Shakira the other night. Yeah she must have fake hips. hehe.

I don't think you can erase the lines on your hand or alter them, but I can affect the outcome of them. Few small starts on the resolutions but they are starts. I'm not going to be "Calling now for my free reading" but I've very interested in the real outcome. I can't just sit here. I'm on the move, I'm trying & need to keep at it!! *Wishing*

Have any of you started your resolutions yet? I would love to know!



Day #4: Smile Project: Watching the episode of "Mythbusters" about proving the myth that Elephants are actually afraid of Mice. It was hilarious. I laughed so hard!! They are afraid of mice!!!!

Day #5: Smile Project: My mom said she was proud of me that I can balance my checkbook & that I'm aware of how finances work. It made me smile to hear her say that.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Oh Money...You are a Wicked lil thing.


A Penny here, a penny there, pennies are actually everywhere. This is a picture of all the change in my piggie bank for the past couple of months. All the change after I've broken a dollar & all the money I've picked up off the floor. It somehow actually added up to $60 bucks. Too bad it won't get me a pair of Louis Vuittons. But I'm going to save up as much as I can.

January. The new start. Well it has a lot of changes in store for it that I have to prepare myself for in the future. For example, I am now NO LONGER on my parent's health insurance. Plan & simple it fucking sucks. I will now have to get about $120 out of each of my paychecks & my co-payment is now $30 instead of the $10 I used to pay. I think this is why I wasn't so anxious to get out of college because full-time students were still considered "kids" I guess in the health insurance world. I am grateful that my job does offer a health plan & it is less expensive than if I was paying it on my own but now I don't have dental insurance either. I get sick a lot. I'm actually a healthy person but I'm just one of those people who are very susceptible to colds, sinus infections, & other. I've had 3 medical reason surgeries in the past 2 years so I can't afford to not have health insurance. But it's extra money now out of my pocket.

Well now I gotta plan every action. Each month I try to do a "Saving Money" Post where I tell you what I will be doing to save a lil extra. Maybe one of these can help you out too.

Here are some Money Saving Tips:

1.)Semi-Annual Sales: My absolute favorite. I'm addicted to Victoria Secret's body sprays & panties so this is a great deal. $16 buck underwear is now $5.99. That's over 60% off. This sale is going on now til January 18th. Bath & Body Works is now having their Semi-Annual Sale with $3 & $5 bins everywhere of your scent favorites. I will be hitting them up later in the week.

2.)Magazine Subscriptions: You know those annoying pieces of paper that look like an index card that fall out of your magazine the second you open them? Well they can actually save you money. If you buy Cosmopolitian every month or like Marie Clare why not get a subscription & save some money? It's worth a shot. I did this & it's nice to not have to search the stores for the copies of them anymore too.

3.)Check your Credit Card Bills: I actually was doubled charged in Express this past month. I called my cred card company & got it resolved but if I hadn't looked I would have paid an extra $32 this past month. Look for anything that looks weird too.

4.)Salad Bars: I know not every super market has one but if they do check it out. Okay so here's the deal with this. You can go to Panera & spend $7 on a salad when you don't like everything in it. Well you can go to a salad bar & get EXACTLY what you want for about $4.99 per pound. That's a hell a lot cheaper & you'll get more for your money. It's also healthy too.

5.)Save your Pocket Change: A lot of people just throw their change into their purses or jam it into their pockets & don't give it much thought. Saving your change in a jar or putting it into an actual change purse or that lil zipper in your wallet can help you save money or feel like you have more cash. It adds up too. I got an extra $60 bucks from just change.


That's a short list for you. That picture is Katie Holmes from the movie "Mad Money". I usually do a longer list but with Christmas in the shadows of the past few weeks I've spent a good amount of money. Well now it's really time to start buckling down be conscious of it all. Money is a wicked lil thing that really needs a house to be dropped on it, ASAP. =)

Day #2: Smile Project 10': The movie "It's Complicated". I laughed so hard. Meryl Streep is awesome.

Day #3:: I can see my floor in my bedroom again. I cleaned for about 3 hours. I have NO idea where anything is but it looks clean. =)

Friday, January 1, 2010

I think Snow has a crush on me....


Happy New Year everyone!!! Every new year is just so surreal to me. The blank slate. I've always said that when you are going to go do something make sure you have a story to tell. I like being able to say something when people asked, "So what did you do tonight?". Well last night was no exception.


I woke up in the morning to a blanket of at least 3 inches of snow on the ground. Great. It took me out a half-hour to get to my 5 minute away job. That picture I took while I was stopped at a red light. Thanfully my job let me about a lil bit early after an extra half-hour of sports talk. I got all dressed in my pretty skirt & my fem-bot shirt BUT then came the snow again. See there's always gunna be a story. My friend Erin & I turned around from our original bar we were going to go to and then went into the town I live in. It took us 5 bars to find one that was the friendliest and got one cat-call from the train conductor that passes through my town too. Yes, we were the youngest ones in the bar by at least 40 years but we had fun. They gave us free champagne, party hats, beads, & poppers.


I guess snow has a crush on me & wanted to be my kiss at midnight. This is the photo from outside the bar a lil after midnight. It's okay. I was flattered with the snow's crush, I just wish snow wasn't so cold. I miss the warmth of a relationship...

Well 2010. Hi! I'm still here, still fighting, still missing, still getting over, & still trying my hardest. I got my lil Disney picture day-by-day calendar beside on January 1st. It's going to be a rocky road but I will trudge my way through it. Happy New Years day everyone & Good luck!!


That's Erin & me on the right.

Day #1: Smile Project of things that made me smile: My friend's sister's 2 year old playing with the lil Elmo Ice Cream Truck I gave him for Christmas & then him going Happy New Year to me. Absolutely adorable.

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